ObesityHelp

At about this time two years ago MsCalulator was on my mobile telling me that everything would be fine while I waddled over a train line towards a cinema in Greenwich with David trotting ahead.  I had eaten three courses of beautiful Vietnamese food prior like I was heading for the gallows.  I was trying to keep busy so that my fear of dying didn't stay etched on my face.  My dear sweet boyfriend was almost hyperventilating with fear but did his best to be still around me.

I had to be up and heading to the Hospital at 6am.  I washed in the Hibiscrub from head to toe and dug about in my cavernous belly button with a cotton bud to make sure nothing had started growing there in the last year. I was purposeful and decided to meet it all head on.  **** it! May as well!

My surgery was long and very complicated. I was under for 11.5hrs during which time I gas trapped and shot my laproscopic ports about the theater needing to have them sutured in place to stop the anesthetist from losing an eye.  My spleen was damaged and my already ****** up clotting factors were doing their best to make me bleed to death.  To add insult to injury Mr Patel had developed swine flu mid way through my surgery, the worst weather in a 150 years had hit London and everything had ground to a halt.  It was the perfect storm of weird ******y....really what else could I expect?

I have no memory at all of the first two days except for waking up screaming with pain and then getting so stoned on the fentanyl they gave me that I made a pass at my surgeon and put my hand in his pocket and stole his mobile in ultra slow motion like a sloth on rewind.  The rest...nadah!

David was beside himself and thought I was dying the whole time. It utterly broke my heart when I finally knew my arse from my elbow.  The poor man was alone in London living in fear at the scaring sick looking creature that is his life partner.

Recovery from my Ds would have been easier if I could read, write and concentrate longer than 3 seconds. I was impaired due to drug toxicity and likely an inter-operative stroke(albeit a very small one). It took three months to get back to normal.  I was just like the acid excreting alien and felt as if I could dissolve my floor boards every time I opened my mouth.  I was in all intents and purposes Karen Carpenter for two months, spewing and ****ting like an industrial sprinkler system. I was the Queen of keytosis and became a human concave.  

I have now hit my amazing groove.  I am still a dickhead and eat what ever I feel like even if I know it will make me **** through the eye of a needle for the next 24hrs. I have leveled out at  140lbs and here I stay....no matter how many Percy pigs I eat.

So the whoring then.....


This was taken a couple of months before surgery.  I remember the pain I was in the entire time.  I made an excuse after 20mins of walking to go back to the car and wheezed and puffed the whole time.



I found this photo in the back of a weight loss journal.  It was the only picture I kept of my as a fat woman from when I was married.  I sat for a very long time looking at her and feeling a terrible sense of my own embarrassment at myself and the fear that went everywhere with me. I remembered the abuse I endured from strangers, I remembered being totally ignored by men and stared at as a cautionary tale by women. Mothers would tell their children in shopping centers they didn't know why the lady was so fat and to be quiet.  David sat looking at this image before scanning it for me and said "I just can't reconcile this to being you".



And now the skinny glee parade. I take a size 6-8 US sizes. I have a flat arse and titties that hang down to my knees. By belly is a puddle of wrinkled old skin with nothing to pad it out and my arms are impressive wadges of bingo wings.  I couldn't be happier with myself.

I owe this effortless weight loss to the magnificent DS. I have never been successful at anything in my life as far as sustained weight loss goes. I eat like a pig and I live like a Queen. I lose weight if I stop being a glutton....I never seem to put any weight on.  I of course can expect this to peter out soon but for now I am feeling like Wonder Woman. I will hit 40 this year being the slimmest I've ever been in my life. Thank you DS!








Sending you my community all my love. You have given me everything to aim for and encouraged me every single step of the way. I salute you!  I wish this place was still condusive to community spirit but alas it is not and I've moved to the pro-boards site. Feel free to come and hang out with the bad kids. xxx