I love you girl!  You have got this 

Love you woman!  You and Alison are two of my favorite *****es :)  

Yay Linda!  You are doing so freakig awesome!

Much Love!

We need another meetup soon

With some super support from my friends, I made it through my first boudoir shoot.  I got a slide show on a disc to bring home to my husband as well as some prints for him.  It wasn't that easy, as I still am not comfortable in my own skin.  However, I made it through, and got some pictures that I am very happy with.  Some I hated, as I could see the loose skin in them - but others blew me away.  My husband said he can only see his sexy, beautiful wife.  Damn he's beyond perfect for me.  I am lucky.

Here's the one he says I can share in public. lol

~Angi

I have almost always used a blender and ice for my shakes. :)  I haven't had any worries.

Wow Frisco - you know how to work a suit!! Yowser!!

Smart and Final, Cost Plus World Market, some at Fresh & Easy - I think Target had a tiny selection.  I ordered most of my SF syrups online.  The strawberry one is great!  The mango one was even better :P

You can't blame the sleeve for this or say it is not for you.  You had surgery less than TWO months ago.  Stand up, take responsibility for YOUR choices and go get some therapy.  You obviously had many more issues than you were aware of prior to having surgery.  This is a life choice, not a quick fix.  If you didn't know that going in, you do now, and there is no going back.  With the way you have been behaving (evidenced by your posts), NO surgery would have worked for you.  You are not working your plan, you are not making good choices, and you are shifting the blame instead of getting help.

Take responsibility, get some help and get your head and your ass back on plan.  Otherwise, be prepared for failure, as there won't be any other result if you continue down the path you are headed.  And you will have no one to blame but yourself.

So, got the diagnosis finally... only took last 6 or 7 years or so.  I know this may not be the right board, but I consider this my "home" board.  So venting my frustration here.  

Don't get me wrong - after years of mind numbing pain and mis-diagnosises, I am happy to have a name to what's wrong with me.  But my vent is coming from my anger at the years I went without assistance and without knowing what was wrong.  I have been tested and stuck like a pin cushion and had MRI, CAT scan, etc.  You name it, it was done.  I even went through months of walking with a cane.  I thought that I was on my way to losing it with the pain and issues I was having. 

But as I sit conflicted about my health and my future - there is one thing I am relatively sure of, 95% of my previous doctors can suck it.  lol.  I don't know how many times I heard "When you lose weight, everything will get better."  or some variation thereof.  It just makes me mad that I spent all of this time hurting because I was often looked at and dismissed, once they saw a fat woman, that was my problem, and basically my cure all would be to "lose weight." 

I lost the weight, and it didn't magically cure me.  If anything, my symptoms seemed to increase or maybe I could just feel more.  

I am crabby tonight, so my thoughts are drifting to things that make me upset.  And as I am also in a lot of pain this evening... my drifting thoughts have found a spark to land on and set themselves aflame. 

Ok, maybe not violent, but angry enough to think about it.  

I like being small.  I am happy with my progress and hope to always be small.  I love shopping now.  I love looking at the clothes that I used to pass by with a thought of "nope, nothing in that rack for me".   In fact today my daughter and I were just browsing the mall when I went into a store I had never been in before.  As I was ooohing and ahhing, I remarked that I didn't think I had ever noticed this store before.  My daughter said, "Mom, you noticed, but you said they wouldn't have anything for you ever - and now look, you can wear everything."  Love that kid.  

My violence comes from our experience on Saturday.  My daughter, a friend, and myself went to the Alley in downtown LA's fashion district.  As my friends from OH can attest, I am in love with this place.  LOVVVEEE... cheap clothes.  oh yeah!  

I am now in a size 3, comfortably.  My 5s pull off without unbuttoning.  I am just comfy in a 3, and prolly will move into a 1 by the time it's all said and done.  (I get the don't lose anymore weight thing a lot; but that's a whole other convo).  My daughter and I went into one of the stores to get me jeans.  One of the few places with a dressing room.  I picked out 4 pairs of jeans, all size 3. I was looking for a last pair when the sales lady came over to "help" me.  I said I wanted a certain style in a 3.  She stood there, gave me the up and down look and said "You better take them in a 5, they have no stretch."  I just was shocked.  I said, no, I am a 3, I would like a three and I will try it on."  She paused, grabbed a 3 & a 5 - hands them to me and says "You must try on the 5 first, I am sure it will fit better."

WTF!!??!!  I turned and went into the dressing room, dumped the jeans on the floor and grabbed those size 3s!!!  I put them on, and don't you know it, they fit and buttoned and everything.  I walked out of the fitting room over to the lady, said the threes fit fine, thanks.  I then returned to the fitting room.  I put my own clothes back on and left the pile in the room, collected my child and the MANY bags we had.  I then walked straight across the way to her competitor where I proceeded to buy 4 pairs of size 3 jeans.  Screw you lady!

I don't care what size you are, big or small... comments and rudeness like that doesn't stop hurting.  It infuriates me that people think they can talk to another human that and it will be "ok".  I had a strong urge to slap her after that up/down checking me out look. I refrained, but I tell you, I was quite satisfied just showing her they fit fine and then spending my money somewhere else.  lol

Such a great story!  You are an inspiration :)

Congrats on your great NSVs!  I am sure you had a wonderful vacation.  Love your updates.  

Hope to get together with you guys soon.  :)

http://todayhealth.today.com/_news/2013/01/04/16352571-best-diy-diet-myfitnesspal-app-says-consumer-reports?lite

Best Diet  is an app :)