From Failure To Focus

Changing Your Mindset from Failure to Focus

October 16, 2017

From Failure to Focus!

When I regained weight and first realized that weight loss surgery wasn’t enough, I had regained 50 pounds. I felt like a complete and utter FAILURE. What I didn't know then and what I know now is that I needed to switch up my mindset from failure to focus.

I sit here as a 10-year post-op having regained 50 pounds. It feels like only yesterday, I can remember the highs I had after having weight loss surgery when the weight was dropping off and I was on cloud 9, feeling on top of the world.  I was a “newbie” and completely in control of my destiny. I was in what many of us call the honeymoon phase. I was starry-eyed and the world was wonderful and my goals were within my grasp. My glass was half full, in fact, my glass was overflowing with scale victories and non-scale victories. I mean what could possibly go wrong?

Well, a lot went wrong. I became complacent. I woke up one day and I was TIRED.  Tired of weighing my food, tired of protein first, tired of being on a diet (and regardless of if you call it a diet or "lifestyle" change because in the end, you watch what you eat). Yup folks, I was TIRED. I didn't get on the scale daily, some meals were PURE sugar, not an ounce of protein. I barely was drinking my water...and that resulted in my FIRST 25 pound regain and the negative failure talk began.

The Negative Mindset Continued

“How could you have weight loss surgery, allowing them to remove over half my stomach, “only” to regain the weight?” “You have to be the biggest loser on the block!” I slunk back into my old mindset of "it doesn’t matter what you eat since you gained weight."

All my old habits came back with a vengeance:

  • A little bit doesn’t hurt
  • The calories you eat in the car don’t matter
  • Oh well you’re already fat eat it anyway

I began calling myself all sorts of nasty names. Names I won’t repeat here and names I would never in a million years say to someone that was struggling. For some reason, it was ok to say those things to me, right?!

This slippery slope had me sliding even further and further down the rabbit hole until I sit where I am right now with 50 pounds of weight regain. When I first stepped on the scale and saw that 50 pounds, I thought I would snap out of the failure funk but I slipped down even further. After everything I had been through, all the half marathons I completed only to end up a failure.

Then it dawned on me. I stopped and actually looked up the definition of the word failure:

Fail-ure, noun

  1. Lack of success
  2. The omission of expected or required action

From Failure To Focus After WLS

I had to really sit and look at the word and try to apply it to my situation. The more I tried, the more I realized the word didn’t fit. I’ve had success, I AM a success. I needed to show myself my successes so I came up with my list:

My List Of Successes:

  1. I am smaller than I was in 1984 (SUCCESS)!
  2. I weigh 100 pounds less than my highest weight (SUCCESS)!
  3. I weight 75 pounds less than I weighed when I first started looking into surgery (SUCCESS)!
  4. I walk at least 3 miles 3x a week (ACTION and SUCCESS)!
  5. I have completed 7 half marathons (ACTION and SUCCESS)!
  6. Regardless of my weight or how I feel, I hop on the scale every December 31st to assess the year (ACTION and SUCCESS)!

My list STOPPED me dead in my tracks...I had been so focused on "regaining" and labeling myself a “failure” that I hadn't really stopped and looked at MY truths.

My successes and actions negated my thoughts of being a failure. I've come so far and while I weigh more than I want to weigh, I can't get so wrapped up that I lose sight of the bigger picture...I’m still here which means the party isn’t over. I have the means to achieve my goals if I change my “F” word.

So what does this moment in life mean, to me?  It means I'm going to change my “F” word from failure to FOCUS. I’m going to stop dwelling on the things that I can’t control and focus on the things that I can control.

I haven't quite figured everything out but I’m working on using more ACTION words with my mindset. I CAN control how MUCH I eat. I CAN control how OFTEN I eat. I CAN control WHAT I choose to eat. I CAN control WHY I choose to eat. I CAN control my EXERCISE. I CAN control how OFTEN I exercise.

Being Kinder And Gentler To Myself

Undoing all the negative talk has been proving to be one of the hardest things I’ve done in a while. After all, when no one is listening you can say what you want to yourself. I’m being kinder and gentler to myself and it’s working. I have stopped the upward trend on the scale, I am sleeping better and overall I like myself again. I’m falling back in love with me and I believe that is allowing me to change my focus from my so-called failures to my continuing successes.

As I look ahead of me instead of behind me, I realize that today is the first day of the rest of my life and I AM in control of what is going to happen each and every day. As long as I take action, I walk in my successes and that stops me from ever being a failure.

from failure to focus

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Michelle Wilson had VSG surgery 11/26/2017 and has kept off 100lbs from her heaviest, she does that by maintaining a positive attitude and not letting life keep her down for long. Michelle is one of the Ambassadors of the Los Angeles chapter of Black Girls Run, a nationwide organization whose mission is to encourage ALL (especially African-American women) to make fitness and healthy living a priority