Help, I don't want to give up!

Today is my 4th day on Opti and I'm having a really hard time. I don't know what it is because I'm not hungry, I do however just miss chewing. I ventured out on my lunch, I work downtown Toronto, to see if I can find ready to eat sugar free Jello cups which I have previously got at Walmart, but couldn't find them in any smaller grocery stores or pharmacies. This is because I forgot to take my Jello I made at home. I almost wanted to cry... over Jello. I'm so irritable and have trouble concentrating. For me though it is the feeling of isolation. Last night I made dinner for my family, but then went into another room to sip my shake while they ate and my boys (they are only 5 and 3) kept asking why mommy couldn't sit at the table with them. I really don't want to give up, but I never expected for this to be that hard. I have 10 more days of Opti left and 7 more days at work before the surgery. One piece of good news is that I'm down 5 lbs :) Any advice would be really appreciated. I haven't shared this with too many people and no one at work so not being able to talk to anyone is making it harder for me.

You''ve made it to day 4!! That's huge. You are most likely just have a wee moment. It happens. 2 weeks of liquids when everyone else can eat anything combined with seeing food everywhere is a pain in the ass.

But you can do this. Believe me. Just imagine if you had walked into your doctor and he had said, "You have a recently discovered virus. The only way you will survive it by consuming only these liquids for 2 weeks." Even if the stuff tasted like ass most of us would drink the it happily.

Now that is an extreme example but one of the reasons you are tackling your disease is because of those 2 boys, correct? They are not old enough to understand why you can't be at the table but they won't remember it later on. What they will remember is a woman who had control of her health and taught them healthy food relationships. A mother who was able to get out and be active with them and have fun and fit on amusement park rides.

One meal (shake) one day at a time. That's all there is. You can do it.

It is isolating.  And it is one of the hardest aspects of all of this.  You don't realize how much food plays a role in your life -- from social interactions to simply watching tv (all those commercials).  But food is everywhere, and we build so much of our life around it, one way or another.

I remember my second day of Opti, I was at a meeting that ran into lunch, and one of the participants pulled out a bag of potato chips...sigh!  Luckily, I had told my co-workers, so when I glared at her and said, you realize that I'm on a liquid diet for the next 4 weeks...she kindly put the chips away!  But I was pretty cranky in the first few days.  And I self-selected not to attend certain events because food would be a focus.  So yes, it was very lonely.  But I used that time to re-focus my energies.  Made plans.  Read.  Went to bed early.

But I dreamt about food at night. So no escaping it entirely with sleep. 

But in the end, it's so worth it.  And after the surgery, you will be able to participate in events again, because you won't crave food in the same way or approach it in the same way.  So hold on.  It does get better.

Good luck!

DD 

Oh Dear!  My suggestion would be to not go into another room to have your shake!  Sit at the table with your family, I would think just being at the table and chatting with your kids would bring you happiness   I think it would be easier for them to understand why you are having something different than your absence from the table.

Be prepared, take extra time to make sure you take everything you need with you to work. (I know, obvious suggestion).

You can do this! 

Hang tough gurl... you will get through this phase - you have to.  Get used to feeling like an outsider, get comfortable with it because it is only in your head.  You are not outside you are working on yourself for your health and to be there for your boys.  Get over desperatly looking for jello - that is part of the head game.  The head game becomes a bigger factor the farther out you get from surgery so develop some coping techniques.  Search this site...build your toolbox.

Why do you think you need to isolate yourself from your kids while having your meal? Find a special goblet for the Opti and enjoy the social aspect of a meal.  This is part of your new life. Right after sugery, you will be sitting at the table for an hour consuming a quarter of a cup of whatever for your meal.  

This journey is so worth it, keep focused on what you are learning and if you can get to TWH's support group meeting you will not feel so alone.

A couple things you can try doing.  You can try mixing the Opti with a little less water and make it into a pudding.  Eating it with a spoon instead of a straw might help (use a small spoon).

Chocolate PUDDING
2 Ice Cubes
6-8 oz water
1 Choco opti
Blend until Thick

If you want something to "eat" at night, let your family eat their meal and have some "soup" (broth) with them.  Most centers will allow broth while having Opti.

If you need to chew and aren't hungry, get some sf gum.  You're allowed 5 cal/gum (up to about 20 cal per day).

Cathy

I found to get the feeling of chewing I added ice to the drink.  I had a dinner party one week into optifast and while ey had chili, garlic bread, Cesar salad, I had my 2 cups of broccoli and cucumbers.  I made the decision to eat with them.  My family would leave the area if they were eating something that I knew would stimulate my hunger.  I found after the first week of desire yo eat anything.  You can do it. You are making a choice to improve your health.  Kept to the path be strong

Every one thank you so much for all your words of encouragement, this really has lift my spirits up. I so appreciate it :) I'm doing better today, concentrating on my shakes and other fluids intake. I do know I'm doing this to better my life, and I know there will be few humps in the road. It's so good to know I can always turn to this forum and to all of you for help. THANK YOU!

It also gets easier the closer you get to surgery date. You start to focus more on what's coming than what you're eating.