Letting your "freak" flag fly

This is from a Paleo/Primal blog, but I think it might apply to a lot of us who feel awkward and out of place living in a world of people with "normal" stomachs and standard American diets.  (Sorry that the formatting at the top is weird.)

 

Dear Mark,

I’m really having trouble keeping to the lifestyle that you suggest. I’ve been off and on the wagon in terms of diet and exercise, and I don’t know how to keep on track. The hardest challenge has been because all of my friends or family think I’m a freak. It makes me feel kinda lonely. What can I do?

A few weeks back, another reader asked a similar question about constantly falling off the wagon. She’d be strict for a couple weeks only to end up binging on junk food. Like clockwork, this happened every other week. My advice was to change her perception of those junk food days. Since they were going to happen anyway, thinking of them as “part of the plan” eliminated the stress and psychological fallout. It wasn’t failure; it was compromise. So that might work for you, but it might not. I suspect not.

I’m sensing that your real issue with all this is feeling alone. Like a “freak,” as you say. Believe me, I get it. Being Primal can make you an outsider, especially early on when you’re the guy who suddenly stops eating grains and sugar. Much of what we do runs directly counter to the norms. That scares people:

• Everyone’s chowing down on pizza and you’re there with your salad.
• You’re the only guy without expensive hiking boots on the trail. You might not even be wearing any shoes at all.
• At lunch in the break room, you self-consciously eat leftover grilled ribeye with steamed broccoli and butternut squash mash amidst a sea of Subway and frozen dinners.
• You politely pass on the birthday cake and double up on fruit.
• You’re at the track, running sprints and earning strange looks from joggers.
• You’re trying to plan dinner parties while your peers are still into late nights at the bars and clubs.

Sound familiar?

First off, don’t be a jerk about being Primal. Don’t make a face when they ask for fat-free dressing. Try not to sneer when someone squats in the Smith machine. Don’t wear Vibrams to the wedding. If a person challenges your grain-free and high-fat ways, go ahead and respond with sound, measured arguments; don’t belittle them. No one is beneath you. Make sure you’re not the one making people feel left out before you go blaming them. I doubt that’s the case, but I have to rule it out.

It’s tough, especially if you’re younger. And sadly no, it’s not just “in our heads.” Either you’re making them feel bad for eating junk or not exercising and they lash out, or you’re challenging the paradigm upon which their reality rests and they can’t deal with it. Some people really do look down on us for eating, exercising, and living differently. No one likes that feeling. No one wants to be ostracized by friends and family or the general public.

There’s really only one way to beat it: you have to let your freak flag fly. You just do.

I’m proud to be a freak in my own way. But extensive life experience residing firmly outside of the mainstream on many issues has made me comfortable there. At this point, I feel weird if I’m doing what everyone else is doing. You can get here, too, and you should. It’s a wonderful state of existence - being comfortable in your own skin.

But I’m not doing it alone. Beside me are my family, my friends, and this entire community of loyal, curious readers who also happen to be freaks in their own way. That makes it easier.

Whenever someone expresses feelings of exclusion, my thoughts turn to PrimalCon. For regular attendees, it’s a tribal gathering, a family reunion. For many first timers, PrimalCon is the only time they’ve felt at home. I know this because they tell me. They come up to me, or one of the team leaders, and gush about finally feeling like a part of something bigger. And you see it happening all throughout the weekend: a tribe of freaks forming, accepting new members. It’s a beautiful thing, and it sounds like precisely what you need.

You gotta find your tribe. You can’t do this alone.

I think paleo is a load of crap, but I like this article.

I find that paleo recipe blogs are a great resource for me right now.  So many of the recipes are very sleeve friendly.  Yum.  

Oh I absolutely agree, there are some fabulous high-protein/low-carb options out there! I just find the concept and label odd, I think this bit from Mother Jones sums it up nicely.

Thanks for the link.  From the Paleo blogs I follow, I get "eat real foods" more than anything else, which Pollan is a huge proponent of, as am I - but I tend to stay away from the real zealots.  They can be unpleasant when it comes to any lifestyle.  

There are arguments against Paleo, but that article doesn't contain a single one.  It's one big strawman. 

I love Mark Sisson.  I'm more than happy to follow the Primal plan for the rest of my life.  The only thing I don't agree with him on is my need for a supportive sneaker. 

Thanks for the article.  I really needed this today.