When I met my husband, it was clear that he lived on fast food and convenient microwaveable foods. He was a bachelor, living on his own. He did NOT cook real meals for himself. I like to cook, and occasionally when I was visiting (we started out long distance) I'd go to the store and buy things to make good home-cooked meals, and leave the leftovers for him to eat after I left again. For the most part though, we just went out to eat since he didn't have anything for real meals in his house.

DH was 525 lbs and had RNY in May last year. 8 months out, he is down to 330 lbs. his surgical center and surgeon consider him a major success story, and I'm incredibly proud of him. That being said, he still doesn't cook for himself, has no interest in doing so. He eats what I make for us, which has been low carb, protein forward.

I've told him that while I'm on my liquid diet, I likely won't be cooking. If I had kids it would be different, but I see no reason to cook for a grown man if I'm not eating "real" food, and he is perfectly capable. I've asked him what foods he would like me to have in the house for him, and he's given me nothing! I know what he can eat--but not what he will bother making for himself! I'm worried he will resort to eating those convenient foods again. Not the same amounts as before, but it's a slippery slope to going back to old habits. I want him to continue to be successful, but I also know that this is HIS journey, however much we are doing it together, and I can't make his choices for him.

gah! Long winded as always. My need for advice is more what kinds of "convenient," protein-forward foods would YOU keep stocked for the WLS patient who doesn't like to cook for himself and is sunndenly going to be fending for himself?

Some things that would be easy to cook would be already made chili,sausages,shrimp, or steak. Foods that would require no prep would be deli meat and cheese for rollups,cottage cheese,already prepared chicken or tuna salad,already grilled chicken strips with some lettuce for salad. Check the freezer section at your grocery store for any low carb frozen entrees. Our Walmart is now carrying some that are low carb friendly. Of course the preservatives are not the best but it's better than a trip through the drive thru.

Oh! He will fix himself a salad, he likes spinach (his mom about fainted when she heard him mention that he eats spinach now lol). I can get frozen diced chicken breast. And I can make a big pot of chili maybe the night before I start liquids (so I can have some) then freeze the leftovers in individual portions. Good idea!

So I guess it depends on how much work you want to do FOR him, versus what you want him to do for himself...ya know?

Because I cook, I have probably 10-15 pre-measured frozen meals in my freezer for me... they are chicken crack, taco meat (both chicken and ground beef), pork chops, no noodle lasagna (ie meaty baked ricotta), and I'm not sure what else... I bring these to work for breakfast and lunch every day. If you are up to it, you can always make him these to just grab and heat up when he's hungry.

Grab and go, I like all of Karen's ideas... lunch meat, cottage cheese, cheese sticks, hard boiled eggs, and while the P3 packs aren't the best in the world, they are easy grab and go meals for us.

I don't expect to do much FOR him, except have good things in the house he can choose to heat or grab for himself. I do the shopping since he works an odd schedule and it's just easier for me to get to the store.

I think it's more likely that I will do exactly what you said and make a few things to put in the freezer for grab n go :)

Why do you care more about his eating convenience food more than he does?

You have already shown that you have "skin in the game" by asking for menus, if he is so lax when it comes to his health THAT IS ON HIM.

You aren't his mom or his nanny. You can't help people that are unwilling to help themselves.

Just my two cents.

You're right, and ultimately, whatever I stock the fridge with, he could go through the drive thru anyway, and that IS on him. I know he has already been having fast foods on nights he goes out (he has game nights with his friends during the week), and I don't say anything, it's his choice not to stop at home for something more nutritious. But for practical reasons I DO do the shopping. I'm not going to prepare the food for him, but I guess I'm trying to find the fine line between what is being supportive and what is being "his mommy."

He is very proud of his progress, but generally doesn't have to think too much about what he eats at home since I am happy to plan and prepare our meals. I was just trying to get a refresher/reminder about what sort of things don't require much prep or cooking skills. The things I consider "easy" aren't necessarily things he would.

lol I guess I was hoping for input from others who dislike, or are unskilled at, cooking

I am probably going to be a little more understanding of this because my BF never cooked and likely never will. Before I go out of town I have to do a whole shopping/prep session otherwise he would just eat a protein bar for every meal. And I don't want that for him. Yes, he's a grown-ass man and should be able to take care of himself, but I also figure he takes great care of me (does ALL the dishes, shares laundry, handles trash and recycling, cleans the bathrooms, and more). So if I have to put in a little more effort for cooking, I'm in.

Do you have Trader Joe's? They have SO many items that are convenient that honestly even if it's an hour away you may want to hit them up. They have sliced deli meats, grilled chicken strips (not frozen - they actually are grilled real chicken near the cheese section and delicious), chicken sausages (if he doesn't grill, he can put them on a piece of foil in the microwave oven), chili lime chicken burgers in the frozen area that can be pan sautéed. Also lots of cheese.

Yogurt, hard-boiled eggs, tuna packets are also good ideas.

I know everyone's experience varies but I was at the hospital for one night after RNY and then home. Sure, I lazed about on the couch but I wasn't in great pain or completely exhausted. I even walked to the grocery store after a few days. I think you can likely even pan fry a chicken burger or make a bowl of tuna salad or egg salad for him starting on day 3.

Relationships are all about taking care of someone else and not just yourself. I don't think there is any shame in wanting to be invested in his health and success. You guys are doing this together which is exciting. I sometimes I wish I had in-house support rather than living with a "normal" person who literally never craves any type of food, never overeats, and naturally prioritizes protein. BIZARRE. LOL

I really love this so much, and you are right! Some of us are more naturally the 'care givers' than others... and some are more in charge of one thing at home. I cook. And if I got out of town or am gone, I typically have something in the fridge/freezer for my husband and kids to eat, or I make sure they know what they are doing for food. My husband does all the laundry for me, I find my clothes clean and either hung up or on my dresser to be put away. That is worth every.single.meal I cook for him, or plan for him. It's a give and take sort of thing.

lol Yup, I have no problem being on food duty if he is willing to do the mowing, shoveling snow, vaccuming, and spider-killing in our household :P