lessons from the weekend

well, folks, if there is one thing i have learned over the past few days, it's that this sleeve business is really just a roller coaster in disguise. today has been good. yesterday, not so much. tomorrow - anyone's guess. but i have learned a few lessons, which is always valuable.

1. a spoonful of peanut butter to get a calorie and protein boost was not a good idea. in fact, it was a terrible idea. i'll attribute this to surgery brain. while i typically enjoy peanut butter, burping it back up for the next hour and half isn't so great. note to self: don't do that.

2. fish agrees with me. thank god. i love fish and would have been genuinely sad if i couldn't enjoy it.

3. still having the burpy-pressure-esophagus thing. i have been really cautious about what i am eating, how fast, portion, etc...and it still plagues me. as a matter of fact, i am trying to get down a protein shake right now and within 3 sips...you guessed it. boom. pressure. i am at a bit of loss on this. i am not hitting my daily protein or fluid goal because if i get that pressure feeling, it's game over. i can get it from water. i can get it from protein shake. i can get it from random soft foods. calling my surgeon first thing in the morning about this. i am not screwing around with fluids or protein and must get these down. i am barely surpassing 300 calories and feel this needs to a bit more.

4. some days, this is psychological warfare. i had a total meltdown over dinner last night because i find myself terrified of the next bite and not enjoying my food. it feels like a science experiment. is it going to be the one that puts me over the edge? will it make me terribly uncomfortable for the rest of the night? i don't know what my "full" signal is yet. i can't rely on the "burp" signal because i can burp after one or two sips of water - and i KNOW i am not full on two sips of water. i have learned that the hiccups are my "danger will robinson, you're going to pay" signal, but that's an after-the-fact alarm, not something that happens before. so i live in fear, at every meal, of not knowing when enough is enough. it's a massive learning curve and each new days brings a new experience.

5. there is emotional work to be done. i feel like i am mourning the loss of a relationship with food. i believe good food (note: i ain't talking mcdonald's - i mean, good, healthy, flavorful food, with some indulgences here and there) is part of good living. no, i'm not a "foodie", but i enjoy the experience of food. my husband and i like trying new things. thai, mexican, vietnamese, indian - bring it on. it's a comfort, it's a celebration; it's a ready companion. it's going to take some brain power and some soul searching to navigate a new relationship that doesn't default to "let's go out for dinner" if i've had a sh*t day.

6. at the end of the day, i chose the sleeve because i believe in balance. the thought of never being able to enjoy a small slice of pumpkin pie on thanksgiving or a small indulgence on my birthday doesn't jive with me. the moment i feel "deprived", watch out. i like the notion of eating a healthy, vibrant, flavorful diet and allowing some quality treats here and there. it feels sustainable.

hope you fellow sleevers have had a successful weekend. (i am down 15.5 lbs in 11 days. blows my mind.)

It sounds like you're having a rough go with recovery and I'm sorry for that. I hope that you get answers from your surgeon soon and it is probably also very wise for you to work on finding a therapist to work with if you don't have one already.

Hang in there. It'll get better.

thanks for the note, gwen. interestingly enough, and despite these burpy-pressure hurdles, i feel like i've had a fairly smooth recovery thus far. i have good energy, minimal soreness. it's been better than i thought it would be. i have three weeks off but within the first seven days felt like i could be out and about.

just have to find some answers and tactics to deal with this pressure. i know it will get better. just have to hang in there and not lose sight of the endgame.

Sounds like you have a good handle on what needs to be done. I am 12 days out and only down 12 lbs. I seem to have hit a stall :/

Best of luck

A

a pound a day is GREAT. keep on truckin'.

There's a lot of mental work that goes along with the sleeve, and you've done a really good job of describing those challenges.

I really understand #3. I'm still taking PPI's. I try to prevent "overfill" by measuring. When I told the NUT I could eat 3 tsp. of puréed food and then I was full, she thought I meant TB. Had to confirm to her I'd measured properly. (She's big on "data".)

I hope things settle down and run smoothly for you soon!

You are only 12 days in and there is a lot of healing going on. Things will probably change. I was only consuming 350-400 calories at your point and everything was puréed.

Hope you figure out what is going on with your surgeon...keep us posted. Still sounds like you are doing great with the weight loss!

I can really relate to i had a bad day so let's go have a nice dinner. I'm starting post op week 7 tomorrow and last week i had a really bad day and was tied up so didn't get to eat/drink for several hours. It was the first time i thought all i want to do is go home and order thai food. I told my friend who said "your coping mechanism is gone" and i thought...oh wow you are so right! My next coping mechanism is a glass of wine and that is out too (for a while at least)! I came home and took the dog for a walk and saw some friends at the part...it was good substitute for panang shrimp and crab rangoon!