Whenever I go to school or out with friends I always do my hair and makeup. I put on jewelry and perfume and wear nice clothes. I feel like I have to put extra effort into how I look because I feel like alot of people think that because you are overweight you are a lazy slob. Its so annoying when I go to school and even though I feel like I look nice a skinny girl can be standing beside me with sweat pants and a t-shirt and her hair in a ponytail and look so much better. It would be sooooo much quicker to get ready for school if I could just through on sweats too but its just not the same. While she looks cute and comfy I feel like I would look like I just didnt care about my appearance and like I was lazy. Anyways this was just something I was thinking about at school today and was wondering if anyone else ever felt this way. On an exciting note my consultation is on Monday :)

I had my surgery 8 years ago and am a lot older than you but while I am happy slobbing about at home - I don't walk out the door without putting myself together ...

I live in CO so everywhere's casual, but I think there's a big difference between slobby and casual - I would NOT go out in sweats, PJ bottoms etc - but I do wear shorts or jeans pretty much every day ...

There is nothing wrong with taking pride in your appearance (hair and make up etc - and I can rock a pony tail!) whatever your age or size and I'm sure you look gorgeous whatever your size (if your picture is anything to go by)!!!!!

I recently graduated from college and felt like this everyday.  In fact it was even mentioned to me that I just couldnt get by with going out in sweats like others do.  Unfortunately people sometimes have double standards, but Im sure you look better than the girl in sweats any day!

When I was bigger and still now I try to always put on a little makeup even if it's just lipgloss and do my hair. But there have always been days, and still are days, where I'll throw on a pair of my husband's basketball shorts and a tee shirt and run to the store etc. And i think I still look good! It's all about perception and confidence to me, and I'm just as confident in sweats as I am all dolled up .

Congrats on your upcoming consult.

Yes, I understand your point. I call it the Sartorial Apology Method of Dressing ( I like to make up names for stuff ). It is as if we, as obese women, have a higher standard to meet, therefore by dressing more nicely than the average bear, we are apologizing for being fat.

I agree with Kim though: there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking pride in your appearance. For years, I had lists of things I would wear "Someday" when I was thinner. But that day never came and I decided to dress the body I had rather than the body I wanted.

What I have noticed is that fat or thin, being well put together (and yes, jeans can be well put together as can shorts. You can bet your bottom dollar Kim doesn't look like a bum in hers) will net you nicer treatment. Try it next time you are out and about. If you look well and are nicely groomed and hold yourself with confidence, people respond to that positively.

Shorts and a race shirt are my usual non work dudes. I an way ass proud of my legs do I sore them. Around work it is biz casual or Jeans and a shirt. I still feel fart and frumpy do if I wear a button shirt I will wear compression shirt under it.

I forgot!

This Saturday I will be rocking the tight Lycra shorts and top while I do another Tri!

I can totally relate. I haven't left the house without makeup in SO many years for that exact reason. It sucks that we have to be labeled as sloppy just because we're heavy, so I always do hair and makeup before heading out. It will be nice to let go of that a bit when I hit my goal...if I can, I'm kind of girly (ok, very girly) LOL

I agree that there is definitely a double-standard. Fat people are viewed as lazy and have to put in more effort to look better. I spent my life compensating for being overweight. I bought designer clothes, put a lot of effort into my hair and make-up and never went anywhere unless I was all done up. Post WLS I do enjoy getting dressed up and doing my hair and make-up, but I don't feel as though I have to do it just to walk the dog.

Best of luck on your consult!

Good luck with the consult.
I never wear make-up and didn't do much primping pre-op. This was mostly because I spent my entire childhood/teenage years wearing uniforms for school, so high school was always bland khakis and a white polo (which, for the record, looks good on NO ONE). We had the option to wear skirts, but they looked really horrible on anyone who had hips so I never did.

But when it came to my hair and personal style, I tried to be outrageous. I wore a lot of jewelry, ear cuffs, and had different colored hair probably once every few months. Purple, red, even blue hair! Any way I could stand out that wasn't through the pretty clothes I didn't fit in and couldn't buy was what I tried. When I see pictures of myself from then, wearing ultra sparkly, gaudy Lane Bryant shirts I cringe.

Now I wear nice dresses almost everyday, even in the winter. Once I was an average size, I realized that I could pick and choose. What a concept! It was weird to have options. I still have funky style. I love retro cut dresses and I have eleven ear-piercings and three tattoos...but I don't feel like I'm trying too hard anymore and looking desperate. I just feel like me. And that's pretty cool.

I hope that no matter what happens on your weight loss journey that you always feel confident with your personal style. There's definitely pressure for overweight people to not look "sloppy," but dressing well will pay off for you. At a job interview looking professional is crucial, in school your professors will take you more seriously, and you will ultimately feel more comfortable with whatever the day throws at you. If an unexpected opportunity to go somewhere fun comes your way, you won't be the one worrying about getting home to change out of your sweats first.

My Mom engrained this into me....when you go out dress, makeup and hair do....for this reason if I'm not all decked out and run to the store I do feel like a slob....went to the lab this morning and as I was coming through the door saw a woman sitting next to her grown son and she elbowed him and nodded my way.....and no I wasn't dressed, had on shorts and matching shirt....and I so wanted to scream at her that I had lost 65 pounds!    Ofcourse after I signed in...their was only was one chair available next to HER!  So, I flopped down next to her....I know she was none to happy about it.....why are people so stupid??   It wasn't like she was a knock out. 

Anyway, I digress....I understand where you are coming from!  Hubby hates for us to plan to go anywhere like out to dinner cause it takes me atleast an hour and half to do hair, makeup and clothes.....he's called me for lunch several times to just get up and run to his work....and I can't cause haven't fixed the hair and bod!!   Plus I want to be down ALOT before I run into any of his work buddies....i've only met 2 but they both know me at my somewhat low weight and they've seen me my high weight. 

Hang in there!!  It's worth it.....was returning some clothes at Kohl's this morning and right at the door they had those cutsie exercise outfits and one day I will own one of them!!   Or one for everyday of the week! :)  

i know what you mean. even when i was done up to the nines, i always felt underdressed, as an obese person. Hardly seems fair that skinny chicks can throw on anything and look good...


Yay for consultation on Monday!!!

I like dressing up. Even in high school I'd dress up. Camping is the only time I don't dress up, but I still do my hair and makeup. Now I like to dress up even more cause I can find more selections. I don't think it should matter wether your skinny or not. I've always dressed up and I'll continue to do it after I reach goal.

Judge me not by my appearance!  I never let anyone dismiss me based on what I look like or what I wear.  If someone is  going to judge me on my appearance and what I'm wearing then I have no use for them.  I wear school uniforms to work and sweats on the weekend.  I have always been this way.    Weight had nothing to do with it.  I  don't view myself as lazy or a slob. Just someone not concerned by the superficialness of day to day dressing.