The Binge Monster made its first reappearance
Nick and I checked into our hotel and found out we'd been upgraded. Most of the upgrades seem to be food related and when we arrived in our room there was a beautiful tray of macarons and fancy chocolates. I have always wanted to try a macaron and that's the dumb excuse I used to cut a piece of it and eat it. The next thing I knew I had taken a tiny bite out of 5 of the chocolates. That old urge rose up inside of me and I suddenly felt compelled to eat every thing on the tray. Nick saw my panicked look and asked if I was ok. I asked him to trash all the sweets. Lesson (re)learned, a bite of some things is never going to be enough for me, so I must skip them all together. Forward march...
Jess
To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all. - Oscar Wilde
Age: 36 Height: 5'9" HW:326 GW:180
Pre-op:-32 M1-26 M2-11 M3-13 M4-10 M5-13 M6-8 M7-12 M8-7 M9-7 M10-0 M11-11
Binging (or the urge to binge) at 2 months post-op is a bit concerning. If you aren't already, it would be wise to see a therapist about this. It's good that you were able to get help before eating everything, but the lack of control this early out should definitely be addressed.
VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)
Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170
TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)
Thank you for the advice Gwen. I am in counseling to address my issues with food. It is heartbreaking to be faced with that impulse even as my stomach heals. I am forced to accept that the surgery has not and will not fix that for me.
Jess
To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all. - Oscar Wilde
Age: 36 Height: 5'9" HW:326 GW:180
Pre-op:-32 M1-26 M2-11 M3-13 M4-10 M5-13 M6-8 M7-12 M8-7 M9-7 M10-0 M11-11
I sincerely hope that you weren't expecting it to! I'm glad that you're in counseling. I hope that the combination of surgery and therapy helps you to get where you want to be. It's hard.
VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)
Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170
TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)
Logically I knew it wouldn't, and I had done plenty of research before surgery that plainly stated it wouldn't, but I think there was some part of me that secretly hoped it would. Yesterday was a reality check. I'm committed to doing the work I need to do, and clearly much of that work is upstairs.
Jess
To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all. - Oscar Wilde
Age: 36 Height: 5'9" HW:326 GW:180
Pre-op:-32 M1-26 M2-11 M3-13 M4-10 M5-13 M6-8 M7-12 M8-7 M9-7 M10-0 M11-11
I understand completely. I'd say it gets easier but... "constant vigilance." You'll make it.
VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)
Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170
TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)
