March 2004 Surgery Date
JoyCook’s Posts
Post Date 5/25/09 9:07 pm
Topic: RE: Terrified...
Karen,
You are certainly in my prayers. It is so hard to not believe that everything we experience physically ties back to WLS. I am praying that this is something that is correctable for you. Please keep sharing with us as you learn more and let us support you.
Joy
Topic: RE: Terrified...
Karen,
You are certainly in my prayers. It is so hard to not believe that everything we experience physically ties back to WLS. I am praying that this is something that is correctable for you. Please keep sharing with us as you learn more and let us support you.
Joy
Post Date 5/20/09 6:12 am
Topic: RE: New Info
How twisted am I? The first thought that came to my mind was, "Gee, if I only weighed more, I could eat more!" Not good!
My husband thinks he is having some side effects of his Lipitor and has decided to go off it. This has caused him to rededicate himself to low-carb, which should be an encouragement to both of us. I'm still struggling with carb-binges, but at least I'm aware and fighting. It seems like the worst cravings are when I am angry. Somewhere along the way, I learned to substitute "hunger" for "anger" as a more acceptable alternative. Of course, eating does not subside the anger, so binges are the result. Amazing that I am just figuring that out!!! Now, if I can just figure out how to unlearn it!
One day at a time, for all of us. Peace and health to all!
Joy
Topic: RE: New Info
How twisted am I? The first thought that came to my mind was, "Gee, if I only weighed more, I could eat more!" Not good!
My husband thinks he is having some side effects of his Lipitor and has decided to go off it. This has caused him to rededicate himself to low-carb, which should be an encouragement to both of us. I'm still struggling with carb-binges, but at least I'm aware and fighting. It seems like the worst cravings are when I am angry. Somewhere along the way, I learned to substitute "hunger" for "anger" as a more acceptable alternative. Of course, eating does not subside the anger, so binges are the result. Amazing that I am just figuring that out!!! Now, if I can just figure out how to unlearn it!
One day at a time, for all of us. Peace and health to all!
Joy
Post Date 5/20/09 6:05 am
Topic: RE: a nice day
It sure makes us pause to appreciate the sweet little aspects of our lives, doesn't it? Glad you are having some good days, and hope that today is another in a long string of them!
Joy
Topic: RE: a nice day
It sure makes us pause to appreciate the sweet little aspects of our lives, doesn't it? Glad you are having some good days, and hope that today is another in a long string of them!
Joy
Post Date 5/16/09 4:33 pm
Topic: RE: Im home tonight
Topic: RE: Im home tonight
What a roller coaster ride! I think I'd be looking for a med center that specializes in this sort of thing. Maybe Mayo Clinic or Johns Hopkins or MD Anderson. Often these places know treatments that are not generally available and how to get signed on for them. It sounds like you have the time to research it and talk to people, but I would definitely get a second opinion in a place that has more extensive experience in this specific problem. I know it sounds scary to travel or to start over, but I have seen that be the answer.
I'm not sure where you are, but maybe there is a major med center not too terribly far from you. I'm praying that you connect with the right people quickly. I don't see how he can live a normal life the way it is. I would not accept that without a fight.
I am so sorry for all of the stress and turmoil that you are going through. I know how the medical system can make you feel vulnerable and helpless, and afraid to demand answers. I have been there with a sick child. I will never allow myself to surrender control again. (My story had a happy ending, but was terrible to live through). I will always seek medical professionals who will respect my right to make knowledgeable choices, and will help me do that. Most doctors, in this type of serious condition, are happy to have you seek a second opinion.
Keep "talking" to us! We care!
Joy
Post Date 5/16/09 4:19 pm
Topic: Checking in
I wanted to be accountable. It has been a couple of weeks since I came back. On a whole I have been successful of breaking the carb-grazing cycle. The first few days were terrible. But the cravings are much reduced.
I had a bad week last week. I went to the dentist for oral surgery a bit over a week ago. For some reason he had a hard time getting the novacaine to numb the area where he wanted to work. I've never had that problem before. He wanted to give up and send me to someone else, but I talked him into waiting and trying again and it finally worked.
