Received my first negative comment yesterday...How would you respond?

Momofthreeinwis
on 11/17/16 12:13 pm
VSG on 05/04/16

 First negative comment yesterday! We went to a pizza place that we used to visit weekly. I've been there one other time since my surgery. The waitress who always waits on us came over the table and said, "Don't you think it is about time you stop losing weight?"
I didn't know what to say.  At first I said, "No!  I would like to lose another 30-40 lbs."  She gave me a strange look and then shook her head.  So I said, "you just aren't used to seeing me like this."   How do you respond to comments like this?  I know she wasn't trying to be mean, she was being concerned, but it hurt my feelings a little bit.

 

AK_Gipson
on 11/17/16 12:16 pm
VSG on 04/14/14

You might think so, but my docs want me to lose a little more. 

If shis concerned, knowing that you are under doctors care should take of it :) 

           HW:292 / SW:258 / CW 173.9

      
  

cappy11448
on 11/17/16 12:40 pm

I would just let it go.  You never know where people are coming from when they make comments.  

I barely got to a normal BMI, and I had people telling me I was too thin.  They don't know and can't really judge impartially.

I had one cousin who was the same height as me,  who was telling me I was too thin.  Then we compared weights and we were exactly the same weight and same height.  I told her she couldn't complain I was too thin anymore.

In retrospect, this is all humorous to me.  Don't take it too seriously.  There is so much baggage about weight in our culture.  Just let it be their problem.  Its not about us.

Carol

    

Surgery May 1, 2013. Starting Weight 385,  Surgery Weight 333,  Current Weight 160.  At GOAL!

Weight loss Pre-op 1-20 2-17 3-15 Post-op 1-20 2-18 3-15 4-14 5-16 6-11 7-12  8-8

                  9-11 10-7 11-7 12-7 13-8 14-6 15-3 16-7 17-3  18-3

     

pr31
on 11/17/16 12:55 pm

You just gotta let it roll off your back and keep your goals in mind.  I'm 5'2" and 171 so still obese and hoping and like you want to loose another 30-40 lbs.  I've already had a few well-meaning friends say "Now don't loose too much."  Like you said, she's probably not used to seeing you at a more normal weight and me be struggling with her own weight issues.  Keep focused and stay strong.

Surgery Date June 3, 2016

HW: 329 W at first consult 290. SW 238, LW 128, CW 139

White Dove
on 11/17/16 1:02 pm - Warren, OH

You are right.  I can't wait for the Dairy Queen to open again.

You are right, it is so hard to find jeans in size zero.

You are right, I am so tired of dieting

You are right, I am so tired of men hitting on me

Have fun with this, it usually does not last and the same people will look at you in a year or so and remark that you are gaining weight back.

Real life begins where your comfort zone ends

Luvmygs
on 11/17/16 1:25 pm
VSG on 12/04/14

I'm with cappy, let it go. We will always have people making comments about our weight. They don't know where we came from or how hard we've worked to get this far. You gave a good answer.

 
  

    

SilverGirl2015
on 11/17/16 2:52 pm

She was probably just trying to sell more pizza! Or maybe she meant it as a compliment?

happyteacher
on 11/17/16 3:32 pm

I wonder if she meant it as a compliment? I think your response was perfect. People really do need time to adjust to massive weight loss, and their brains remember us at full weight. Compared to full weight we are down right thin, but that is not the same thing as being at goal weight either. Hang in there and remember that it is because you are doing so well that something was mentioned.

Surgeon: Chengelis  Surgery on 12/19/2011  A little less carb eating compared to my weight loss phase loose sleever here!

1Mo: -21  2Mo: -16  3Mo: -12  4MO - 13  5MO: -11 6MO: -10 7MO: -10.3 8MO: -6  Goal in 8 months 4 days!!   6' 2''  EWL 103%  Starting size 28 or 4x (tight) now size 12 or large, shoe size 12 w to 10.5   150+ pounds lost  

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psychoticparrot
on 11/17/16 3:53 pm

"Maybe you're right. I'll check with my doctor." Then order what you planned to eat.

You can't please everyone all the time or even part of the time. If you please yourself and your surgeon with your weight loss goals, end of story. Don't give negative comments more consideration than they are worth, which means none at all. 

 

psychoticparrot

  "Live for what today has to offer, not for what yesterday has taken away."

fiercebynature
on 11/18/16 5:35 am

You answered well , Its so hard when your taken off guard. 

It was completely inappropriate for her to comment at all . You could approach her away from others (since you may see her again) and explain in what ever kind way is comfortable to you that she should not be commenting , that it's not appropriate, and that she should please don't do it again , especially not in front of others . Again I will label this as bullying. If  there was a caring attitude in this at all she would have done it differently. She does not know your cir****tances, nor does she have the right to know them . 

Peaple just have to stop commenting, regardless of if their issue is your weight , sexual orientation, gender affiliation or the colour of your skin or hair . 

Im so thankful that you shared your story , it helps me decide how I will respond when it happens to me ( as unfortunately I know it will) 

sorry for my rant , this is obviously a pet peeve for me ! 

I wish you well and hope you don't experience that situation again ! 

 

 

 

Surgery: 9/2/16 H.W. 340 S.W.254 C W 208

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