This is NOT happening to me!!!!

Kivagrl
on 10/2/05 4:48 am - Menifee, CA
i need some advice! After a few years trying to get pg, i like many others decided to foster/adopt.. i always had this as a long time goal, with or without my own, but when the road got bumpy, we decided to abandon the fertility treatments and concentrate on foster/adoption (we didnt get too far into fertility, basically in beginning stages of testing and planning). I really thought it would be a good idea to have a foster/adopted child prior to getting pregnant or trying to go forward with fertility treatments... we began interviews/classes/background/home study with the county in CA where we live, and DRUMROLLL!!! we're done.. just waiting for the social worker to type up final report and submit our profile to the "available families" folder!! He said he forsees no problems with the homestudy, so it should happen any day now!! sooo excited. I happen to be 10 days late in my af, and tested POSITIVE in a hpt!! oh my gosh.. why now? i am torn.. happy as alllll heck, still not believing it, since i tested 4 times (im a lil obsessed) and got 2 positive and 2 negative. so im not sure whats up with that! IF i am pg. id be due around May/June.. wow... BUT. here is the tricky part. i still want to foster/adopt while pregnant.. is this awful? i just worked so hard, and am sooo excited to begin the process, i dont wanna abandon it.. family says i should enjoy my 1st "biological" baby then decide.. but i want to go forward w/it.. any suggestions or advice? p.s. i still dont fully believe i am PG or that i will be able to carry full term, but that has no basis, just my doubts, since i havent felt capable in all these years trying Oh.. btw. im 5 months post op... another issue in itself! sorry for long partially rambling post... any advice appreciated!!! Kivagrl
Ro Smiley
on 10/21/05 4:04 am - Charlotte, NC
Kivagrl, My hubby and adopted a beautiful baby girl and five months later Ifound out I was pregnant. It was very hard having a 14 month old and a newborn, but my kids are so close & I couldn't imagine my life without them. I also got pregnant again when my youngest was 20 months old, so now I have a 4 yr old, a 3 yr old and an 8 month old. If it were me, I'd keep pursuing the adoption. Good luck with everyhting. By the way, there are pictures of my kiddos on my profile. R. Sperry
Alisa_U
on 10/30/05 6:53 pm - TX
Ok here are my thoughts as an adoptee and an adoptive mommy AND a much broker homosapian from fertility treatments after trying to conceive for 5 years........(we spent a TON). I always knew we would adopt, I have always wanted to be a mom and didnt care how my baby got here just so long as she did. We did IUI's IVF and TONS of drug treatments....finally we decided what are we spending this money on especially when the end result is ALWAYS going to be a "POSITIVE-or a yes" and not a "Negative" from fertility treatments. It gets really old hearing that this or that didnt work. You start to feel like a failure. So congrats to you for deciding early on to not continue with drug therapy..its REALLY draining on a relationship! My thoughts on your pregnancy and persuing adoption..I say GO for it if you think you can deal with two babies! GOOD FOR YOU! But, please note that some birth mothers will be looking for families that dont have kids at home...and want to place their babies in homes where their child will be numero uno-just keep that in mind. I am not saying all will be like that, some might think its great that their child will be placed into a home with a sibling so soon. If you decide you want to wait to adopt, you can get your case worker to do updates on your home study, I dont know how long they are good in California but in Texas where I am, they are good for 6 months before they need to be redone. With the updated homestudies, when you are ready to adopt you have it all there and ready to go and you dont have to pay to have it done again (just a thought). Keep us updated. I am interested in you now girl! Alisa 08/23/05 lap rny 58lbs gone for good reunited adoptee and PROUD mommy to a baby genius ;)
Kivagrl
on 10/31/05 9:49 am - Menifee, CA
Thank you both for your response.. i am sorry that it has taken me so long to respond... you both are invaluable to me, as being experienced in all the ways im am considering expanding my family!!!! here is my short update... i lost the pregnancy, naturally. i was devastated, but know that what is meant to be will happen when it happens. it was not right for me at this time. were still continuing and have just completed our homestudy. just waiting on our adoption social worker to get his act together! its hard waiting. he gave us an estimated time of 3 weeks like 6 weeks ago.. so were biting nails here. but like i said earlier, when it is supposed to happen, it will!!!! im doing good with my weight los****ting 80 lbs at my 6 month anniversary, and just got my bloodwork back, all normal, except slightly low iron not yet anemic.. so im happy about all that!!! alisa, wow.. lets keep in touch, for sure!!! thanks for your responses again.. im so grateful to have this resource.... we are all so different, but also the same, its amazing.. Happy Halloween!!!! Robbyn
wcf777
on 11/27/05 11:11 pm - summerville, SC
I have a friend who was in the same position. She was in the processing of adopting a child from NJ through child services. She became pregnant. Well the short of it all she was placed with 10 month old child and 2 weeks later delivered her own child. They are doing great. I was doing infertility treatments. I was up to doing shots. I decided to stop and adopted 3 siblings in 1997. Then in 2000 low and behold I got pregnant on my own. I had surgery on 7/6/05. I'm down 80 lbs and would love to have another biological child. Wendy
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