Checking in to say hello

I have missed seeing your posts here, and I am glad you are recovering from your back surgery. I remember you were in such pain at first, so I am happy you are getting to a better place with that. You are one strong woman, that is for sure.

And you are beautiful! I noticed your collar bones too, and your haircut is fabulous.

I'm sending you good thoughts for continued recovery!

Thanks. I think I forget where I came from with the back pain. I really was in in terrible shape before surgery and immediately after. Instead of one night, I was six nights in the hospital because they couldn't control the pain (and I refused to leave on day 5 because they had no good pain management plan). I needed that reminder.

I remember you posting about your uncontrolled pain and was so completely horrified for you. I am glad you are a long way from that place.

Yeah. I can't even describe the level of pain I was in. I remember truly honestly wanting to die so it would stop. Hubby felt so helpless because there were times I had a death grip on the bed and just cried  and screamed and cried. Ugh. That was so bad. But, it's over for now. I don't wi**** on anyone, but I made it through.

Hey, at least it made childbirth seem like it was a breeze. LOL! We think my body just went into overdrive because I'd been on pain meds for so long and other factors. I did apologize to the internist when I saw him at the office last visit. I said some REALLY nasty things to him. He smiled, hugged me and said it was his job and not to worry, they were actually glad I refused to leave in the end because it gave them more time to figure out a plan. I think at one point I screamed, "I don't give a flying **** what the insurance company will pay for, I'm not going any *#@)*(#$8 where until you dumbass people figure out why the hell I feel like I'm going to die at any ##$@#$# moment. Don't you people know what @#$@5$# you are #$#$% doing? Did you even fix my @#$#%#$ back? And stop #$$#%$ smiling at me, just fix this @#$#@ @$#@" or something equally horrible. I think I called him a jackass, fuckwad and a few other choice words. I was NOT in my right mind because I always am super respectful to doctors, they have a very hard job - as evidenced by dealing with me.

The one funny point was when hubby was trying to convince me that maybe going home was good and I jumped out of bed, in pain, and screamed he had to leave RIGHT NOW and NOT COME BACK. The nurse walked in to see what the hell was wrong with me, told me to lay down and I told her not until HE was gone and I had the right to kick him out, RIGHT? She looked at me, looked at Tom, started to walk out and I screamed at her and she said, "well, yes, but I'm going to come back in five minutes to see if you feel the same"

LOL.... yeah. She laughed about it with me the next day when they finally found the right pain med combo. I was MORTIFIED, of course.

Oh man, that truly sounds like hell on earth. I am sure the medical professionals have dealt with other people in such pain before and can take it. At least you KNOW to be respectful to them - unlike some people seem to be - you just couldn't at the moment. I am so glad your husband was supportive as well. 

You look very pretty!

Candy - so glad to see a post from you and hear you're doing well!  Love the haircut and you look BEAUTIFUL!  

Love the hair and the skinny thighs!!!! Good to read you! Don't be a stranger!

how lovely hearing from you, pretty girl!  I know just what  you're talking about with the tummy skin, - squishing that extra stuff into the front top of your pants- poo on it!  I think we're pretty close in hight and weight-  I just had a n extended TT (anchor cut)- still just now recovering- so hard to tell- but what I can say, is that it makes a HUGE diffrence NOT having all that in the front and the way my clothes fit.  I encourage you to continue to pursue the plastics-  the skin does not belong there anymore- begone--.  I hopefully will have my arms done and will call it good.  Could I tweek it more- sure, but moderation is good.  Your back will continue to heal- takes a while ( I've had two BS's- time does heal- slowly)  It does get better-continue to do the physical rehab that is necessary.  I pray health and happiness over you.  Bonnie

Thanks, Bonnie. As much as I want it done RIGHT NOW... I know waiting until Summer is the right choice. I don't think I could take another surgery recovery right now. LOL! But yes, that stomach has to go... Squishing it in is getting tiresome.