Personality change with Lapband vs. gastric bypass?

Cheryl N.
on 9/8/09 2:02 pm - Des Moines, WA
I'm just wondering and observing....

Do you experience rapid personality change after your lapband?    

Just in my opinion, we all do regardless of which WLS we had...

I feel that my personality has remained pretty much the same, altho slowly gaining self-confidence, and feeling happier and not boasting so much.

I know this person who had bypass and her personality had changed so much and rapidly, not so nice anymore, and has alienated friends including myself.  

Since lapband, we lose at slower rate so we change slowly...and with gastric bypass, its a rapid loss and their personality changed so much.  Just my observation.

What brought this on, you ask?  I was talking to this guy friend whose roommate had gastric bypass and he doesn't really like her much anymore and the fact she passes so much horrid gas.  He actually said he was glad that I had the lapband!! LOL  He said that my personality hasn't changed that much just much more happier and more confident and talkative.   But I do have to say that my depression/anxiety hasn't changed much in other areas of my life but I do feel much much better about my weight loss and has regained hope of losing weight since getting band.  Yes, I am going to therapy about my depression and anxiety about the events that had happened earlier this year and having difficulty adjusting to but getting there.

Thoughts? 

246 in Dec 2008 before banded 1/28/09 at 215 lbs, band crapped 9/09 at 170 lbs and struggled with it and regained to 203 revised to bypass on 8/1/11 and am very happy.

 

    
Katie L.
on 9/8/09 2:06 pm - Riverton, WY

I'm a lot happier in general, and I'm standing up for myself more instead of being a pushover. One family member said I was ****y and I looked at her and said, no, just confident and you just don't like that you can't run over me anymore.

Just like my job, my boss has beaten me down emotionally for 2 years. I've had it. I quit my job. I gave my two weeks notice on Thursday. My husband was SO proud of me! I've always been outgoing but I've never stood up for myself much. Now I am, and it feels so good. I guess I feel that much better physically and emotionally.

This is a Great topic Cheryl!


~*~Katie~*~







Cheryl N.
on 9/8/09 2:08 pm - Des Moines, WA
I should add, this said friend has became so arrogrant that we can't stand this person any longer.

246 in Dec 2008 before banded 1/28/09 at 215 lbs, band crapped 9/09 at 170 lbs and struggled with it and regained to 203 revised to bypass on 8/1/11 and am very happy.

 

    
PameW
on 9/8/09 2:14 pm
I would have to say that as my confidence goes up so does the friendliness factor. I've always been a talker, so nothing has changed in that department, but I have had people say that I'm more friendly and easier to talk to and approach.

To answer your question about personality changes, I have spoken to my counselor about it, because I have had some people make negative comments like, "you are not the same person you once were." I've deducted that those are the toxic people in my life that were bringing me down and that I let walk all over me prior to surgery. Now that my backbone is getting stiffer and I am speaking up for myself, those that once pushed me around don't like it too much!
Katie L.
on 9/8/09 2:12 pm, edited 9/8/09 2:32 pm - Riverton, WY
Wow...I haven't experienced anyone like that, and I don't think I've been that way. Like I said, my biggest improvement has been me standing up for myself. That's been a big deal for me.

**Just to clarify:The above was meant as a reply to Cheryl's post above, in that she said her friend is intolerable. I was saying I haven't known anyone like that after WLS.

~*~Katie~*~







grandbaychick
on 9/8/09 2:22 pm - Grand Bay, AL

I had a friend in HS that was pretty heavy.  She had some kind of "female" problems and had to have surgery.  Well, while she was in the hospital she lost a lot of weight.  Probably about 20 lbs or so.  Anyways, her weight loss made her feel so good that she started starving herself until she probably lost around 80 lbs or more.  Her attitude totally did a 180.  She went from sweet and funny to mean and obnoxious...it was crazy!  I vowed that if I'd ever lose weight that I'd never act like her and I hope I never do.  I've only lost 24 lbs so far and as far as I can tell, I'm still me! 

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t… You’re right.”  - Henry Ford
Height-5'10 Heaviest-335 Weight at surgery-315 Goal 199 


Jean M.
on 9/8/09 2:28 pm
Revision on 08/16/12 with
Cheryl,

I don't think my basic personality has changed much.  I'm still a control freak introvert intellectual and I can't change anything about traumatic past events that affected my formation, but I do feel differently about myself now, and that probably affects how I interact with other people.

