Every day it seems I hear of another friend who is suffering with wicked cross addiction as a Post-op.  Yesterday I lost a friend who had her surgery very close to me.  Our addiction to food is a real addiction, that would have killed us if we hadn't taken the measures we did.But it doesn't go away ever, and can only be kept at bay through support and a program of recovery.  I'm not the cheerleader for this surgery that I once was but its not the surgery's fault. It is just one tool in our arsenel that makes a long healthy life possible. 

Does anyone here relate? How are my fellow April Fools doing?  Have you experienced this - either personally or someone you love?  No judgement, just honest fear and hope for health and wholeness for all my friends.  
There but for the grace of god go I. 

 I am still 75 lbs lighter now, I don't do diet food, but I stick to protein first then vegges and bread if room rule.. Vitamins are ok except the calcium is the hardest I agree.  It is still the decision I ever made..no regrets here..Lynne

It's year 5 for me and I lost a total of 135 pounds but have sinced gained back 30 from my lowest point (which was indeed way too low, according to my doctor).  I would like to lose maybe 15 pounds, which would put me at a level that the doctor wanted me to maintain at.

Thanks for the info on the 5 day pouch test.  I've just ordered this and I do hope this will help me get back control of my pouch and get my diet back on track.  I don't like the way I feel at this point and most certainly do not want to gain any more weight.  Nuh uh - ain't gonna go back there.

You may need to try a different med or a higher dose.  Also, my doctor checked my Vitimin D which contributes to depression, it was very low, now I'm taking 6000 mg per day.  Get a new psychitrist if this ones not willing to up your meds or change them. 

I had my surgery April 2004.Currently depressed taking Meds but don't seem to be working. Sometimes I just pass my meds without absorbing them. Went to my doctor and she told me there was nothing she could do, that I would have to go back to my surgeon regarding absorbtion problem. Now I have been referred to my primary....... Can anyone Relate? or have any sugestions.

I start out good, turkey for breakfast and low fat taco chips.

A salad for lunch with low fat dressing. 

I try and bring two healthy snack to work, but sometimes if I'm having a bad day I go to the vending machine. 

It gets worse as the day wears on.  I've been buying crappy food, like ****a, sara lee, etc.  I'm starving at night and get up and eat in the middle of the night. 

I can relate to that. 

Wow, I can't believe it has been 5 years already! It's great to see familiar faces out here. I started at 346 and am now right around 160. Happy about that? Not really. I was down to 135, but at 5'10", everyone convinced me I was too thin. It's really strange. At home, looking at myself in mirrors, I am HUGE! But out in public at stores, I double take when I see myself.

I lost my Dad in Jan of this year, and have packed on about 15 lbs since then. Permanently quit smoking in March, and here I hover at 160. Still have troubles finding foods that agree with me. I am so frustrated with not feeling normal--even the adjusted post op normal. I am so terrifed to ever be obese again.

I'm here! Better late than never? Just had my 5 year surgiversary on 4/20. Up 15lbs from lowest. In a 10/12 depending on the cut. Healthy and happy.

I updated my profile with current pics and more info. Here is what I posted on the cali board

"I had my 5 year surgirversary on April 29. I feel good. Am maintaining around 155lbs over the last year, and still greatful for my surgery. I updated my profile with more info and pics.

Is there a way to have OH change your before and afters? I want to make sure mine is a accurate as possible. 1year after and 5 year after aren't quite the same.

Best wishes to all,
Rachel'

Hiya Donna -

The docs actually linked your vite state to the seizures?

My doc won't even consider the seizures to be linked to the state of my nutrition or the RNY.  He says it's just coincidental.  :/  I have a list of 52 people so far... coincidental?

Hello,
I was 342 when I started, got down to 125, which was too skinny, now I'm back up to 172.  I'd be happy at 155.  I have been trying to do weigh****chers with no success.  My body seems to like this weight.

Dianne

Stop lurking, and post a shoutout to all your April 2004 friends!

As for me - April 1st saw me 2lbs lower than my "favorite" goal weight. Slow steady work and ongoing vigilance have brought this into being. Not one step of this process was easy and it has been totally worth it.  

I keep to my pouch rules, do my best to get protein, and strive to get my vitamins (calcium is still a struggle to get all daily doses in).

