Need motivation and guidance...failing and depressed!

LWillowwood
on 2/6/16 6:05 am - Pikeville, TN

Hi all...I haven't posted in a LONG while. I'm nearly 4 years out from surgery now and never reached goal weight. I lost 70 pounds initially but have gained 20 back. So only lost 50 overall and am holding steady at this weight for months now. I wanted to lose 50 more pounds from where I am now.

I am afraid that I have restretched my stomach because I can eat quite a bit-not add much as before, but still alot more than the first few months after surgery.

I seem plagued by diverticulitis attacks during which I can only eat things that I shouldn't for weight loss...i.e. mashed potatoes, cream soups, rice, bread...this is what the doctors recommend to me...But I know it's the wrong stuff...plus it renews my "taste" for those foods and I start craving them when the attack is over.

I also have progressive MS which makes it hard to exercise - MS Wheebles wobble but they DO fall down lol! (and if you got that, you're showing your age) Weight loss would be easier if I could go for walks, keep my balance to exercise, or drive the hour to get to town to go swimming - but I can't do any of those things anymore...so I have to just manage on diet alone...and I'm failing...

These may sound like excuses...but they're not. They're my life. It's really frustrating to be at this point. When I was 24, I lost 153 lbs on diet and exercise alone...and now that I'm 55 and immobile, I've stretched the family finances to pay for a VSG myself cause it wasn't covered by insurance...and I feel like I've wasted that money cause I'm not at or below goal 4 years later. :-(

I was hoping that I could get some ideas or tips or maybe how you got over a struggle like this. We live very remote so I can't get to a "live" support group.

And please...if you have anything mean to say...don't say it! Believe me, I have said enough mean things to myself...I don't need your meanness too. Plus I think that there is more nastiness in the world than we need, I'm trying to invoke more kindness personally. I'm just looking for constructive ideas or support to get to goal. 

Thanks in advance to anyone who takes the time from their day to respond :-)

Daelcare
on 2/6/16 6:42 am - Easley, SC
VSG on 10/27/14

Well....don't beat yourself up quite so hard!  You've lost 50 pounds and maintained that for the past 4 years, so that's a real plus!  Now it's time to get back on track.  Yes, you should exercise...but surprise...it's not the most important thing for weight loss!  You need to get back to basics...count/log every thing that you put in your mouth; get a minimum of 64 oz of water daily (getting rid of that will give you a bunch of exercise); minimum of 60 gms of protein daily (and at this point it won't matter if that is from protein shakes).  As to my limited knowledge of diverticulitis, if you will stick to protein, it should not bother it.  Clean out the pantry and kitchen and stock up on the stuff that you know you should be having.  If you've forgotten, get your original surgery info out and go back to the beginning.  All that being said, I know how hard it is to give up the additional calories once you get used to them!  This journey is a long one and takes time and commitment...you already did that when you committed your resources to the surgery, now give it the time, starting now.  You can do this....and visit this forum often...everyone either has, or will be, in the same spot you are and we all want to help you and others that may slip from time to time.  Best of luck!

 

5'5" 64 year old; HW 219; SW 199; CW 129; GW 145ish (original)...now on to "ideal" (138)...got that...now a few spare (132)...got that one, too! Now for the 120's!! Made them...now for the "dream" weight...125! Well, that one's proving to be a little tougher!

White Dove
on 2/6/16 8:58 am - Warren, OH

Everyone's stomach is bigger after about a year.  We would starve to death if that did not happen.  We can all eat a normal amount of food once our pouch or sleeve is a mature size.

The secret is time.  It will take you about a year to lose 50 pounds.  But if you don't do it, the year will go by anyway and you will still be 50 pounds overweight.

Exercise is nice and wonderful, but does not really matter much.  Protein is preferable, but does not matter that much.  Ditto with the support group.

What does matter is calories.  You have to count them and you have to eat 3,500 less calories to lose one pound.  When I want to lose weight I stay to a strict 900 calorie a day diet.  That is 500 less per day than I need to maintain and 3500 in a week.  I lose one pound a week.

I use the awesome app My Fitness Tracker to track food and water.  I also wear a tracking device for steps taken per day.  I have a kitchen scale to weigh my food before eating and I weigh myself every morning.  I believe those tools are essential for lasting weight loss.  I think of weight control as my job.  When I have weight to lose I mark the calendar in advance with the weight I want to obtain for each week.

It keeps me aware of my goal.  I will never again have the metabolism I had in my 20's.  Then I could lose eight pounds a week, almost by thinking about it.  Now I have to work hard to lose a pound.  Give yourself a weekly goal and watch the magic happen.

 

Real life begins where your comfort zone ends

acbbrown
on 2/6/16 9:08 am - Granada Hills, CA

I highly recommend looking into Overeaters Anonymous. It is helping me lose a substantial regain. While meetings are nice, you can also attend meetings over the phone or online. It has seriously changed my whole life in ways it's hard to explain. If you want to know, I'm happy to chat with you. 

www.sexyskinnybitch.wordpress.com - my journey to sexy skinny bitch status

11/16/12 - Got my Body by Sauceda - arms, Bl/BA, LBL, thigh lift. 


