I need some advice!

Hello, My husband and I have been married for nine years and adopted a newborn baby boy in 1997. Then, I was able to have a little girl, who is now five. The problem for us is that I feel like there is still someone out there for us. I would love to adopt again, and my husband is SO against it. He does not want any more kids. Period. It hurts my feelings to the point of not wanting to be with him any more. Not that I would go out and adopt as a single mom-I just feel like he totally does not care about how I feel about it. I do not want to force him to parent another child if he does not want one, but isn't he forcing the opposite on me? With all the problems in the world right now, this probably seems trivial, but I sure would appreciate some advice. Thanks, Sue

I don't know if this will help. My wife and I adopted a 9 month old child in 2004. After we adopted, the bio-parents had a last hurrah and 9 months later we adopted the newborn girl that was the result. So in a period of less than a year, we went from no kids to two kids. In our case, now the wife wants to try (again) to get pregnant. That scares me to pieces. With such new young-uns in our house, adding a third is... frieghtening. Maybe the DH is just worried about that. I know I do.

It was interesting reading Michael's point of view. Often as women we see things from an emotional stand point, whereas men view things from a very practical view - eg how are you going to cope finacially, time etc. Have you asked your husband why he doesn't want any more? If you can sit down together and discuss it, without getting emotional, try and be calm and listen to his reasons. It may be you can both come to understand each others feelings. It is NEVER trivial, deciding whether to be a parent to another child or not. Nor is it a trivial decision to leave your husband. Please try and resolve things with him. Keep us posted. Hope you get this sorted one way or another Ruth