Sending love, support, and positive energy to all my April fools! 5 years of work, a lifetime of hopeful possibility,
~Lara

Dear Fellow April 04 friend,

The stress of my failing marriage and failing spine helped me to regain 40lbs in 07.  It SUCKED.  All of my clothing stopped fitting, and it fed into the depression and malaise of my cir****tances. . .and it wasn't pretty.  

I stopped hating myself for regain, and blaming myself for it as well - that was an important first step.  And just like you said - back to basics - even if it seems harder than before, it will eventually fall right back off.  I'm back at goal finally, and am so grateful for this tool.  

*big hugs and support*  No judgement here, just understanding from someone who's been there.  You can do this.  You've done amazing things in the past - you're starting from a history of huge success, and it will continue.  

Please keep us posted on your continuing journey.  You'll find love and support here for you if you keep reaching out.

With love, respect, and understanding,
~Lara

Is there anybody out there that has gained and feels out of control?
I started my weight loss journey at 325.  Got down to 189  at the end of 2005.
Within the last two years I have gain back 48 lbs.  I tell myself to go back to the basics.
But I find it so hard.  Is it just me or is anyone else experiencing this?

Hi Mechelle, I hope you don't mind my contacting you, I'm from the March 2004 board and I'm "board hopping" trying to get some help - I lost over 215 lbs. with my original surgery but am now struggling mightily, having gained back 15 lbs. I saw this post of yours and just wanted to know how you're doing and if you were able to get back to basics and regain control of your eating issues - how are you doing? I'd love to chat. I'm in real trouble with the food. Thanks. Maureen

Hiya girls.

I am so glad to see you posting. 

I'm 'okay.' 

I'm doing good in the weight loss department, I'm at my lowest post op weight.    But, I had a regain.  55 lbs.  WHOA.  There was a baby in there too.  She's two now.

But, I attribute that re-loss  'success' to the epilepsy drugs.  Woot.  I developed a seizure disorder at some point post-op, and it's gotten worse.  I am trying to find a diagnosis, and all I am finding are other RNY'ers with the same sort of problem.  ANYWAY.

KEEP posting.  We need each other.  There is a noticeable lack of longer-term post ops around.

Here's my reply to this month's poll:

1. A goal you have for yourself for this month - and thanksgiving season.
I want to bring low glycemically impacting pies to the family thanksgivings I'll be attending - to show my beloved people how delicious a healthy dessert can be.

I also want to get back into a regular cardio workout - aqua jogging in a warm pool is what I want to do!

2. A positive thing about yourself, your life, or your support network.
I am continuing to slowly lose the bounce weight I had put on during the difficult year of my marriage  A smileygram of the divorce process:

 
  .
  I'm down to 207 and am so very grateful for this tool.  Even when my meds make me nauseated, or my meds give me a vast hunger, I'm able to get the right nutrition for my body. 

3. Something you're grateful for
My kitty cat (where's the cat smiley?)- he's been a dear. I'm also grateful that I've been coming out of my depression/grieving process.  I'm starting to feel better emotionally, and I'm starting to draw positive people to me.  I'm hopeful that I'll keep meeting new people, and perhaps even start dating in the not too distant future.

4. What we can do to help you out this month
The best gift for me would be just to have everyone *****ads this, to please take a few moments and make some kind of reply.  Supporting each other is essential, and we're all in this together.  I'm praying for all of you - to conventional and nonconventional deities.

With love and respect to all,
~Lara
Lap RNY 4-1-04

Hello Dianne!

I hope that this reply finds you feeling healthier every day.  We long timers gotta stick together, and keep supporting each other. 

With love and respect,
~Lara

I'm going to try to remember to keep coming back, and posting at least one post a month for people to update . . .unless this place starts hopping again like back in the day.  ;)

Hello there!

You only gained 20lbs. You're not a failure. We're both maintaing a remarkable loss. The more I value myself, the more the bounce dripps off. Granted - now 1lb a month is "amazing remarkable loss" instead of the several dozen lbs a month like the early days of this wls journey.

For me, I knew that Carbs were my problem. Getting back to the basics of Protein Protein Protein helped me have a longer sense of fullness. Protein in, no room for the extra carbs that were helping me to regain.

I'm sending positive energy your way. And - we're always here to listen.
~Lara

Hello my beloved April 2004 fools! 

My last 2 posts were started in sadness.  This post does NOT make 3. Time is working its magic and trying to heal my heart's wounds.  I still think of my mom every single day and miss her.  And I'm trying to sift through all my feelings about my former marriage - to separate them from the feelings I have about my former wife. 

