Got bloodwork done, other than my cholesterol being only slightly high (just .4 over normal) my Vit. D was 13. Yes I know that is extremely low and normal starts at 30. I have always had trouble with my vit D even before surgery, but now it's even harder to get it up. Everything else though appears to be showing up as fine. Iron/potassium/protein is great. They didn't do my other vitamins even though I asked them to do everything but it is what it is.

Finally reached 248 and it feels like it has taken forever just to reach this point. I know I need less than 50 lbs to reach onderland, but I feel like this journey is taking forever. Like my body is fighting for every pound and not wanting to shed the weight. I would probably loose more though if I was more active. Been wanting to start some very light exorcise but not sure where to begin. I used to walk a mile a day but can't do that yet. It's hard sometimes to want to be active when your Sig. other is not wanting any activity.

Perhaps it is because I'm loosing weight, but I look at the amount of food my hubby eats, what he eats and it just makes me angry. Angry because I remember I used to eat that same type of food (not the amount just the type) and because I know how unhealthy it is.. it also doesn't help that he is now considered morbidly obese. I try to talk to him about different foods and or cutting back.

But it like, the more I talk about it, the more defensive he gets. To the point where he says he just won't eat anything and that would be healthier. I honestly don't try to nag, but I guess I'm going about it all wrong. He loves his food so much. He can sit and happily eat 4 chili cheese dogs and drink a 32oz pop in one sitting, then not even 1-2 hours later be just as hungry again and go for round 2.

He knows what he eats is bad, even tells me when I don't mention a word. But it is like.. the more weight I loose, the more he wants to eat. I'm not sure how to stop it or help I guess. I don't know if his eating is increasing because he feels guilty that I'm loosing weight and he is gaining/maintaining the same weight within 1-3 lbs or what.

Guess I just needed to talk a bit, relieve some stress and get things off my mind. It helps to talk it out and since I have no one to visit with in RL i can come here :) Thank you all for listening and also if anyone has suggestions for my Vit. D issue, I would love to hear it. I take grinded up Vit. D pills (doctor prescription) but it doesn't seem to be helping very well.

Things can get complicated when one spouse "leaves the other" in the obese world. I'm no psychologist but it almost seems natural for the obese partner to envy or even feel threatened by their partner's weight loss.

My wife has always been thin and she's very happy that I lost weight. Even with that fact, there's been times when my changed eating habits have caused stress.

You both need therapy. Separately and together.

You had surgery, he did not. and you changed - he did not. if you did not have the surgery- could you eat as little as you are eating now? probably not.

if some of us could lose the weight by limiting choices and exercise - there would be, IMO, much less people who need the WLS. I lost weight so many times, only to put it back on. ENY gave me a chance to lose and keep it off.

I went through a phase where I would get kind of 'angry' watching other people pack the food away...

It wasn't necessarily my spouse though, just people in general. I think I was processing some of my 'loss' of the ability to pack it away by feel frustrated watching other people. After reading your post I realize that's gone away.

But couple counseling might be good for you. I was lucky in that my husband (who wasn't SMO, or even MO, but needed to lose a few pounds) jumped on board my 'eating train' and has lost the extra pounds he wanted to lose while I did my journey.

Thanks, mirandaF, for taking time in sharing your pre-surgery stories. I like some of your lines mentioning your hubby's perception of losing weight. I think that your hubby does not realize the importance of controlling his diet, leading to an obesity issue. When other people take notice of his look, maybe he would consider changing his attitude towards losing weight. Have patience! Time can tell for a better life (ideal weights) for both of you.

I am going to speak to the vitamin D and not the food/anger issues. I am currently in counseling and one thing a friend has asked me to speak about with a counselor is "my rage" and that I can have a very harsh tongue when angered.

The thing is...I dont feel that I am all that angry. The stuff I am angry about, I feel pretty justified in because I refuse to let myself be put in similar situations again. And I firmly believe that NO ONE is capable of being "Little Miss Sunshine" all of the time. I refuse to even try to be her because I am NOT HER. But, since I am there talking about other stuff...may as well get that checked out too.

On the vitamin D...I used to have this problem too. Do they have you on those weird turquoise blue capsules yet? Maybe you will need to fortify with those D3 capsules once a week.

Next-I take extra vitamin D3 every day as a separate supplement. So I got my D in my multi, D in my calcium supplement, and then I am taking this 3rd extra D. This is what I have to do to get up in the normal range and stay there. I get the D3 from BJs. The brand is fairly common, it is in a bottle with a label that is green and white.

Lastly, people have the ability to synthesize vitamin D. However, it is variable and white Europeans are actually worse at it than other racial groups. I see from your pic that you are fair. So what I do, is I got outside for 30 minutes over my lunch and just walk outside in the sun...even when it is winter. It has helped my levels a bit. The pills are more effective..but it gets my butt out of my office chair. You may want to give it a try. If it doesnt work, it doesnt work. But it sounds like you are so deficient that you may have to get your Vit D in a number of ways to get up to normal levels.

Good luck

My Vitamin D3 usually hovers between 6-12. I have been taking 5000IU Vitamin D3 dry formula for the past 2 months, up from 2,000IU. I get retested on Thursday. We'll see. I get so jealous sometimes when I see my husband and son eating stuff I can't eat. My husband is super active and weighs about 150lbs. He has a pedometer on his phone and he always gets in like 5 miles a day and that's just from working. No "exercise." I struggle to hit my goal of 3000 steps. I get them from my daily walk at the cemetery during lunch. I have to push myself out the door but once I'm out there, I am so grateful I did! I think it helps my mood especially. I also really have no one in real life to talk to about stuff. My weight, depression and anxiety helped push everyone away. Now that I want people back in my life I can't seem to find them. It's hard to make friends as a grown up. It doesn't help I work from home. My office is in my bedroom. I spend 18 hours of my day in this one room. Regarding your hubby. I agree about the counseling. That could help. I wonder though if you should just not talk to him about his food. It's hard to sit by and watch someone you love slowly kill themselves especially when you are working hard to change but he has got to want to change. You won't convince him and it's only making it harder on you.

Thank you everyone for your replies. Sorry it took me so long to reply back. I agree with wanting counseling, but when your on medicare, sadly that is an impossibility. I used to have counseling but when I was put on disability I lost all that when I went from medicaid to medicare. I think what I will try is to find something online perhaps. Sometimes there are forums or places one can go and it doesn't cost too much. Just hard to find the good ones.

I'm going to see if I can't find that D3 you all talk about and add that to my daily meds. I find i still have to grind up all my pills because I can't take them normally, even cut in half they get "stuck" or it feels like they just don't digest and I swear I can feel it travel down. Weirdest and sometimes painful feeling when that one happens. I do step outside when I take my dog out, so I'm easily getting at least 30 min of sun (when its out that is) I think I need to start walking again though. I remember I used to enjoy my walks a lot, just taking my time on a stroll. My hubby used to join me for every walk. Maybe if I just push myself and keep going, he will join me again.

I think our attitudes and well being was better when we would get out every day to. So I think your all right that when being outside, it just makes things better. Thank you all again for your words of wisdom and kindness. It means a lot to me, and having friends even if only online, feels good.