HW 420/ SW 335 /CW 200    85 lbs lost pre-op / 135 post op
  
~~~~Alison~~~~~

 

Grim_Traveller
on 2/6/16 9:35 am
RNY on 08/21/12

Everything White Dove said. Except she meant to type MyFitnessPal.

Some people exercise like fiends, others don't, or can't. Some have MS, thyroid conditions, PCOS, etc, others don't. The point is, whatever each of us has, or does, there are a certain number of calories we need to maintain our weight. Whatever your number is, going 500 per day below that will average one pound per week loss. If you don't want to cut back that much, cut 250 calories a day, and lose a half pound per week. Or, decide you don't want to cut back at all, and find a way to be happy at your current weight. There are lots of choices.

Just remember, the scale will not reward you each and ever day, or week. Some weeks, the scale won't budge. Stick to the plan. The plan isn't easy, but the concept is simple. It's just hard work.

6'3" tall, male.

Highest weight was 475. RNY on 08/21/12. Current weight: 198.

M1 -24; M2 -21; M3 -19; M4 -21; M5 -13; M6 -21; M7 -10; M8 -16; M9 -10; M10 -8; M11 -6; M12 -5.

ipray
on 2/6/16 9:55 am
VSG on 11/06/14

You are not alone.  There are many people who have struggled and not met their goals for various reasons.  The great thing is that you have admitted it and have reached out for help.  You have lost 50 lbs. and kept it off so you know that you have the ability to do it.  Just learn from those who have walked in your shoes and reach out here whenever you need advice.  If at first you don't suceed, try, try again.  And don't reflect on your failures, but imbrace your successes.  All the best! 

    

Mary Gee
on 2/6/16 3:49 pm - AZ
VSG on 05/14/14

It's not easy to recommit, but it can be done.  You may fail a few times, but if you're determined to lose weight, it will "click".  I lost a bunch of weight, then fell into the carb trap - started eating bread, and it caused major problems.  I did not gain any weight, but I stopped losing.  I tried to get on track, and failed several times...doing well for 2-3 days and then going back to the bad habits.  But finally, I'm back on track for several weeks now.  I'm losing weight again, but not as quickly as before because I'm now 18 months post-op.  

There are times I want to kick myself because it I had stayed the course, I probably would have been at goal by now.  But I accept the fact I will reach goal by being back on program.  I pre-plan meals, I weigh and measure, I track on MyFitnessPal, and I stick to the numbers -- Calories: up to 800; Carbs: less than 40; Protein: at least 65; Water: at least 64 oz.  Sticking to the plan is the only way I will reach goal.  

Best of luck to you.

       

 HW: 380 SW: 324 GW: 175  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(deactivated member)
on 2/6/16 7:20 pm

Hi! 

First, there is no shame in regain. It happens. It is hard to admit and accept when it happens to you. Having walked in your shoes, I know exactly what you're going through. I have been successfully losing my regain and have only 10 +/-  more pounds to go before I am back to goal range. I'm also 4 years out. And honestly, if I can do it, so can you. 

I have written a lot of posts about my regain and my road back from it. Feel free to go and read my posts. There might be something in them you find helpful. 

At four years out, it's a bit more involved than "going back to basics". There are some stages you might want to consider before trying the 800 calorie,

Hislady
on 2/6/16 8:43 pm - Vancouver, WA

I know exactly what it feels like because I have horrible arthritis in my back, in fact I have fractured it doing absolutely nothing! It is very fragile so I really can't exercise at all. I spend most of my day sitting in my bed but what I do is wiggle a lot, I tap my feet to music on the tv or dance sitting on the bed just doing arm movements. Anything to move my body now I KNOW this is not going to burn calories but it does keep your muscles moving and helps strengthen them, just don't expect to lose weight from it. It's good for you anyway!

Now that said, diet is far more important than exercise to lose the weight. Myself I'm a firm believer in the old Atkins diet plan where you only eat 20 grams of carbs a day period. So that means mainly meat and a few non starchy veggies. If the meat it a little too hard to get down then take some of the cooking juices and mix a bit of water with it and make a thin sauce to lube it up and if that doesn't help then run the meat and juices thru a blender or food processor to break it down. Or eat tuna or egg salad mixed with mayo for protein. Try your very best to stay away from white carbs like the docs are telling you to eat. I hate to say ignore your doc but I have a relative with diverticulitis and he eats pretty normal foods. If you just can't get the protein down then go with protein shakes till it goes down better. That is much better for you than the potatoes and other stuff that has no nutritional value to it at all. You will also feel full faster and longer with lots of protein.

Do these things along with weighing and measuring your food and I bet you will will find your self losing before you know it! I no longer even have weight loss surgery and I managed to maintain my weight loss eating this way but I eat more calories closer to 1500-2000. So if you cut down to 700-900 cal and less than 20-30 grams of carbs I bet you are down several lbs in no time!

Gastricsleevemepleas
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on 2/7/16 9:39 pm

Aww I'm sorry to hear that things aren't going so well but one thing that comes to mind is maybe trying a support group even though i know you're online some times people do better face to or maybe one on one and also call you're wls doctors and see if you can come in for a visit if you haven't done so. I hope this helps some and I'll keep you in my prayers.

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