ObesityHelp

One thing that actually surprised me is the number of people I know who have lost tons of weight but join in the cruel group once they are thing.  Not all by any means, but several.  I had always expected that those who have "been there" would understand but I have found that isn't always the case.  I don't know if it's kind of like a way to prove that you belong in the thin group or what, but could make a fascinating psychological study. 

It's not that surprising to me - it's quite common for abused children to grow up to be abusers, when the power shift occurs. Not all, of course - but many abusers were abused themselves, and they swing too far to the other side......as payback? Protection? Or it's all they know.

--BT

I've been to those BBW parties and it's all about sex. I'm not about that, i'm looking for a partner, not just sex. So I don't bother. Alot of what you've said is beyond true! Men don't look at me when i walk into a room. I'm one of those, 'nice face' girls. i always wonder why anyone woulld want to date me. I've got wonderful qualities, but... that's where it ends. not body confident at all. women have it worse and always will have it worse. just look at the fashion industry. our actresses, magazine covers etc. it's destroying our selfworth and creating a society of eating disorders. creating ideal images that can only be met by starvation, unneccesary plastic surgery and air brushing photos. reminds me of the people who have ribs removed to have smaller waists. we'll always have it harder to live up to barbie doll images.

I was thinking about this more last night and wonder if part of what MJo was getting at is this: Let's consider all things equal between a particular man and a certain woman. Same BMI, background, difficulties. They encounter the same situation where they are mistreated or rejected because of their weight. Does the woman suffer more because her idenity and sense of worth is based more on how others view her and on her perception of beauty is intrinsicially tied to sense of self...where for a man, this might just be a mere facet of who he is and not a core part of his idenity. So, it's not just are women judged more harshly, but when a man and woman recieve equal judgement regarding weight will the woman internalize it more negatively than a man? If anyone is interested, we've been discussing this over in the RNY forum too and MaryJo from the show BigMedicine has actually posted. How cool is that?!