PSA - The internet, public forums, and you!
There have been a lot of drama posts recently. People are too mean, they are "attacking" others, etc. I have to break it to you guys, this is a public forum, and anyone can say anything they want here as long as it does not break the rules set down by OH. Disagreeing with someone is not against the rules. It's also not bullying to state an opinion. Most of the posts on this forum are polite disagreement. The only time it really turns into nastiness is when the OP gets defensive and then things get ugly.
OH is so mild in comparison to most other forums I've been to. I was a regular poster back in 2013 on a parenting website when I was pregnant with my youngest son. The people on that site were NASTY mean. I got attacked for being obese, I got attacked for having acne on my face, I got attacked because I was not part of the "clique". There was no niceness, there was no support and there definitely was no fooling myself that these people had any kind of interest in helping me work my way through a high risk pregnancy. BUT, I stuck around because i gleaned support from the questions and it had been 14 years since I had been pregnant.
The internet is a nasty place, just go visit any news website and watch the comments section. It's filled with racist, sexist and homophobic comments by people who are able to hide behind a screen name. It's disgusting and I had to purposely not go to those sites because I get really, really angry.
OH forums are moderated, so if you see something like that, it won't be around for long. But they do not moderate things that aren't offensive or an actual personal attack.
If someone thinks you're being shallow for not wanting to even consider dating an obese person, that is not an attack. If someone thinks that you are being narcissistic by posting a lot of bull**** that is also not an attack. If someone doesn't agree with what you are telling other members, they can disagree and it's not an attack.
The whole idea behind these message boards, at least as I see it, is to share our experiences. I know for a fact that people have disagreed with me. I have been called out in the past, and I expect to be called out on the future. I do not take any of this personally, as the people calling me out just want to state their opinion or think I'm providing bad info. I'll take it or leave it, and go on about my business.
The best part about this whole thing is that if you come across someone who offends you, or that you just don't like, you can block them. You won't see their postings and they won't be able to see yours. It's just as easy at that.
So, for you members who are offended by other's opinions, please don't leave. BLOCK them and continue on about your business. This place is worth it, and to flounce away without giving it a real chance is only really cheating yourself.
Lastly, if you truly believe that someone is attacking you and they they have crossed the line from opinion to abuse. Report them. The moderators will look at your report and decide if it's crossed the line. Many a post has been removed, and they are here to make sure everyone sticks to the rules.
(special note* I am not a moderator, I don't work for OH, so don't PM me with your complaints!)
Age: 44 | Height: 5' 3" | Starting January 2015: 291 | RNY 8/4/15 with Dr. Arthur Carlin| Goal: 150
Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise. ~Proverbs 19:20
I have to agree that this is one of the more mild forums. I was a Weigh****chers member for years and just couldn't believe how ugly the forums were.
I usually learn a lot from the posts where folks have differing opinions. I mean look at all of the different variations of doctor plans after surgery! I had to do no liquid diet before or after and went home from the hospital on soft proteins. I truly appreciate all of the different viewpoints on this site. I don't post a lot but I have read and absorbed tons of good information.
I agree members should stay and block folks if they want, or even just read and not post if that feels safer to them. There is a lot to learn here and support unlike we would be able to get anywhere else.
~Melanie~
