confession

minaque2
on 11/2/17 8:24 am

I am 9 weeks out. The past 2 days I have given into my anxiety/depressed mood and eaten crackers, not just a few either. I feel terrible and I am terrified if I am doing this at 9 weeks what I will be doing at 20, 40 and 60 weeks out. Today I have decided to make a clean break. I am doing only liquids. Water, tea and protein shakes. It makes me feel like I am wiping the slate clean and tomorrow I will commence protein only. I meet with the WLS program shrink once every 6 weeks and my next appointment is in 2 weeks. I plan on emailing her today before I lose the courage to tell her. Once I get a taste for the carbs I ate the cravings get 100 times worse. The next few days are not going to be any fun. I wanted to come here and tell you all first and foremost because I need to feel supported and encouraged to keep doing the next right thing. Secrets keep us sick.

ScottAndrews
on 11/2/17 9:00 am
RNY on 03/20/17

You still have your tool. Today's a new day and a new start. Write your counselor and have a plan next time you get " in that mood"

And throw out those crackers.

Especially if they're Ritz!

minaque2
on 11/2/17 9:31 am

I don't keep much in the house, just a couple snacks that I pack for school for my 5 yr old son. They are goldfish and pretzels!

rocky513
on 11/2/17 9:06 am - WI

Accountability is everything after WLS. Unfortunately they only operate on our stomachs, not our brains. Getting the head stuff right is the hardest part. Keep working with your therapist to figure out ways to cope without turning to food.

That carb monster is really hard to get back in the cage once you've released it. Once you have wrangled that B**ch, throw away the key! Simple carbs will slow or stop your weight loss. You didn't go through the pre- surgery hoops and a complicated surgery to re-arrange your guts just to fail. Try to keep that in the front of your mind when you are reaching for that cracker. When I get stressed and want to eat, I reach for an adult coloring book. It keeps my hands and mind busy.

Keep up the fight. You can do this!

HW 270 SW 236 GW 160 CW 145 (15 pounds below goal!)

VBG Aug. 7, 1986, Revised to RNY Nov. 18, 2010

minaque2
on 11/2/17 9:33 am

No, I def didn't go thru this all to fail.. I will keep fighting. TY

Dcgirl
on 11/2/17 9:08 am - DC
RNY on 12/16/13

Many (if not most or all) of us use(d) food to deal with emotions. Happy? Eat a pizza? Depressed? Eat a plate of nachos bigger than our head. Lonely? Eat a pint of ice cream. After surgery, it's important to find new outlets for coping with those emotions. That may be going to therapy, which has helped so many people here. In the short-term, I find that doing something that keeps me busy can keep me from randomly eating. Go for a walk. Join a class at a gym. Some people do knitting or something that keeps their hands busy. Because yes, crackers and popcorn and foods like that are called "slider foods". They don't fill you up and slide right out of your pouch, leaving you hungry shortly thereafter. May I suggest that rather than going to only liquids, go to only dense protein. Drinking 3 shakes won't fill you up. Eating 3 oz of chicken breast, or 3 oz of shrimp, or 3 oz of cottage cheese, or greek yogurt, or fish, or ground turkey, or steak will! Plus your body needs the protein. I promise that at almost 4 years out I can eat a seemingly limitless amount of crackers and popcorn but I still have restriction when I eat the dense protein. Eat your protein and make sure you are getting lots of water/liquids in (though not while eating and not for 30 minutes after). It will be much easier than trying to subsist on liquids, which will make you feel like you're hungry and make you feel like you are on a big restricted diet. If you can think of this as a new way of eating/a new way of life, you will likely be more successful in the long run. Good luck!

minaque2
on 11/2/17 9:48 am

I'm just doing only liquids for today. It will make me feel better. Tomorrow I will start in on eating protein only foods. I still have a problem with dense protein though. It hurts to eat. I work from home and so it's the afternoons at my desk that the temptations creep in. I'm on the phone and at my computer almost constantly. I do knit but it's hard to do between phone calls and while typing. Of course it's still easy to eat crackers. I am going out for a walk now at my lunch hour. That always seems to help.

TY!

Dcgirl
on 11/2/17 9:54 am - DC
RNY on 12/16/13

At nine weeks out, dense protein can still be tough. Perhaps get some 85% lean (so not super lean) ground turkey and cook it up and then portion it out in 3 oz containers with a variety of seasonings, sauces, gravies. If you keep it moist, it may sit better. Or make egg salad (either with mayo or cottage cheese). Or make chicken thigh meat in the crockpot with a sauce. String cheese may sit well too, or those laughing cow wedges which are super soft. I work from home too and have to keep myself from wandering into the kitchen. The good part of that is no junk in the shared kitchen calling my name! And I just try to not buy the crap I know I will shove in my gullet and shouldn't (within reason, since I have my BF and 3 kids to feed so it's not like I refuse to buy them crackers but I do open a sleeve of crackers for them and then toss it when they go back to their moms). Crackers have the word "crack" in them for a reason!

minaque2
on 11/2/17 10:56 am

right now, cheese, yogurt, cottage cheese, veggie burgers, tuna with mayo, Premier protein shakes and PB sit well. I can eat the same thing over and over. It doesn't bother me. Yes, crackers are just like crack to me. LOL!

Librarian67
on 11/2/17 10:48 am
RNY on 02/28/17

I applaud you for sharing your experience. It helps to not feel so alone with the struggle. Thus far I have resisted the call of crackers, but they are so tempting. That and Cheetos for me were a big thing before surgery. You are doing the right thing to talk to your therapist about it and to shift to an all protein diet for a while. It will help to keep you full and resist the Call of the Carbs. I'm proud of you for reigning it in.

HW: 248+, SW (RNY: 2/28/17): 244, GW (10/17): 125; LW: 115; 45# regain (19-20); CW: 135.6; new goal: 135; Plastics: Ext mastopexy, Ext abdominoplasty-5/18/2018; diagnosed w/ gastroparesis 11/20.

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