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| Author | Message |
 Marion, NC Member Since: 11/02/05 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/15/06 8:37 am Hi all...I am upset with my sister... she's not supportive at all. I went to my education class last night and my mom went with me. My mom was a little worried about the whole thing cause she didn't know anything about it. Now she does and she is more supportive. My mom and my sister don't have weight problems like I do ...they may want to lose 10-20 pounds every now and again but that's the extent of it. I need to lose about 175lbs. Now how does that compare to 20????? My sister tells me that these doctors and nurses and all these people don't care about me at all they just want their money. I know they want to get paid... I do too... but they have to care a little bit to want to see me more than just one time after the surgery......... I don't even want to talk to my sister about it anymore... she tells me that I should just walk and eat right...she just doesn't understand. She doesn't have the PCOS and all the extra weight and she's not been heavy her entire life. I don't know how to talk to her about it. Can anyone give me a way to approach her with this?? It makes me sad cause it seems like she just won't support me. I am ready to make this change. I am ready to do this!! She tells me that maybe they should let more mature people have this done because I don't want to talk to her about it. She doesn't live with me she doesn't know how I eat and the things I do to try and help my weight problem. How can I help her understand... I don't want to shut her out but she's nothing but negative when it comes to this. Sorry to ramble on.....but this isn't the first time I've been upset with her over this. |
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 Huntersville, NC Member Since: 10/28/05 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/15/06 8:56 am Think shes feeling a little threatened and jealous. Her place as the "thin one" is now up for grabs. Who will she be now? Just a thought.....
Gail |
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Marion, NC Member Since: 11/02/05 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/15/06 9:13 am Hmmmm... I never thought of that... Seems reasonable. I think it has a lot to do with her being the oldest and trying to control my life and what I do cause when I was like 3 or 4 she would answer questions for me and apparently she thinks she still needs to do that.....Very irritating..... Thanks though I appreciate the input  |
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 Kernersville, NC Member Since: 03/15/05 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/15/06 9:21 am Hi Sarah,
You have my support. My mom and dad were my biggest supporters. By the way, they live near you....Newland/pinola area. Want their support? LOL They think the surgery is wonderful. I never felt like my surgeon and dietician just wanted my money...they really care, especially the psycologist.
Where are you having the surgery?
Hope it gets better...just remember..this is about and for YOU!!
Get your support from this site if you cant get it anywhere else. We are for you!!
Best Wishes and keep up informed.
Susan |
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Marion, NC Member Since: 11/02/05 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/15/06 9:52 am Thanks Susan!!! I do gt a lot of support here... This is the best thing I think I could have found to help me out with my journey. I am having the surgery done in Hickory with Dr. Cook or Dr. Cox whichever they sign me up with. I haven't felt like they just wanted my money either. But anyway I hope it gets better too!!!!! Thanks again for the support! I really really appreciate it  |
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 Wadsworth, OH Member Since: 05/17/05 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 4/26/06 12:51 pm Barb i am gonna second that God do i miss my mom too i think she would have been very supportive she was as obese as i am and her dr wanted her to have surgery but she was afraid and this was like 10 to 15 years ago so it definatly wasnt as available back then then of course there were the cost issues .. so my mom is definatly partly responsible for me wanting to do this i think if she could or would have had this surgery years ago she will still be here today .. and have had the chance to know her 2 beautiful grandaghters
Hugs Missy  |
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 y Mount Holly, NC Member Since: 01/08/05 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/15/06 2:01 pm Sarah, my sister has been against my having the surgery also. She said that she has watched me lose and gain weight all our lives. And she said she sees how happy I am when I lose, but how sad and hurt I am when I gain it all back. She thinks I am going to go through all of this and gain it all back again, a failure as she puts it I told her they invented this procedure for people like me that can't keep it off, I also told her that people gain 20-50 % of their excess weight back. But that I have more of a chance to keep it off like this and a chance to live, I know I was going to die without the surgery. Hang in there, we will give you lots of support right here. Just remember not to say, "I am not going to fail" instead you say"I am GOING TO SUCCEED!!!!!"
love to you,
Rita
325/198/140 |
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 Grove City, OH Member Since: 06/16/05 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 4/26/06 7:48 pm My surgery is at 1:00 on Monday. I can't wait to meet you.
Darlene |
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 Charlotte, NC Member Since: 02/10/06 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/15/06 7:34 pm Sarah,
I can definitely empathize. I got approved last week and went to tell my boss who I respect very much and who is usually supportive. His reaction was to ask me if I had ever tried 'getting a hobby' to take my mind off of food. As I've done with everyone else who has said stuff like that, I smiled and agreed that was a thought, but that "I'm very comfortable with my decision." Those six words have worked like magic for me with most people *****act negatively.
My sister and I aren't that close, but it still really, really hurt me when she told me that I have deep-seated emotional issues to 'mutilate' my body like I am going to and that I need psychiatric help. Ironically, she has always been thin and has just gained a lot of weight in the past few years. I struggled with the decision to even tell anyone outside of my family, but I ended up telling everyone. I'm proud of doing this...taking a step to care for myself and make my life better. |
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Grove City, OH Member Since: 06/16/05 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 4/26/06 4:40 pm It will be open, couldn't afford the extra cash for lap. But he promised the scar should be very thin & only about 4 inches long, maybe smaller if my skin stretches well.
Sounds like you have a WONDERFUL daughter! That is such a blessing!