I wish I'd counted the shots--I'm guessing 15-20. The work proceeded fine without pain or problems. He guessed that it might take a day for my mouth to wake up. It took an hour and a half. So, where did all that Novacaine go? I suppose into my blood stream. I felt very lightheaded and strange that day, but the odd thing was that apparently it triggered a major depression. I cried for most of 3 days. Everytime the thought came to mind "Why am I so emotional?", I would start crying again. About 4-5 days later I came out of the fog and realized that the last clarity of thought I had had was before the trip to the dentist. It had to be the drugs circulating in my head!
Well, during that bout, I did manage one binge on crackers, where I ate a whole sleeve of ritz crackers. Aside from that I have done a reasonably good (but not perfect) job of sticking to meals only, and eating high protein foods.
I did have one surprise blood sugar/dumping related reaction to a snack. I bought some no-sugar-added "Naked" juice and added it to a cup of low carb vanilla yogurt. I thought that would be a healthy treat. Well, I did not adequately look at the carb count on the juice, and I had a major sleepy reaction for the next hour!
Weight? I think I have lost 2 lbs, but the biggest benefit is that I do not have the sluggish carb-laden feeling I had been living with.
Something else I did for me--I refilled my Vitamin D prescription and started back on them, after letting that lapse for a few months. (Does it bother anyone else to pay $2.50 per pill for a vitamin??? And that is WITH insurance!)
I am on the countdown for my 4 week trip to Brazil. I will try to post to my facebook page, so if you are interested, "friend me" there...
Let me hear how you are doing. This is a safe place, whether you are doing well or not!
Joy
Topic: Checking in
I wanted to be accountable. It has been a couple of weeks since I came back. On a whole I have been successful of breaking the carb-grazing cycle. The first few days were terrible. But the cravings are much reduced.
I had a bad week last week. I went to the dentist for oral surgery a bit over a week ago. For some reason he had a hard time getting the novacaine to numb the area where he wanted to work. I've never had that problem before. He wanted to give up and send me to someone else, but I talked him into waiting and trying again and it finally worked.
I wish I'd counted the shots--I'm guessing 15-20. The work proceeded fine without pain or problems. He guessed that it might take a day for my mouth to wake up. It took an hour and a half. So, where did all that Novacaine go? I suppose into my blood stream. I felt very lightheaded and strange that day, but the odd thing was that apparently it triggered a major depression. I cried for most of 3 days. Everytime the thought came to mind "Why am I so emotional?", I would start crying again. About 4-5 days later I came out of the fog and realized that the last clarity of thought I had had was before the trip to the dentist. It had to be the drugs circulating in my head!
Well, during that bout, I did manage one binge on crackers, where I ate a whole sleeve of ritz crackers. Aside from that I have done a reasonably good (but not perfect) job of sticking to meals only, and eating high protein foods.
I did have one surprise blood sugar/dumping related reaction to a snack. I bought some no-sugar-added "Naked" juice and added it to a cup of low carb vanilla yogurt. I thought that would be a healthy treat. Well, I did not adequately look at the carb count on the juice, and I had a major sleepy reaction for the next hour!
Weight? I think I have lost 2 lbs, but the biggest benefit is that I do not have the sluggish carb-laden feeling I had been living with.
Something else I did for me--I refilled my Vitamin D prescription and started back on them, after letting that lapse for a few months. (Does it bother anyone else to pay $2.50 per pill for a vitamin??? And that is WITH insurance!)
I am on the countdown for my 4 week trip to Brazil. I will try to post to my facebook page, so if you are interested, "friend me" there...
Let me hear how you are doing. This is a safe place, whether you are doing well or not!
Joy
Post Date 5/16/09 3:51 pm
Topic: RE: New Thought-What do I do with It?
Topic: RE: New Thought-What do I do with It?
Thee is much truth here Reenie, but we must be careful not to use this as an excuse to throw in the towel. Most of us are perfectionists. If we can't diet perfectly, why try. If we slip up and eat a bite of chocolate, we give up and eat the whole cake (or bag of M&Ms). We may not be able to attain and maintain size 0 status without 100% obsession. That is reality. And that is not a price I am willing to pay. BUT, I can maintain a healthy middle of the road weight by using common sense, and breaking free of unhealthy carb addictions and binging. I can feel good, and feel good about myself. And I can focus the remaining 98% of my attention on living.
