Why I chose "120" as my goal weight

I realize that for some people the number "120" seems REALLY REALLY low. SO I will explain why I chose this number.

Way back in the day before I got sick and had kids and gained all my weight... I weighed 104 pounds (and was 5'3).   I never gained weight. Ever. Had that "enviable" 36/26/36 stats going. In today's vanity sizing I would have worn about a size 2-ish. Yeah I was small. Then I got "broken". 

Well fast forward all the issues that got me fluffy, a few kids (the last one stretched my belly out to 53 inches) and alot of meds/steroids (which when on I grew two inches in height as an adult!)/etc..., plus just plain being "older"... I chose a "random" number that was higher than what I used to weigh all those years ago. I figure once I start getting into the 130's (maybe even 140's if I somehow look "boney") that I will get my body fat done (bod pod what have you). I will also asses what size clothes I am wearing, how I look and feel and how much muscle I have. I don't really believe in the BMI chart, but if I were to go by it I should weigh between 111lbs and 149lbs. Surgeon wanted me to shoot for 145, but he never saw what size I used to be.

I REALLY want to have more muscle than I did when I was "tiny" and "skinny fat"!!!!! So If I look and feel good at 150 or 130 or 110... I will roll with that. I can remember how I felt on the way "up" through those weights, and I was NOT happy. Asses every ten pounds once I hit 150... that's my plan.

And to be clear... I was not trying to brag in any way about my past. Was just stating what my facts were. I was much smaller so I figure I should shoot for much smaller. I am also not super tall nor am I big boned or have a normally athletic/muscle-y body type. I am however hoping that I will get/feel much better someday soon and can actually have REAL muscles and definition! I gaze adoringly at my Oxygen magazines. And yes I KNOW that takes MANY years of solid training! But if I can just get a tiny slice of that I would be HAPPY! 

Your rationale makes perfect sense. I'd say stick with it, see how you feel when you get there and reassess as necessary from there. 

Please consider the reason that you feel a need to justify your weight goal.  I am not saying this to upset you or to challenge you but to help you think about what is going on in your RL that might be derailing you or holding you back from going that "low".  I see nothing at all wrong with either your reasoning or your goal weight choice, but you hear a different voice (someone else's voice) in your head.  Figuring out who you hear and naming it, might be of great help to you.  Good luck and I really hope you read this response as I mean it, (with respect and hope and care).  

Elina voiced what I was thinking but didn't say in my response. Not sure where the doubt is coming from for you personally, but lately there does seem to be some backlash on this board for those of us who choose and maintain weight goals that are lower on the normal weight range spectrum. Your reasoning is completely valid and you do not need to justify it here or elsewhere. 

I don't think there's backlash against those who choose to maintain low-normal goals.

I think that some people DO have a problem when any of those "low-normal people" suggest, implicitly or otherwise, that people who cannot or do not follow suit are somehow less worthy.

Well, if you look further down in this thread, I see an example of what could be considered a backlash. Sure, it's oblique, in that it speaks to personal observations of such things as people asking if they have cancer and suggesting that only the very young look good super skinny. 

Maybe it's implied, and maybe I'm reading something there that isn't what the poster intended to say - in the same way that you could be wrong in your assumptions about implied messaging around setting higher goal weights.

So maybe neither of us fully understands. 

Sure, there's certainly room for misinterpretation on all sides. Internet communication is tricky.

But when there are board "idols" who have literally come out and told someone, "you may feel great in your size 8's, but being in a size 0 is even better?" (Translated: I'm better than you because I wear smaller pants!) THAT is precisely what I take issue with.

Yes, I roll my eyes when someone bemoans changing a maintenance weight from 105 to 112 because I (and probably many others) would have to amputate a limb to ever see 112, but that's their body, their decision, their situation, and not my place to judge. But when there is explicit language in aforementioned angst (and it has happened) that suggests that 112lb or the behavior associated with that level of maintenance is a terrible weight for ANYONE? Yeah, I take issue with that, especially when said person is held up as a role model.

We could be on completely different trains of thought. To each their own, in goal and in opinion. :)

Yes I suspect we are indeed on completely different trains of thought, partially dictated and colored by our life experiences. But we do agree on leaving each person to decide their goals. I'm good with that :)

Actually it was another post asking if I was going to get body fat testing done as my siggy says 120. I don't care what anyone else thinks and no one has attacked me AT ALL! I went and posted it on my blog and then I decided to copy and paste it here as I know most people do not have a "low" goal weight. Or at least very few on here post that they want to go under 140.

Figured I would throw it out there incase any lurkers were thinking it too. I came back a few minutes later thinking that I might have accidentally come off as "bragging" or "condescending" somehow so I wanted to clarify it so I hopefully wasn't taken the wrong way. It's hard to get that across on a forum. There are others who didn't gain until they were adults and that story doesn't get told as much. Figured I would throw it out. No justifying. 

I don't think anything is holding me back from that goal. I am still aiming for it. I just got off to a really rocky start with my complications and not being able to eat/drink/exercise like others. I am still losing weight every month, just not double digits. And I have avoided the hospital for a few months now!!! WOOOHOOO!!!!

But even though it's not super fast, I am doing it and I am going to keep going!