Checking in to say hello

I've been so busy the past couple of months. Everything is just crazy. Still in recovery mode from back surgery and am in physical therapy now. Kids are non-stop stuff. My daughter is now home with me full-time (she's 10 and attending a public online school). Between shuttling kids, errands, work, appointments... I feel like I don't actually get to breathe anymore.

I hit 150 and slowly have went up to about 158 or so and stayed within a few pounds of that. I'm not sure if I want to keep it though. I stayed at 150 for a couple of months and my face never really filled out. I felt like I looked too gaunt. I dunno. I might lose these 8 and look again now that my hair is cut differently. I kind of want to hit 140 to see what THAT looks like but right now I'm just not willing to do that work, if I'm being honest. I like how my face looks right now. I have SO much skin though that I finally gave up and bought a larger size of jeans. I was fooling myself by squishing too much skin into them. The waist will just have to be a little loose to accommodate the lower tummy skin.

I know my limitations and right now that's one of them. Plus I need to visit with another plastic surgeon to see what he thinks. The other one said, "you're done if you want to be done". Helpful for someone that still sometimes sees a 375 pound woman looking back at her in the mirror! LOL

I've started light exercise again, small walks per day. I go about 15 minutes. More than that and my back starts to hurt at the surgical site and starts to swell. The neurosurgeon okay'd me to start lifting again, but I am not comfortable with that yet. PT wants me to do lots of stretching and things to work out what she thinks are adhesions from the scar tissue and some issues with my glute muscles/nerves. Then I'll drag my butt back to KokoFitClub and they'll give me a super easy routine to start with. I hate starting over, but it is what it is.

My new hair (with those 8 extra pounds that I think I might keep) with my daughter visiting the capitol for a field trip:

Oh! Hubby made the most amazing stuffed cabbage the other night. He subbed out quinoa for the rice and it was SO good, warm and filling with all thos cold weather we've had here in Austin!

That's about it... just keepin' on keepin' on.

You look great!  But what really matters is how you feel.  If you are comfortable at 150-158 and you feel healthy, you should stay there.  

Ah, if only it were that easy... LOL. I don't like how my torso looks AT ALL, but I also don't know how much of that really is skin. In the back of my head, maybe the plastics guy was just telling me he thinks I can be done because he has a sharp scapel and a boat he wants to buy. *laughing*

Nah, I'm getting more and more comfortable and to keep at 150, I was having to stick at 1000 calories per day, which left me feeling icky this far out. I also seem to have less moments of freezing to death at this calorie level and weight, so part of me really thinks this is fine. And it is. For now.

We'll see. I'm just toying around with the idea. I'm not willing to do anything right now. Too much going on. 160 is kind of my big flash red light that says "stop what you're doing NOW". The reality is that my eating is pretty clean. I have an indulgence now and then, but it's pretty rate. Heck, yesterday I had half of a small slice of pie and just a bit of turnips with my salad and turkey. Just didn't want all that other heavy crap.

Glad to see you posting again!  You are looking fabulous. :) 

Love, love, love the hair!  You look gorgeous!  You will know when your weight feels right!  You sure have gone through a lot and you have such great self control! Physical therapy will take time, and that alone is enough to contend with.  I think your doing great and am so happy your posting again, we've missed you!

smiles:),

Lisa

Hey......

Sorry I haven't returned your calls....... ya..... that's right.... you never called......

You know what's up..... your just fine tuning the whole package.... that's what your supposed to do......

Sounds like your dealing with your back issues just right...... common sense says "slower .....better"

So..... just an observation.....we can talk about this in a non-creepy way because.... well, we were pretty freakin fat.......

That's some good space between your thighs.........!!!!! hah !

And the food looks good also !

frisco

Hahahaha. Yeah, I have to go slow or I pay for it... majorly!

And yes... my legs are SO thin. It's freakish sometimes to look down and I have great space from the waist down and ribcage up. I'm not sure I liked how thin my face got so I'm playing with it. It's weird to be able to have that control. I didn't "intentionally" go up 8 pounds, per se, but I kind of did by playing with my calories and what I'm willing to do.

Honestly, I think once I'm able to get stomach plastics, I'll feel better about it all.

Love you :) I thought of you when I was eating the cabbage rolls :)

Hey! Great to "see" you. Glad things are better on  your end and that you are healing.

As for the weight thing. Yeah, I get it. We can all say how good you look, blah, blah, blah..... but it's gotta be from inside you. Me, I think your face looks good, I love your collar bones (yes, a freakish fetish of mine), and you look to be the right weight. Again, totally up to you. You'll figure it out.

Clearly, you've got this.

Oh, honey... if collar bones are your things, I'm going to have to do a lot more photos for you because one thing I have is GORGEOUS collar bones. The first time it rained and water collected there it FREAKED ME OUT. But yeah.

I've got this? Sometimes I think not... I wonder if I'm crazy on a regular basis, but you can't be crazy if you think you're crazy right? RIGHT?

Hey Candy - you look great!  But I understand.

I feel the same about not liking my torso.  I still feel like the Pillsbury dough boy around the waist. Is it fat? is it skin? Hard to tell.  People tell me i look fine, but I don't trust their opinion.

 I obsessed about it until i did a real Body Fat analysis and found I was in a good range - I let that hard number be my guide - I don't feel I can trust my body image yet.  

Might help... when I feel like I'm still fat, I pull that piece of paper from my scan and look at it...(obviously I'm still obsessing about it a little, but I now have a security blanket to hold on to)

:)

-Tom