Just my take...
Joy
Post Date 5/16/09 3:44 pm
Topic: RE: Checking In Finally - LONG!!! (sorry)
It is great to see someone posting about success! We do have this amazing tool. If we will just use it! I don't know why that is so hard at times, but it certainly is. I'm so glad to see you doing so well!
Topic: RE: Checking In Finally - LONG!!! (sorry)
It is great to see someone posting about success! We do have this amazing tool. If we will just use it! I don't know why that is so hard at times, but it certainly is. I'm so glad to see you doing so well!
Post Date 5/16/09 3:31 pm
Topic: RE: surgery...
You and Bill are in my prayers. It is amazing the things that they can do today, and I am thrilled that he has this opportunity for a long and full life. I am praying for you to have peace and confidence as you wait through the uncertainties of the week, and that Bill will find strength and healing. God is good, when times are good and when times are rough.
Joy
Topic: RE: surgery...
You and Bill are in my prayers. It is amazing the things that they can do today, and I am thrilled that he has this opportunity for a long and full life. I am praying for you to have peace and confidence as you wait through the uncertainties of the week, and that Bill will find strength and healing. God is good, when times are good and when times are rough.
Joy
Post Date 5/16/09 3:28 pm
Topic: RE: Lessons From My 5 Year Old Mother
Topic: RE: Lessons From My 5 Year Old Mother
I can see how that could apply to all of us! I do find in older people (and thus, increasingly, in myself) an attitude of "I'm not going to live forever, so I may as well enjoy today." What is forgotten in that is the reduction in quality of life we may be bringing on ourselves. It is so obviously simple when someone else states it the way your mom did!
I am learning that I can't control anyone else's decisions. Heck, I can't even control mine most of the time. Loving means accepting people the way they are, not how we would have them to be. We can bring up options, but we have to hand over the choices to them, as long as they are competent to choose for themselves, even if they choose foolishly. It is SO hard to do that!
Joy
Post Date 5/5/09 4:51 am
Topic: RE: HAPPY DAY"S!!!!!!!!!!
Actually, I was looking for him to use him in my reply so I could dance with you!!!
Have another GREAT day!
Topic: RE: HAPPY DAY"S!!!!!!!!!!
Actually, I was looking for him to use him in my reply so I could dance with you!!!Have another GREAT day!
Post Date 5/4/09 6:55 pm
Topic: RE: HAPPY DAY"S!!!!!!!!!!
Fantastic! (Whatever happened to the happy dance emoticon??)
Topic: RE: HAPPY DAY"S!!!!!!!!!!
Fantastic! (Whatever happened to the happy dance emoticon??)
Post Date 5/3/09 10:53 pm
Topic: RE: Fabulous News!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I posted below before I noticed this. Isn't it amazing when we can see God working? I do believe He cares and listens to us all the time. Going to church just helps us remember that by listening to Him! I am so happy for you -- I know you have had to shoulder such a burden of stress. I can only imagine the relief you are starting to feel as the crisis subsides. That is GREAT!
Joy
Topic: RE: Fabulous News!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I posted below before I noticed this. Isn't it amazing when we can see God working? I do believe He cares and listens to us all the time. Going to church just helps us remember that by listening to Him! I am so happy for you -- I know you have had to shoulder such a burden of stress. I can only imagine the relief you are starting to feel as the crisis subsides. That is GREAT!
Joy
Post Date 5/3/09 10:48 pm
Topic: RE: O.T. Job Interview Tues!!
I'm praying that you will be exactly what they are looking for at HD. You have a lot to offer, and with that "new do" you can't go wrong! Be sure and let us know how it goes!
Joy
Topic: RE: O.T. Job Interview Tues!!
I'm praying that you will be exactly what they are looking for at HD. You have a lot to offer, and with that "new do" you can't go wrong! Be sure and let us know how it goes!
Joy
Post Date 5/3/09 10:43 pm
Topic: RE: update
Praise God for this good news! Hang in there, one day at a time. Try to be realistic about your limitations too, and take care of yourself. It sounds like this is going to take some time. Post anytime. We want to know how you are!
