Thoughts on my ultimate goal weight

I apologize in advance if this is really rambly.  

A lot of the apps I use ask for a weight goal, so I figured I should find one.  I also wanted to be able to calculate my excess weight loss, which required me to figure out what excess weight actually is.  My research lead me to excess weight being the difference between current weight and "ideal weight."  And more research led me to ideal weight calculators.  I used those to pick a number for my ideal weight and that's how 120 became my ultimate weight goal for all the apps I use.  

I'm 5'4".  120 is a nice number, and I like nice numbers.  It also gives me a weight loss of 200 pounds, which is another nice number.  (Although it would be nicer if it was smaller, eh?)  

I've never worried about whether or not 120 is attainable.  I figured that I'd reevaluate once I got closer and, truth be told, I had no concept at all of what my body was going to be like once I got much below 250.  Which is another reason choosing a goal number was a challenge.  

On Tuesday night, I had a choir concert, and my bff and I were commiserating about our silly mothers.  (We love our moms very much, but sometimes they do strange things especially regarding our weights!)  My bff is the same height as I am, and she said that she weighs 150.  I was stunned.  She is GORGEOUS.  She's got a rocking body.  She's strong.  She swims and runs and bikes and does yoga.  She's amazing and, in my opinion, totally perfect.  

And she weighs 30 pounds more than what I've come to think of as my goal weight.  

I'm not sure that this changes anything for me, but it's really given me a lot to think about.  In some ways, it was a huge revelation.  In some ways, it's set my brain into a spin thinking about goals.  

To quote Keanu Reeves - woah.  

150 is considered overweight by bmi standards, just goes to show those numbers doesn't give the whole picture. You rock Gwen!, 120 might be too low just going by all the exercise that you do, muscle weighs more than fat anyway. I'd rather be strong  & " a little overweight" than thin & soft.

I'm glad you aren't super tied to a number.  I weigh between 171-176 depending on the day.  Some people might think OMG that is big.  At the doctors the other day the nurses were like omg you are so tiny!  (not the WLS doctors - the hospital - wound care).  Weight is a number.  When you are heavy for a long time your body adjusts to carry that weight.  Stronger / denser bones, stronger muscles. 

I did the full Dexa body weight / fat testing.  It showed that while I'm in the "overweight category" (when i'm over 174) I'm not overfat -- I just have dense bones and lots of muscle.  

Be happy & be healthy!  Weight is a number :)

I'm 5'6" and I've also given this goal weight thing a lot of thought, although I'm much earlier in the game than you, Gwen. At my lowest weight about 12 years ago, I was 148. People told me I was thin. Photos of me showed I looked 'thin.' And 148 was pretty tough to maintain. So, when I hear you say 120 as a goal weight, I think that is a very low number! And I think it's astute of you to look at your best friend and her cute physique and realize that 150 looks nice and is considered healthy. Whatever number you ultimately decide, it is great that you won't get hung up on THAT number. And you'll figure out which weight is YOUR right weight. You are so encouraging and sweet on OH posts, Gwen, that I hope you find your happy, healthy weight! Having a goal and setting your sights on a number can be motivational, but you are right not to get too hung up on it. Along the way, remember how much of an inspiration you are to all of us!

I snorted reading that you quoted the great Keanu. 

In all seriousness, 120 is tiny.  Giselle weighs 120. I think when we are heavier, we assume everyone who is skinny must weigh nothing.  That's simply not true.  And was already mentioned, you work out a LOT.  And muscle is heavy.  A bangin hot 150 lbs with parkour strength sounds pretty freaking amazing. 

Just like those realizations we have about our relationships with food, this is a realization about your relationship with weight (and don't get me started on the societal/feminist aspect of the weight relationship).  I'm glad you discovered that in yourself.  We don't put ourselves through this torture to then sit around like shrinking violets.  We want our lives back.  And something tells me you're going to want at least 150 pounds of life.

I think you've got it figured out Gwen, and have the right attitude about it.

My first goal weight I picked because it was the last weight where I felt in good condition, though I was still overweight. When I somehow went sailing past that, I aimed for the mid to upper "normal" BMI range, and have been there for almost a year and a half now.

Stacy had a good point. Everything gets bigger when we were morbidly obese. Bones, muscles, internal organs, skin, everything. So we can end up a good size, but higher weight than someone who was never SMO. Most of us will end up with 6 or 7 pounds of extra skin. Just that alone is over one full point on the BMI scale, and can push you from healthy to overweight, or overweight to obese, etc. I suspect that heavier bones, organs, etc can weigh more than the extra skin.

I still get surprised by how much some on here weigh. Nikki, for instance, is usually in the 190s, and I would never in a million years guess that. She could clean up at the "guess your weight" booth at the carnival.

So goals are nice, but if you get to a place where you are comfortable, ignore the number, declare victory, and move on. Goals just supply a target, not something to make you insane. Not that I think you would, but I have seen many obsessed by the number, and one or two pound fluctuations. One or two pounds used to be extra condiments for most of us.

I've said before I plucked by goal weight out of the thin air because my surgeon doesn't give them. I just picked a number about 10 pounds below my lowest high school weight I could remember and voila-I got 165. I'm 5'4", so I'm sure some here are recoiling in horror over how fat I still am. You know to whom I am referring.

Once I started getting close to my goal, I also started getting my body fat tested, because it's a good measure of health. When I had it tested last year, I had just hit goal (those last 20 pounds came off at the speed of slug). At 165, my body fat was 28%. I'm aiming for 25% or less, so we'll see what it is in February or March, when I go again.

My point to all this is that the number on the scale is one measurement, but there are others that are important as well. I'm not discouraging you from your goal, but you may find that at say, 140 for example, you are quite lean and you don't want to lose any more because your body fat is in the athletic range and you are fit and strong.

I had to chuckle when you wrote that 120 would give you an even 200 pound loss Gwen. I ended up losing 290, and often thought that losing an even 300 would have been cool. Cool, you know, in s sick, distorted way.

My high weight was 475, with a 59 BMI. I scold myself for being lazy. I could have easily got those numbers up to 500 pounds and a BMI over 60. I would be much more impressed if I had.

Goal weight is tough, especially the more EWL there is to go. I love that you wrote that you couldn't imagine what you would look like under 250, let alone at 120. I totally can relate to that. I am still 50 pounds heavier than i was in high school, albeit far too thin back then. I feel just fine about living at the top of the bmi scale for my height. I feel great and move great (surgical issues aside anyway). Could I lose more or pehaps more aptly should I? I am not really sure. My docs are happy, I am happy. At some point might I lose more? Perhaps. That is just not the place I am in right now, and where I am living is just fine. Look for your fine place to live too, wherever that may turn out to be! 

Woah! Ha! I think it's great to set a goal, but I also think it's okay to revaluate and change your goal along this journey. You may feel strong, wonderful, lean, etc at 140 and then again you may want to get 120. Goals are great but don't be afraid to change it!! Work it girl!