A Positive Spin On Loose Skin

August 10, 2013

by Chris Waffle

I remember not long after I made the decision to have bariatric surgery, I, like many of you, started doing research about how my new life might be afterwards.  As someone who didn't know anyone who had ever lost a significant amount of weight and who had never seen an episode of The Biggest Loser (a topic to be discussed in a future blog! I'm such a tease!), I quickly realized I may have to contend with something I hadn't thought of...

Loose Skin!

Yes, my fleeting dreams of becoming a Calvin Klein model were quickly dashed when I realized, as a man in his late 30s who had been overweight his whole life, I would most likely have loose skin when I lost my excess weight. In fact, during the months leading up to my surgery, I became a little obsessed wondering how much loose skin I would have and it became my biggest fear about getting the surgery - easily eclipsing dying on the operating table or playing hardball with Calvin Klein lawyers over missed royalty payments.

I soon learned that there is really no way to predict the how/what/why/wheres of loose skin.  There are so many variables and factors involved, you sort of just have to keep your fingers crossed and see where everything ends up. And while I do have a lot of loose skin, I consider myself pretty fortunate as I imagined it was going to be much worse than it ended up being.  I know that I could fill a lot of it out with muscle if I was motivated enough.

Also, a giant guitar hides it pretty well in pictures.

Anyway, I know some folks can have a lot of loose skin and it can be very uncomfortable and upsetting. But I'm not here today to discuss how I think insurance carriers should always cover it's removal or debate what the most helpful brand of man-spanx are. I'm here to put a positive spin on loose skin!

Chris Waffle's Top Five Uses for Loose Skin
-Wrap it around a loved one as a blanket during those cold winter months
-In the unfortunate event of a fall from a tall height, use it as wind resistance to slow your decent
-Hide snacks inside it when going to the movies
-Use it to frighten away wild animals
-Three Words: Nature's Silly Putty

I hope I was able to help you see the lighter side (ha ha see what I did there?) of loose skin.  To me, it's such a small downside of a procedure that has profoundly changed my life for the better. So when it comes to that extra skin you see in the mirror, fight it, embrace it, wrap it up or let it fly because, like it or not, it's here to stay.

Well...it's here to stay for me because I can't afford a good plastic surgeon!

Chris Waffle is one-half of the comedy-rock duo Hot Waffles and has been entertaining audiences for years. He had the vertical sleeve gastrectomy in 2011 and has been mentoring others in their weight loss journey and using his humor and success as an example to others. Click here to read more about Chris and his ObesityHelp Breakout Session: Where’s the Funny Fat Guy?

You won't want to miss Chris's previous ObesityHelp blog entitled: I’m Not Too Skinny After All?

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