One thing I want to post - I re-read my posts and I wasn't owning the fact that I had regained 40lbs from my very lowest.  14 of them 100% authorized because I looked like a starvation victim at 184, the rest a product of the poor eating choices that I was using as a crutch during the dark times of my marriage.  My favorite weight is 198.  Currently I am at 208.  208 is a weight I feel very comfortable at - at 6' 2.5" I feel svelt and willowy again (thank the gods).  I can't wear my old 38s anymore.  And the 16s are falling off again.  *phew!*  If I ever got all this skin off I am certain even at this weight I'd be a 10/12, and since I have no plans to do so - I'm just happy to be back in the weight range that doesn't make me feel like a failure.  228 had me feeling pretty down in the few moments I admitted to myself that the scale said such a horrifying number.  If I don't re-lose a single lb I'll be satisfied with staying right here. 

My back continues to be a debilitating pain in the a$$.  I'm persuing Social Security and am waiting to get my court date with the Judge.  It sucks.  I'm paying for all my healthcare out of pocket for the time being which is chewing through my savings and Long Term Disability.  Even on disability I was always the primary earner in my marriage - so even if "half" of the "earning team" left, I'm coming out about even in the wash being on my own.  I kept the apt and have been sifting through the rubble of my belongings - shedding dumpsters-full of broken and undesirable things.  I am praying that eventually the wheelchair lift designers will figure out how to get a wheelchair/scooter lifted and stored in my type of car - until then School isn't realistic.  Eventually Grad School is still my plan down the road.  

Choosing not to use food as a coping mechanism is still a moment-by-moment choice.  I'm so very thankful for this tool, and my stregnth 4.5 years ago to take this huge leap of faith.  One moment at a time, one day at a time, I'm learning how to love myself - no matter the cir****tances.  

Please take a moment - even if just to say hi - to post a reply with a tiny blurb of how you're doing.  4.5 years out, and we're all still in this together.  

With love and respect to all on this journey, 
~Lara
4/1/04 

Thank you very much Denise.


Time heals right?  I've been giving myself time and space just to grieve.  Between losing mom and my marriage crumbling it's been a banner year.  *Sigh*

My decision to adopt a cat was one of my best brainchildren ever.  Butters is the light of my life, and I knew my marriage was over when I'd rather scoop another lifeforms crap than deal with my ex-wife's.  My friends have been amazing.  I've lost the bounce lbs that the stress of living with her added to my frame.  My eating has improved again, and I'm feeling well - even if in pain from my back. 

I'm still all me - and I continue to survive and I'm working on thriving.  Is it weird that I'm kind of excited to see what dating and meeting people is like at my current weight?  I've not really put myself out there just yet - I'm still a bit too emotionally fragile. In its proper time, I'll find out. 

Wishing you well,
~Lara

Hello there all my April 04 peeps!

I've heard from me lately, and I said to tell everyone that I'm doing alright. Summer came and went with lots of time spent with family and getting to know my new sweet baby - Butters the wonder cat. After losing 220lbs of dead weight this January *ahem* I'm happy to report that I've also lost my bounce weight and am back down to "comfortable" . . .I'm about 8lbs from my favorite weight of 198, but very very happy to be down 20lbs.

My back is a jerk, but I'm surviving. I'm deep into the Social Security waiting game - thank god for Long Term Disability. My friends have been an amazing support system for me. I'm very grateful that the 1 year anniversary of my mother's passing has come and gone. I look forward to the 1 year anniversary of my split from my wife. I wish we could get divorced. . .but there's no legal recourse for us at this time. I'd really like it to be "done" but what is one to do?

With my back pain I have a nearly constant state of nausea that my acupuncturist is helping me address. The treatment gives me a healthy appetite and I'm extra careful to ensure I'm getting good calories in. I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but one day at a time right?

Love to all those who struggle to do what's healthy,
and to all the rest of us humans too!
~Lara
Lap RNY 4-1-04

I did loose to much for a while, was down to 120, but now I'm up to 160.  I had gained back to 155 before the Lithium.  I only take 50 mg of topamax, more than that and I get really forgetful.  I'm sorry to hear about the seizures.  I hope the medication is working for you. 

Dianne

Thanks, I take topamax to, for migraines.  It has no effect on my appetite as far as I can tell. 

I hope you are well also.

Dianne

Dianne...

I'm on Topamax and it shuts down appetite, well... it is an off label use.  My brain can push through it.

I hope you are well.