Blessings,
Joy
Topic: RE: update
Praise God for this good news! Hang in there, one day at a time. Try to be realistic about your limitations too, and take care of yourself. It sounds like this is going to take some time. Post anytime. We want to know how you are!
Blessings,
Joy
Post Date 5/3/09 10:39 pm
Topic: RE: Checking in
I love the way you always make me laugh, Connie. I got all caught up in your story and totally forgot that it was a reply to my post. I was surprised to find my name at the end of it!
Yes, I'd say you are a few month's late in repaying TM for his lost turkey-day. And yes, that is great protein. Unfortunately, the dressing is my favorite part though....
Thanks for the encouragement...
Joy
Topic: RE: Checking in
I love the way you always make me laugh, Connie. I got all caught up in your story and totally forgot that it was a reply to my post. I was surprised to find my name at the end of it!
Yes, I'd say you are a few month's late in repaying TM for his lost turkey-day. And yes, that is great protein. Unfortunately, the dressing is my favorite part though....
Thanks for the encouragement...
Joy
Post Date 5/2/09 4:34 pm
Topic: Checking in
I have not been perfect in my eating, but then perfection is one of my enemies.
During the last 3 days, I have completely avoided the crackers, and bread and carby snacks between meals.
I have turned to cheese and protein for snacks (and not even that much of that!)
The only sweet thing I have eaten was a pear.
I have eaten reasonably healthy meals without overstuffing.
Results:
- Finally, as of today, the constant carb cravings are noticably dropping off.
- I have not had a single dumping / coma-type episode after eating
I am feeling hope that I may yet regain some element of control.
Now, by calorie count is still too high, and my caffeine intake is still too high, but one baby step at a time, I am reclaiming my life from this addiction.
p.s. I rewarded myself by coloring my hair. (A friend had just "complemented" me on how "good" it looks since I "let it go gray"!)
If I never lose an ounce, it is worth the "sacrifice" to have freedom and feel so much better!
I hope you are doing well, my friends...
Joy
Topic: Checking in
I have not been perfect in my eating, but then perfection is one of my enemies.
During the last 3 days, I have completely avoided the crackers, and bread and carby snacks between meals.
I have turned to cheese and protein for snacks (and not even that much of that!)
The only sweet thing I have eaten was a pear.
I have eaten reasonably healthy meals without overstuffing.
Results:
- Finally, as of today, the constant carb cravings are noticably dropping off.
- I have not had a single dumping / coma-type episode after eating
I am feeling hope that I may yet regain some element of control.
Now, by calorie count is still too high, and my caffeine intake is still too high, but one baby step at a time, I am reclaiming my life from this addiction.
p.s. I rewarded myself by coloring my hair. (A friend had just "complemented" me on how "good" it looks since I "let it go gray"!)
If I never lose an ounce, it is worth the "sacrifice" to have freedom and feel so much better!
I hope you are doing well, my friends...
Joy
Post Date 5/2/09 4:23 pm
Topic: RE: update
Thank you for posting. You are still on my prayer list. No one expects you to be smiling and strong all the time. In fact that would not even be healthy. Go ahead and feel your feelings. It is OK to feel afraid, helpless, angry, exhausted, discouraged, and whatever else you may be experiencing at the time. His outcome does not depend on your show of strength right now.
God is good and loves you both very much. We may not see his work, or understand it, or even believe it, but that does not change the fact that he is working. It is at times like this that we have to cling to those that surround us. Draw strength wherever we can.
Huggs to you from Arkansas!
Joy
Topic: RE: update
Thank you for posting. You are still on my prayer list. No one expects you to be smiling and strong all the time. In fact that would not even be healthy. Go ahead and feel your feelings. It is OK to feel afraid, helpless, angry, exhausted, discouraged, and whatever else you may be experiencing at the time. His outcome does not depend on your show of strength right now.
God is good and loves you both very much. We may not see his work, or understand it, or even believe it, but that does not change the fact that he is working. It is at times like this that we have to cling to those that surround us. Draw strength wherever we can.
Huggs to you from Arkansas!
Joy
Post Date 5/1/09 12:23 pm
Topic: RE: Oprah Yesterday?
I didn't see it, but he is so right. I wish the WLS docs focused on our heads as much as our physical digestive systems. I am just beginning to accept that I have an eating disorder, not an anatomy or physiology disorder, and to discover some of the reasons and triggers.