Very rapid weight loss has got to have some effect on a person, but I have to wonder if your friend doesn't like his roommate now for reasons related to him, not her.  Maybe she's more confident and assertive now, and their household roles are changing in a way that's uncomfortable for him?  A roommate relationship is kind of like a marriage - if you're not one of the partners, you really can't know what's going on in there.

If the gas-passing bothers him so much, he needs to have a chat with his roommate about it.  The OH magazine advertises products that deal with this problem (can't think of the name).  Not a fun conversation to have - I have had to "counsel" employees who needed to bathe more often and use deodorant - but if he doesn't tell her what's bothering him, nothing's going to improve.

Jean

Jean McMillan c.2009-2013 - Always a bandster at heart
author of Bandwagon (TM), Strategies for Success  with the Adjustable Gastric Band & Bandwagon Cookery. Bandwagon for Kindle now available on Amazon.  Read my blog at: jean-onthebandwagon.blogspot.com 

   

 

 

 

FlabToFab
on 9/8/09 2:45 pm - Chino Hills, CA
Cheryl-

I think that everyone has the capability of going from sweet to sour in 2.5 seconds. 

I will tell you that I have had a similar experience with one of my "best friends" who had gastric bypass surgery...

We were literally best buds... she was in my wedding, we did everything together.  She was always so sweet and funny, generous and caring.  Called me all the time, and I called her.  I went to her support group meetings and took her to her surgery and went to see her every day while she healed.  Etc etc. 

Fast forward 7 months.  She lost about 90 pounds and dropped me like a hot potato.  Stopped returning my calls, stopped Emailing, stopped inviting me places.  I was not a bad influence or anything of the sort... she just abandoned me.  I tried to make an effort to reconcile, but then she started making an effort to pit our mutual friends AGAINST me by making up stories about how mean I was!!  So that was the final straw.

Many of our mutual friends told me that they can't even stand to associate with her anymore.  She just turned into a "rude *****"  I seriously have no idea what happened... she used to be so nice!  It makes no sense at all.

Mandy- 6.5cc (10cc band) 
87 Pounds To Go!  304/257/170
Hermosa L
on 9/8/09 3:41 pm
Lap Band on 03/10/09 with
I had a friend who had a bypass..she didn't tell me about it and we were suppose to be best friends. We were friends for years we spend thanksgiving and christmas together.. she was like family .. we went to mexico on vacation I came back and found out a day later she stayed and had the surgery.. she suffered liver complications because of it.. and ended up staying in Mexico for an extented period of time (with her family while she recovered)

I was heart broken she didn't tell me then she got sick and when i asked her family they were so rude to me...she came back and tried to talk to me but i was over it.. if we weren't at the part in our friendship were she could tell me about the surgery (she believed i would be jealous or run out and do it myself) then we were never going to be friends the way we should be encouraging and loving.. so I cut her out of my life.. I do on occasion email her to check in on her mother (elderly and not doing so well)

She had her surgery years ago... and I never wanted gastric.. so when lap band came available on my insurance I opted for that.. I needed a tool to help lose the weight... and now I have it.

I don't know if she has changed.... but i know I have.. I used to be shy and hide in the shadows and I'm not anymore.. even before my surgery.. When we weref riend she dominated everything and when she was gone.. I learned to fend for myself LOL.. and now with the surgery I'm more confident and no so worried about my weight all the time...

Jean M.
on 9/8/09 4:32 pm
Revision on 08/16/12 with
After reading the interesting responses to this interesting post, I have to say again that I don't think the WLS procedure (bypass vs. band vs. whatever) has anything to do with the changes people experience after WLS.  These people are experiencing major changes in their bodies, hormones, lifestyles, attitudes, you name it.  Some people can withstand that kind of upheaval and maintain all their personal relationships, some people cannot.  If you are one of the people that got left in the rubble after a friend's WLS, try not to take it personnally - it's probably more about them than it is about you.  And keep that in mind as you deal with other people while your own body, hormones, lifestyle, and attitudes change.  People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.  I say that as someone who has caught herself judging other people and stopped just on the brink of being an asshole (and maybe haven't stopped myself soon enough from time to time).

If you really care about the person, you'll roll with the punches.  If you don't care so much, or their behavior is downright abusive, move on.

Jean

Jean McMillan c.2009-2013 - Always a bandster at heart
author of Bandwagon (TM), Strategies for Success  with the Adjustable Gastric Band & Bandwagon Cookery. Bandwagon for Kindle now available on Amazon.  Read my blog at: jean-onthebandwagon.blogspot.com