Facing feeding the family after your VSG

HoosierRN
on 8/1/15 4:57 pm

VSG 7/27 and I feel great physically! But am just about in tears smelling the food, and cooking for my family. For example: just made cupcakes and iced them for my nephew's bday, also tonight everyone cooking out and roasting hot dogs and s'mores, and last night cooking supper for family and watching them eat, and night before everyone going out to eat without me.....

Yes, I certainly chose this and I envisioned how I would handle it, I'd psyched myself up for such occasions, BUT it sure as heck is different in real life....Any ideas or suggestions are greatly appreciated!!!

Becky

Gwen M.
on 8/1/15 5:00 pm
VSG on 03/13/14

For me, this is pretty much a non-issue since my family eats what I cook, and I cook what I eat. I will occasionally make a carb that I don't eat, like rice and pasta, but those things don't call to me. We also go out to eat together since there are things I can eat pretty much every where. 

And, let's face it, the things that are bad for me to eat are usually bad for my family to eat as well. 

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

HoosierRN
on 8/1/15 5:13 pm

I know I can deal with it much better down the road when I can eat real food again, but this initial shock is quite an eye-opener! 

Gwen M.
on 8/1/15 5:26 pm
VSG on 03/13/14

Heh. When I was on liquids, my family had to fend for themselves. I didn't cook anything. I was so happy when I got to puréed foods since it meant I got to cook again and eat with my family!

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

Cardamom
on 8/1/15 5:10 pm

I had my surgery on 7/20 and find that if it's really bad, I go brush my teeth.  It's a pretty good deterrent to putting anything else in my mouth at that moment.  I was cooking pasta for my son and automatically went to go test if it was done by putting it in my mouth.  had to spit it right out in the sink.  oops!  accidents will happen.  Just need to stay focused.  

SW:218 Surgery Weight: 204 on 7/20 M1:178.5 (-25.5) M2:164.5 (-14) M3:151 (-13.5) M4:144 (-7) M5:138.8 (-5)  CW:131.6  GW:130

E_Saenz
on 8/1/15 6:25 pm - Grand Rapids , MI
VSG on 08/12/15

I'm still pre op and on a special diet however I still cook for my other half it is hard not to taste for flavor when you can not have it but i did just a drop and man I know I'm gonna make one of the things post op But i don't mind he works and I'm home for now.

Elia Maria Saenz
    

Shel25
on 8/1/15 6:57 pm

Food plays so many roles in life.  I felt a fair amount of loss and grief with the the changes VSG brought.  A couple of things have helped me: 

1) I try to reframe the situation as practice.  As in, "now I will practice having a good time with the people I love without party food" or "now I will practice working at the computer without snacks."   Since I am further out, I have more food options than you, but it will simply never be the same as it was pre-op.  I am so weary of being fat (!!!!) so that is a trade off I am willing to make although I do have to constantly remind myself of this.

2) The pre-op psychologist advised that I not worry about cooking for my family (husband and teenager) for a long time.  I protested that I like to cook and without me they eat terrible.  He said I should find a non-food hobby and it is high time for my teenager to choose to eat healthy.  OMG, I can not describe what those two were like once released from my cooking. I would watch them with equal parts judgement and jealousy.  Over time, my teen has shown more interest in preparing healthy, simple meals for herself.  And, of course, sometimes as a group we do a meal together.  But, I don't worry about organizing it very often, particularly while I am still in the weight loss stage. 

It will get easier!   

 

HW:361 SW:304 (VSG 12/04/2014)Mo 1:-32  Mo 2:-13.5  Mo 3: -13.5  Mo 4 -9.5  Mo 5: -15  Mo 6: -15  Mo 7: -13.5  Mo 8: -17  Mo 9: -13  Mo 10: -12.5  11/3/2015 Healthy BMI Reached Mo 11: -9  Mo 12: -8    12/27/2015 Goal Weight Reached!

HoosierRN
on 8/2/15 6:42 pm

Thank you! Very wise and encouraging words!

diane S.
on 8/2/15 11:20 am

It must be hard cooking for kids.  my surgery was 10 days before thanksgiving and i just skipped it.  stayed home and told everyone to have fun.

Think of your feelings as greiving for food - understandable but you will get past it. I wouldn't skip social stuff - go out to dinner but just order a glass of skim milk.  as you get to solid food, always have something appropriate to take to a party and fluids to sip.  If making cupcakes is too hard, buy them or ask to be excused from cupcake duty this year.  ask for support and a little help from your family to do cooking.  it will get better.  diane


      
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poplargreys
on 8/2/15 11:51 am
VSG on 03/31/15

The first few weeks after surgery are the worst, because you're dealing with the super strict post-op food rules that are put in place to let your body heal, and it takes time for your head to start catching up with what has happened. I went out to eat with my family the night after I was released from the hospital and nursed a cup of broth while they had a big dinner, and yeah, it totally sucked because I was remembering how I used to enjoy meals like that... but that's how I ended up weighing 315lbs by the time I was 30! It does get easier as time passes (or at least it has for me) and once you are eating normal proteins and seeing the changes in your body it becomes much more rewarding to stay on track than it ever was to have a big BBQ dinner and s'mores, I promise :)

Do you have support groups you can rely on to help you through this transition, or a therapist that is experienced in dealing with WLS patients?

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