Post Date: 5/23/12 11:59 am Topic: RE: Sincerity Steffi,
An apology is a good way to begin the process of healing. . .
Indeed you caused quite a stir, but I think the reason you did so, was that you attacked someone on a level, and in a manner that we have all felt before, the scorn and ridicule of being obese and not looking like everyone else, and to be quite frank with you, I neither know, nor do I care who that person was, because what you did could have been directed at anyone of us, attacking someone's appearance is the same thing as calling people with disabilities names, it is an unkind thing to do, and even as you wrote it, you acknowledged it, when your talked about being smugly satisified in their appearance being less than what you thought it should be after having WLS and plastics and resorting to high school mean girl and that is why people were up in arms originally.
Steffi, if you were someone first looking for information and support and saw that, think how you might take it. It does not engender good feelings, it does not allow people to safely share their fears and feelings, for fear of judgment.
I know you are a well educated and smart woman and I believe in my heart you are a wonderful person, who made a bad mistake, your coming back and owning that you did the wrong thing is good.
The last thing I wish to say is that real friendship does not blindly yield to one another's wrong doing, it is sometimes holding one another accountable for actions that in hindsight should be withheld, for in so doing you serve the greater good in one another helping to build strength and positive growth in one another. Sometimes we need to really think before we act, if I’ve learned anything in my years, it is not to react to emotions, but to give it a chance to filter through and if need be, I go to a trusted friend, bounce it off them and decide what I need to do. A hurtful word or unkind deed is never forgotten, even if forgiven, the pain is always there under the surface.
I wish you peace and that the situation is over for you and whoever else was involved, as well as for this Forum.
Laureen
Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere. - Anonymous