This is not to say I regret the surgery--I just needed both!
Topic: RE: Oprah Yesterday?
I didn't see it, but he is so right. I wish the WLS docs focused on our heads as much as our physical digestive systems. I am just beginning to accept that I have an eating disorder, not an anatomy or physiology disorder, and to discover some of the reasons and triggers.
This is not to say I regret the surgery--I just needed both!
Post Date 5/1/09 5:41 am
Topic: RE: My name is Joy and I'm a food-aholic...
My Accountability Plan:
Ultimately, to lose weight, I need to go on a very low carb diet. Honestly, I'm not ready to do that yet. I am not even overly obsessed with the scales or how my clothes feel (tight, if you wonder!) I'm not ready to deal with the obvious fact that when I squat down, my knees don't want to lift me.
What I AM fighting to own and deal with NOW are two self-destructive behaviors and the resulting symptoms:
1) Overeating at meals. More is NOT better. I need to re-develop awareness of "enough" and STOP before I set off the blood sugr roller coaster that results in 1-2 hours of coma-like sleep following meals.
2) Constant grazing on crackers or other easy carbs when I awake from the coma (probably triggered because my blood sugar is extremely low from the dumping action.
The dumping coma is eroding my quality of life, and at times, like when I have to drive after eating, is actually threatening it, and anyone who is in my path.
So, no sugar, only protein between meal snacks, and reasonable meals for me today.
Thanks for the support, my friends!
Joy
Topic: RE: My name is Joy and I'm a food-aholic...
My Accountability Plan:
Ultimately, to lose weight, I need to go on a very low carb diet. Honestly, I'm not ready to do that yet. I am not even overly obsessed with the scales or how my clothes feel (tight, if you wonder!) I'm not ready to deal with the obvious fact that when I squat down, my knees don't want to lift me.
What I AM fighting to own and deal with NOW are two self-destructive behaviors and the resulting symptoms:
1) Overeating at meals. More is NOT better. I need to re-develop awareness of "enough" and STOP before I set off the blood sugr roller coaster that results in 1-2 hours of coma-like sleep following meals.
2) Constant grazing on crackers or other easy carbs when I awake from the coma (probably triggered because my blood sugar is extremely low from the dumping action.
The dumping coma is eroding my quality of life, and at times, like when I have to drive after eating, is actually threatening it, and anyone who is in my path.
So, no sugar, only protein between meal snacks, and reasonable meals for me today.
Thanks for the support, my friends!
Joy
Post Date 5/1/09 4:59 am
Topic: RE: Prayers needed...
Kim,
I am taking you and your beloved to the throne of God. Whatever you face, He will be with you and willl carry you through it. I am praying for healing and comfort and a sense of God's presence with your family.
Joy
Topic: RE: Prayers needed...
Kim,
I am taking you and your beloved to the throne of God. Whatever you face, He will be with you and willl carry you through it. I am praying for healing and comfort and a sense of God's presence with your family.
Joy
Post Date 4/30/09 9:56 am
Topic: RE: Hey There
Yeah. I decided to come out of hiding. I figured if I could put my pic up on facebook, I could do it here! LOL!
Topic: RE: Hey There
Yeah. I decided to come out of hiding. I figured if I could put my pic up on facebook, I could do it here! LOL!
Post Date 4/30/09 9:52 am
Topic: My name is Joy and I'm a food-aholic...
OK... My food addiction, and specifically my carb addictions are out of control. I have been in denial, foolishly believing that the WLS would put a ceiling on my weight, and refusing to weigh. I can't stop grazing. And I can't stop eating at meals until I am so full I am sick. At least once a day, and often twice I have to sleep off a drop in blood sugar caused by dumping caused by overeating. And yet I still do it.... Why???
Maybe I want to believe I am "Normal" and can enjoy cleaning my plate? Maybe there are stresses and holes in my self-esteem that I am trying to fill with food? I don't know, but I do know that if the definition of insanity is to repeat the same behaviors expecing different results, then I am INSANE.
I believe it is truly an addiction. I start eating to enjoy the taste, then I am not able to stop. I find my self eating automatically, without even realizing it. I constantly think about food. My drug of choice is Ritz crackers, but I can easily substitute bread or sweets for that. If I open a sleeve of crackers, the whole thing is gone in minutes.