Darlene  |
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 NC Member Since: 08/22/05 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/16/06 5:04 am Girlfriend my family doesn't talk to me at all now. My sister hates me now. She is overweight. But I did this for myself and I am not going to let anyone bring me down again. I was crying yesterday about the same thing. People on here let me see that I did do this for me. I talk to God alot. I know he understands.
God bless
amy |
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 Charlotte, NC Member Since: 06/19/05 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/16/06 5:43 am Sarah,
I am SO sorry that you are having to deal with this. Fortunately, I have a pretty good support group.
My mother who has been a real supporter throughout really surprised me yesterday. When I told her that I made it under 200 yesterday, she got quiet and then ended our phone call quickly. Really left me wondering what is going on.
I have noticed that people, thin and overweight, get very uncomfortable around you when you have had this surgery. Some don't know what to say to you, some have problems that they just aren't ready to deal with.
You need to be selfish and do what you think is right for you. Only you know if you are ready for this journey.
As for the doctors, I have never felt that my doctor had any other intentions than to improve my quality of life. It's hard to tell much from the information sessions. They try to scare you, because they want you to make sure you know what you are signing on for. It's not for every one. It is a life-long lifestyle change.
Good luck on your journey! Anytime you need to talk, just post and you'll get tons of support from here!
Nancy H. |
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OH Member Since: 02/17/05 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 4/27/06 7:20 am Please use splenda. The sugar will make you sick as a dog |
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 Southern States, NC Member Since: 01/19/04 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/16/06 8:08 pm Your sister loves you and she is fearful. Now, you dont deserve to be disrespected (not like to suggest you are not mature). However, God disagrees with her. You are a grown woman and can make this choice for yourself.
My sister suggested we do the Special K diet. She had about 25 lbs to lose. Do you know how much cereal that is!!! Anyway, I finally told her, I want your support. I do not want your opinion. I would like to have your support. If you cannot give it to me, fine. But I will not discuss this issue with you. And you know what? She was just fine after that.
No, your sister does not understand. Until you experience this or something similar, one will not. Dont expect her to. You dont have to discuss your choices with her. You are grown. All you can do, if you choose to, is to inform her of what they are. Otherwise, you dont have to do anything but do what you want to do to be healthy...fit and to live the life you want.
I hope you and your sister can find a way to share in this together.
Wish you well.
Nia |
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 Gastonia, NC Member Since: 03/30/05 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/16/06 11:25 pm Sarah
I think sometimes it is hard for those that love us the most and that dont understand the surgery to be supportive in the beginning. They only have that fear that something may happen, that you maybe the one that has the horrible experience, which is probably the only thing they have ever heard about this surgery, and in time do learn to support you like they should in the beginning. Make sure the education is there for her, if she wants to know, and make sure you let her know how much you love her and need her support now. Let her know that you are educated on this surgery and that this is not a fly by night decision. I know that sometimes those that have never expeienced the heartach of trying to lose weight, only to gain it back and more cannot truly understand. They always say just eat right and exercise, sometimes we reach a point that we have tried all we can and need this help. To me the surgery has been an answer to prayer and a gift from GOD. I know that your sister will come around, remember, keep that same loving spirit toward her, while letting her know you are asking for her support not her judgment or opinion. I think she will come around. Be strong!
Blessings to you!
Clytie |
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 Goshen, OH (06/18/03) Member Since: 08/02/03[Latest Posts] | Post Date: 4/28/06 8:29 am Hi Sandy how are you??
Yes there will be a lot of emphasis on lapband in Lexington. Dr. Weiss and Dr. Oldham, the two surgeons that will be featured at this event do about 50% lapBands..they have an incredible staff who are well trained for that. I have been working with them since the first of the year, watching the docs do the procedure in surgery as well as watching lapband fills and sitting in classes, because I know I neglected banders at the event..I had no idea we had that many out there as my doc at the time did very few. Also, Dr. Oldham requested I invite Dr. Curry to speak at this conference, he heard him give a talk on lapband, I hope to have him and Erin as well ( I know she has one herself)..if you look at the events site you will see some of the information that will be covered.
As far as discount, we are giving "military" discounts. We have folks whose husbands are in Iraq and could not afford to come..I thought inviting them at a discount rate is the least we could do..If you or your spouse is serving our country, please let me know..if you can show a military ID, I will be more than happy to give you a discount
Thanks
Brenda |
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 Charlotte, NC Duodenal Switch (09/11/06) Member Since: 01/16/03[Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/17/06 10:54 am Sarah, I can totally understand what you are going through. I don't have a sister, but my mother, brother and husband were very skeptical about surgery. Even some of my closest friends and co-workers were very negative about it. I have found that these bad attitutdes were not mean spirited but simply ignorance. Once I shared facts, cold facts, about the surgery and what it does and how it works people came around. Even my husband was tough to sway, then he got stuck saying "The band ONLY!" but once he went with me to a local seminar about it he has changed his opinions. Maybe you take your sis with you to either a seminar or a doctor's apt. Maybe once she sees what it is all really about, she will come around too. But if she doesn't approve of the surgery ever, just remember it is your body, your life. Your sister will eventually get over what ever is going on with her. Some people are just able to support us in every aspect of our lives sometimes. You just have to learn who you can lean on at your particular time of need. That may be another thing too, if you tell your sister in no uncertain terms that you are doing this, then tell her that it's going to be a hard road and you could really use her help. Sometimes all it takes to bring someone around is to tell them that you NEED them. Sorry to ramble...
Take Care,
Krista |
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 Frogtown, OH Member Since: 02/24/02 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 4/26/06 5:31 am Thank you LindaLee! |
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