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    Allie A.
    Canada
    Member Since: 12/05/11
    [Latest Posts]
    Post Date: 1/2/12 12:27 am
    I'm going to have my surgery in Seattle. I'm 25 and I don't drive, so I had planned to have my boyfriend take me there for the procedure. My mother tells me she wants to go with me for the surgery, and I guess stay in Seattle a couple days. I really would prefer her not to be there. So far she's been rather negative about my decision. She pretends to be supportive, but is a really bad faker. It seems like she's trying to freak me out about going under the knife. I've even overheard conversations she's had with her boyfriend, about how she thinks I should be spending my money instead. She's a cow, and I've come to terms with it. But how do I tell her no without offending her. If I do offend her, that's then the claws come out, and it becomes a verbal brawl. I don't know if I can take more of her criticism. 
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    Momx4kids
    Abbotsford, Canada
    RNY (05/16/11)
    Member Since: 03/22/11
    [Latest Posts]
    Post Date: 1/3/12 11:41 am
    Last Edit: 1/3/12 11:43 am
    You might need to stop talking to your mom about your surgery/decision. I know for me, my mom was trying to talk me out of it because she was concerned (so she said), but it came across as unsupportive/negative. I told my mom that I would let her know if I needed her help in anyway thank-you very much, and I kept the details of my plans for surgery day vague to her (didn't even let her know what hotel we stayed in). Turns out now after my surgery she has been very supportive. I think all the negative stuff she was saying was from an 'uneducated about the surgery' point of view.
    Rhonda

    Hang in there and remember this surgery is for you and is your decision, no one elses!
        
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    momjan
    Member Since: 04/20/10
    [Latest Posts]
    Post Date: 1/22/12 2:21 pm
    My mother still doesn`t know about my surgery as she would gossip to every neighbour around, her chiro, pharmacists, the garbage men, etc.  She just is amazed at my changed eating habits and I let her believe that Ě`ve just changed my habits (well, I have.....)

    As for Seattle, I had my surgery there.  I flew down, taxi`d to the hospital, checked in and was on the table a couple of hours later.  When I was ready, I taxi`d to the plane and flew home.  I dědn`t want or need anyone hanging around my room yakking while I was recovering.  I wanted to sleep, walk, relax, shower. 

    You can always tell her that there is nothing for her to do for you while you are there and the extra time by yourself will give you a better chance to recover quickly.  By the way, if you are at Virginia Mason, they are great.  But then, everyone feels their surgeon and facility is the best!!!

    Take care; you will be in fine hands!
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