Truth met me this morning. I got up the courage to step on the scales and realized that I have gained another 10 lbs over the last 3 months. Granted, it has been a tough 3 months. I have been actually confronting and dealing with my co-dependency for the first time. But, what in the world makes me thing that gaining 10 lbs, and living in a coma, is going to help? Actually, I think truth began to catch up with me when I drove home from my daughters the other evening (about 60 miles), after dinner, and was so sleepy, I dozed and swerved on the highway 3 times.
Sorry to have stayed away. Obviously it was not about you all--it was about me. I thought I was moving on. In many ways, I have. But in other ways, I am cycling back and starting over.
I want my life back. As of yesterday, I shut down the grazing. Dan has also gained 10 lbs. We are making efforts to eat healthier meals (lower carb/ smaller portions). I am STARVING (at least emotionally). Trying to stuff cheese in my mouth when I am about to cave in.
I'm planning 4 weeks in Brazil again in June. Last time we were so busy that we did not have time to eat much. This time my travel partner is a chocoholic--I'm sure that will bring more temptation. But I have to accept responsibility for my choices. I know I have done this well in the past, I just am not finding the inner strength to make an unemotional commitment at this point. Frankly I am angry at having to.
So there.... I said it. I know that you, my friends, can understand better than anyone in this world!
Thanks for sticking around when I bailed!
Joy
Topic: My name is Joy and I'm a food-aholic...
OK... My food addiction, and specifically my carb addictions are out of control. I have been in denial, foolishly believing that the WLS would put a ceiling on my weight, and refusing to weigh. I can't stop grazing. And I can't stop eating at meals until I am so full I am sick. At least once a day, and often twice I have to sleep off a drop in blood sugar caused by dumping caused by overeating. And yet I still do it.... Why???
Maybe I want to believe I am "Normal" and can enjoy cleaning my plate? Maybe there are stresses and holes in my self-esteem that I am trying to fill with food? I don't know, but I do know that if the definition of insanity is to repeat the same behaviors expecing different results, then I am INSANE.
I believe it is truly an addiction. I start eating to enjoy the taste, then I am not able to stop. I find my self eating automatically, without even realizing it. I constantly think about food. My drug of choice is Ritz crackers, but I can easily substitute bread or sweets for that. If I open a sleeve of crackers, the whole thing is gone in minutes.
Truth met me this morning. I got up the courage to step on the scales and realized that I have gained another 10 lbs over the last 3 months. Granted, it has been a tough 3 months. I have been actually confronting and dealing with my co-dependency for the first time. But, what in the world makes me thing that gaining 10 lbs, and living in a coma, is going to help? Actually, I think truth began to catch up with me when I drove home from my daughters the other evening (about 60 miles), after dinner, and was so sleepy, I dozed and swerved on the highway 3 times.
Sorry to have stayed away. Obviously it was not about you all--it was about me. I thought I was moving on. In many ways, I have. But in other ways, I am cycling back and starting over.
I want my life back. As of yesterday, I shut down the grazing. Dan has also gained 10 lbs. We are making efforts to eat healthier meals (lower carb/ smaller portions). I am STARVING (at least emotionally). Trying to stuff cheese in my mouth when I am about to cave in.
I'm planning 4 weeks in Brazil again in June. Last time we were so busy that we did not have time to eat much. This time my travel partner is a chocoholic--I'm sure that will bring more temptation. But I have to accept responsibility for my choices. I know I have done this well in the past, I just am not finding the inner strength to make an unemotional commitment at this point. Frankly I am angry at having to.
So there.... I said it. I know that you, my friends, can understand better than anyone in this world!
Thanks for sticking around when I bailed!
Joy
Post Date 4/30/09 9:25 am
Topic: RE: Hi Everyone :)
Hey there!
Sorry the ticks are attacking you. Wow! its hard to believe you have a 2 year old! Where does the time go? It is good to see you still here posting!
Joy
Topic: RE: Hi Everyone :)
Hey there!
Sorry the ticks are attacking you. Wow! its hard to believe you have a 2 year old! Where does the time go? It is good to see you still here posting!
Joy
