So much for support

Although I am 49 yrs old my mom still has a lot of influence on my life.  She was aloft me having VSG surgery. She's financing actually.  So she's all excited I'm close to losing 40 pounds . And so it begins.... Maybe you dont need surgery after all?  Can't you just take a pill like u are now?  Why do you think just because u have surgery you won't want to eat pizza and pasta all the time again? I'm afraid you'll have surgery and still gain it back!  There has to be another option besides  surgery!  So tell her. The part of your stomach with the hormones that make you hungry will be gone.  I tell her with a smaller stomach you can only fit so much.  And she is 73 and has fought weight her whole life just like I have. I have just gained about 150 pounds more than she ever has.  She says she will support my decision if I do or don't have surgery.  And this is why I second guess every decision I have made my whole life.  If you can't help a positive helpful advice or suggestions please do t bother to reply.  Thanks in advance for any and all friendly replies

I received the same comments and concerns from my family and friends.  I didn't just make a flip decision,  I researched and actually met with 3 different doctors.    I am pleased so far and I know this requires committment just as any successful journey.  Good luck

I know even at 49 you want to make your Mom proud and that you want her support and love but you have to take those things she says with a grain of salt.

Moms can be overbearing, doubtful and over protective at times. And I'm sure she feels somehow responsible for your weight gain. If you can look deep and understand where the negativity is coming from, it will put your mind at ease.

Mom doesn't want you to be unhappy, she doesn't want you to feel like a failure, she's worried, she's scared for you...just take all the emotions you're feeling and multiply them by 2 and that's what she's feeling.

I'm sure she doesn't mean any harm. Ease her mind by letting her know you've done your research, stand firm by letting her know you're going through with it regardless of her apprehensions, and let her know you need her support more than anything else. 

You can do this! (((Hugs))) to you and good luck. I really hope Mom comes around. 

Tanya

Oh moms.  We love them but sometimes they can drive us crazy!  

Just keep reaffirming the decision you've made to her.  Eventually, but maybe not until after you've had surgery, she'll accept it.  Are you seeing a therapist?  Mine has really given me some great ideas about how I deal with my parents.  

I agree with Tanya H., best advice ever because it is true!  Mothers, yours included, want only the best.  But that doesn't mean they will always know what "the best" is.  She IS proud of you AND afraid for you, for all the things that can go wrong both in surgery and after.  Afraid YOU may not be aware of everything included because she sure isn't.

Comfort her fears, ask for her support and follow through with your decision.  This is what will make her be the support you need, by supporting yourself first.

I completely understand what you're going through.  My parents both said the same things.  My dad: Would you feel satisfied knowing you can only eat small portions for the rest of your life? All you have to do is burn more calories than you eat, why don't you just keep trying?  My mom:  Isn't it easier to just diet and lose weight the normal way? 

What you have to realize is that your mom is acting this way because she cares.  This is a serious surgery and no parent wants to see their child go through that.  But all you can do is reassure her that you're doing this for your health and long term success.  Once you have the surgery and you show her how great you're doing all of her worries will fade away and they'll be replaced by happiness and pride.  After seeing my success so far my parents couldn't be happier for me.

Hang in there.  *Hugs* Don't second guess yourself about this.  You will come to find that having the surgery is the BEST decision you've ever made for yourself!