How do you deal with not hitting goal

Lemily
on 12/11/14 9:47 pm
VSG on 01/16/14

Hey everyone.

So, I could never imagine almost 11 months ago writing this but it seems that month to month brings different emotions and different challenges. I am at one of those points. From the beginning I was never given a goal weight and always had in my mind that I wanted to be at 145, which would mean I would lose 101 pounds. Back in July at my 6 month visit, my surgeon advised me he wants me at 160. And he is over the moon happy with my BMI at 26.4 - that I am totally healthy and normal.

I achieved this back in October and actually have been weighing within a 4 pound range of 158-162 - which I am find with maintaining if that's my destiny. My issue is, and maybe its just mental, I still have that 145 in my mind and don't feel like a full success until I hit it.

Those of you who have gotten to a point and have maintained that weight but never hit your own goal, is there anything you did to get that scale moving again or can offer any techniques to finally accept where you are at?

Let me preface that I am very happy with where I am at and I am not obsessed with this. I am over the moon that I am maintaining at this point and not creeping back up. However, I would still like to drop that extra 15 but if this is my reality, im ready to accept it, just need advice on how others dealt with it as well.

Thanks!

Meredith

    
Stacy_WLS
on 12/11/14 10:00 pm

I had a similar thing -- they never gave me a goal weight but I kind of just pulled 170 out of the sky.  I have never hit it -- I've gotten to 171.  I thought 180 was my "freak out" point, but then it was 178 then it was 176... so I don't know.  I'm not dieting.  I'm enjoying a drink here and there.  I'm very much aware of my weight everyday.  170 is just a number.  I'm happy with how I look, but it would be nice to see 169 at some point.  

 

So i'm not too much help.  I think just stay on top of what you have been doing and enjoy where you are.  Fighting for a random goal might not be worth it b/c you could end up with a higher backslide... (over restriction / binge cycle)

VSG: 12/12/13, LBL, small TL, BL/BA: 11/7/14 Twins 12/9/18 HW after Twins 260. 5'10 37 years old - Stacy_WLS (MFP)

Lemily
on 12/11/14 10:39 pm
VSG on 01/16/14

Stacy - this is a tremendous help! I know that our surgeries were around the same time so I figured there were others around the same point as me. Its nice to know that Im not alone in my feelings. Im genuinely happy about where I am at, and like you, I have a drink now and then, I know my limits, and overall I am making smarter choices on a daily basis.  Thanks for your feedback!

    
mmsmom
on 12/11/14 11:02 pm - Woburn, MA

same situation here - never given a goal - hit 133 (I think) at the surgeon and he said, "I'm good with your weight.  Your labs are perfect."  I have always thought 125 to be my personal goal.  I'm at 129 now and, in my head, won't be where I want to be until the scale says 125.  Logically, I know I probably won't look or feel any different but I want to get there.  I also am not setting any time restrictions on myself.  I think like those who slip on a few pounds, what works is going back to basics and/or looking back on your food log to the time when you were losing steadily - and going back to that, which is tough once you have started eating more to maintain.  Good luck - you have done awesome.

VSG on 04/28/2014

Lemily
on 12/11/14 11:28 pm
VSG on 01/16/14

Thanks for your insights. It's very helpful. I was thinking about going back to logging good and see what happens. That could make the difference. For me personally, I don't want to ever think I am in "maintenance" if that makes sense. That was always my demise...looking at weight loss as a finality vs. ongoing change of life.

You have done awesome too!

    
Stacy_WLS
on 12/12/14 12:36 am

I totally agree with this.  I'm not really changing anything or switching my mindset to maintenance.  I am always going to track -- sometimes more closely.  seriously for the rest of my life.  I know myself and if I'm not careful those peanuts after work will turn into a mountain of junk food!  

this way of eating is forever.

VSG: 12/12/13, LBL, small TL, BL/BA: 11/7/14 Twins 12/9/18 HW after Twins 260. 5'10 37 years old - Stacy_WLS (MFP)

frisco
on 12/11/14 11:51 pm

Bottom line.... ultimate goal weight is personal.

The key to no head trips is to find a weight and own it..... the wishy washy thing will/can drive you bonkers.

I didn't really have to think to much about it and just stayed in WL mode till my surgeon said "Stop, your done.... now hold that weight for a year"

What helped and I've had a few others do this is to break it down to 5lbs. goals to lose the the last 15-20lbs.

The part your not going to want to hear is that to lose the last weight it can get pretty ugly. You pretty much discovered your maintenance levels. To lose the last weight you would most likely have to drop your daily calories by about 400cals. which many aren't willing to do. It's a knock down drag out....... but in my opinion it is well worth it just to "know".

I'm also a big fan of going 5-10lbs. under you ultimate weight because it helps in having a softer landing to a weight. Your more likely to be able to hold a weight that is a few pounds over your lowest.

The reality is that once you establish and own the number you come up with...... This is where the hard part really begins and makes WL look easy... to maintain a goal weight is much harder than the WL and it is forever !!!! Maintenance is an ongoing series of checks, balances and adjustment.

Hope this helps,

frisco

SW 338lbs. GW 175lbs. Goal in 11 months. CW 148lbs. WL 190lbs.

          " To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art "

                                      VSG Maintenance Group Forum
                  
 http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/VSGM/discussion/

                                           CAFE FRISCO at LapSF.com

                                                      Dr. Paul Cirangle

Lemily
on 12/11/14 11:59 pm
VSG on 01/16/14

Definitely helps! Thanks Frisco!

