Dealing With People Who Think You're Weak

There have been several people who I've told about my upcoming surgery who have made comments such as, "Why can't I just lose the weight yourself or isn't this the easy way out?" Has anyone else run into people like this who don't understand that keeping the pounds off is the issue and that there are other medical issues involved. How have you dealt with these types of people?

Thanks,

Dan

"the easy way out" is probably the most common. No, I will just do it the "natural" way...

Just remember, the surgery is the easy part, its what follows that isn't..it is just a tool like any other..its how you use the tool...

Tell them this is just the tool you chose...

You don't have to deal with them. Don't talk to those people about your surgery anymore and if they bring it up just let them know that your medical decisions are not up for discussion. You need support now, you've done your research, and if they are that curious about the surgery, they can do their research too. If they still have anything negative to say they can keep it to themselves.

I kept my circle of people I told fairly small, people who'd seen me lose and regain over and over again, and struggle with diabetes and infertility, that I knew would support menor at least withhold judgement until they learned more about the intricacies of the surgery, the metabolic and hormonal benefits, etc etc.

basically, you're under no obligation to anyone for your medical decisions.

Ask them why they take the easy way out by driving somewhere or using a washing machine instead of going down to the river and beating their clothes on the rocks.

It's none of their business and don't let these people get you down. You could go into a long explanation about how RNY will not only enable you to lose weight very quickly but keep it off, which is the thing that most of us have trouble with, but it will most likely fall on deaf ears. These are people who already have their minds made up and they are not worth the energy.

They see you stepping out of line to make a change and that makes them reflect on their own choices and it's likely that they don't like what they see. Don't let them make you stray from your path.

Jen

So much this ^^^

I was actually going to comment that once I read, "Why do we drive instead of walk and why do we use a washing machine instead of washing clothes in a river" but you beat me to it :)

Before I had surgery, I told my boss, coworkers, friends and family, "So hey, I am healthy but according to my doctor I'm not going to stay that way if I don't lose weight, so I am having a procedure". No one tried to talk me out of it, but they wouldn't have been successful even if they tried! My mind was made up. And almost five years later, it was BY FAR the best thing I have ever done in my life.

To the OP: Ignore the naysayers, forge your own path, do the hard mental work and get your health back!

Haha, great minds think alike, right? Seriously, I just don't understand this whole "right way/wrong way" thing when it comes to weight loss. Do whatever is right for you and just never mind people who say you're doing it wrong.

The other thing that irritates me is when people say, "You're just doing it so you'll look better." Well, what's wrong with that? Should I be satisfied with being fat and looking like I've just given up on life? No thanks.

Jen

Screw them. I'd look them in the eye, tell them you've made your decision, and say you won't be discussing it any further with them.

I was at a critical point, my health was failing , I was on 6 medications including insulin. I walked out of the Hospital off all but one BP med and was off that within a month. I did it for my health. So many people would comment that I look fabulous and I was always quick to credit my new found health. You are doing this for you and no one else. My last A1c prior to WLS was 11.2, can you imagine where I would be today had that continued. Don't look back. Your health is on you and no one else.

I had naysayers as well, 4 years later they are believers!

do you discuss your other health/ medical issues with anyone else? This is a medical decision and you owe no one any thing.

"I guess we'll never know, since I'll be having surgery. Oh darn. How about that last episode of The Walking Dead. Can you believe they killed Rick?!"