Checking in to keep myself focused!

Hi all!  I hope everyone's holiday season is off to a healthy start!  I'm holding strong heading into this week of temptation.  The season is harder than I expected emotionally.  I've made consistently healthy choices since surgery, and I'm not about to stop!  BUT, emotionally, it's been tough.  My addiction and old habits are tapping me on the shoulder and mocking me, and it's been hard to accept that they're still there.  I haven't given in, though!  I know it's not worth it, and for the first time in my life, reminding myself of that actually works.  I'm hosting Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and even though I'm building in healthy choices, it's still emotionally hard to plan for foods I won't eat.  I have one favorite savory (no sugar) indulgence, and I have my nutritionist's blessing to have one.  I'm confident I can stop at that.  

Anyway, all my Christmas baking and preps today have me feeling especially sad and emotional and missing my old binging, so I thought I should say it out loud (so to speak) so I can own it and not get trapped by it!  My husband has been fabulous listening and supporting me, I just needed to own it here to keepyself focused.

Thank you to this community for all of the strength and support you give to all the members!  

Hang in there!  In the recovery community there's some sentiment around being grateful to our addictions - they got us through the hard times, and brought us to where we are today.  Not sure I'm quite ready to "thank" the sugar monkey on my back (which is smaller but still there, have to say, some days quieter than others) -- there are times when I miss bingeing, it was SO comforting.  After I quit smoking, decades ago, I remember feeling like the first thing I'd do if given only a few months to live would be to light up.  I no longer feel that way about cigarettes, but definitely still do about sugar.  Maybe someday the sugar monkey will go live with the cigarette monkey and leave me alone, LOL.

Now that I'm in maintenance, Christmas dinner is one of the times of the year (Thanksgiving and my birthday being the others), when I allow a few bites of some kind of dessert.  It can be a slippery slope, but I have discovered that if I'm fairly full from the main meal, the small amount of sugar doesn't set me up for craving.

Keep up the good fight!  :-)

Being in touch is important for me, so it's great you're hanging around. Stay dialed in.

You're on the right track. Keep going. One foot in front of the other.