    
TiaHa49
on 12/12/14 5:15 pm - Cleveland, OH

Hi there Frisco and ALL,

Im in a quandary of sorts and this thread is right up the alley of my quandary. 

First off Im glad to see you and Kairk popping out more often!  I wish we'd hear more from Elina, ACH and many of the others.  At 20 mos out it STILL helps to read what ya'll have to say.  I still learn.

Ive picked sooo many goal weights along the way tho honestly my original goal...my dream... was 170lbs.  Im 5'8 and coming from 350lbs at sleeve surgery(486 at band) 170 just seemed right.  My surgeons goal for me was 197.  So, I understand what youre saying about 5-10lbs under goal.  I hit 138.25 2nd week of Nov and I was happy right there.  I saw my surgeon who told me labs etc were good but don't lose another pound.  Ok well...work got swamped, we're short and this part timer ended up working 8 days in a row, 1 off, 1 on, 1 off then 8 days in a row and did this since first week in Nov. Matter of fact I was on my 7th day when I went to see my surgeon.  Some how, and we are not sure how, I gained weight. I stayed true to my plan food wise.  I wasn't getting enough liquids, not sleeping enough which plays a major role in my weight and was more stressed, sad,upset than I thought possible.  I finally told my boss id had enough and my weekend, sat/sun, off was coming up.  I told her I needed Mon, tues, wed off to put my life back together etc.  I consulted my RD and my surgeons PA whom I adore.  They both said the same thing...stress/not taking care of me.  Now my schedule is more normal and I continue to journal and mfp.  Im following my plan still and the weight is coming off pretty quickly.  Im much more relaxed/sane.   Im almost to the 138 mark again.  So, if 138 is my personal goal, do I continue to lose 5-10 more for space or do I stay at 138?  Im trying to keep in mind that I am 5'8.   I guess I don't know where I 'should' be.  

Also, was this weight gain reality regain or?  I probably shouldn't be so confused at 20 mos out but dang I surely am!

Any help would be much appreciated, as always.  Im still in the 5-800 cals, 70+ protein and my pre albumin is low and has been, under 40 carbs total.  I get approx.  15-17/8oz cups of sf liquid daily. 

Any thoughts from anybody are appreciated.

tia   

frisco
on 12/12/14 7:59 pm
On December 13, 2014 at 1:15 AM Pacific Time, TiaHa49 wrote:

Hi there Frisco and ALL,

Im in a quandary of sorts and this thread is right up the alley of my quandary. 

First off Im glad to see you and Kairk popping out more often!  I wish we'd hear more from Elina, ACH and many of the others.  At 20 mos out it STILL helps to read what ya'll have to say.  I still learn.

Ive picked sooo many goal weights along the way tho honestly my original goal...my dream... was 170lbs.  Im 5'8 and coming from 350lbs at sleeve surgery(486 at band) 170 just seemed right.  My surgeons goal for me was 197.  So, I understand what youre saying about 5-10lbs under goal.  I hit 138.25 2nd week of Nov and I was happy right there.  I saw my surgeon who told me labs etc were good but don't lose another pound.  Ok well...work got swamped, we're short and this part timer ended up working 8 days in a row, 1 off, 1 on, 1 off then 8 days in a row and did this since first week in Nov. Matter of fact I was on my 7th day when I went to see my surgeon.  Some how, and we are not sure how, I gained weight. I stayed true to my plan food wise.  I wasn't getting enough liquids, not sleeping enough which plays a major role in my weight and was more stressed, sad,upset than I thought possible.  I finally told my boss id had enough and my weekend, sat/sun, off was coming up.  I told her I needed Mon, tues, wed off to put my life back together etc.  I consulted my RD and my surgeons PA whom I adore.  They both said the same thing...stress/not taking care of me.  Now my schedule is more normal and I continue to journal and mfp.  Im following my plan still and the weight is coming off pretty quickly.  Im much more relaxed/sane.   Im almost to the 138 mark again.  So, if 138 is my personal goal, do I continue to lose 5-10 more for space or do I stay at 138?  Im trying to keep in mind that I am 5'8.   I guess I don't know where I 'should' be.  

Also, was this weight gain reality regain or?  I probably shouldn't be so confused at 20 mos out but dang I surely am!

Any help would be much appreciated, as always.  Im still in the 5-800 cals, 70+ protein and my pre albumin is low and has been, under 40 carbs total.  I get approx.  15-17/8oz cups of sf liquid daily. 

Any thoughts from anybody are appreciated.

tia   

First, thanks for the props. Things are different around here and many great sleevers have tuned out the noise by not participating anymore.

I read your post..... snooped through your photos and recognized that I've followed your progress.

One word...... "Perfection" !!!!!

Your at a 21 BMI which is right there and since you have a close relationship with your bariatric group, working with them on your eventual weight and maintenance would be the best way to go.

My opinion....... your already under that little bit and I agree with your doctor.

For you to maintain 138-143lbs. for a year would be a great goal. And look at 150lbs. as a long term ceiling.

Learning about tolerances and variables along the way are going to be key. Your stress experience is an example and you just need to remember how the situation effected you..... but be warned and the messed up part, things change and the same situation may yield a different response.

Bottom line..... Perfect !!!

Work with your doctor to get that prealbumin level up.

Great work !

frisco

SW 338lbs. GW 175lbs. Goal in 11 months. CW 148lbs. WL 190lbs.

          " To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art "

                                      VSG Maintenance Group Forum
                  
 http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/VSGM/discussion/

                                           CAFE FRISCO at LapSF.com

                                                      Dr. Paul Cirangle

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