ObesityHelp

This comment was posted to a message-group about weight loss surgery, and I had to share it.  I don't know the poster:

"The negatives are much harder to find than the positives. Especially when I had my surgery back in 2001. I couldn't find anyone who would say anything negative.

I know why though now. Because we are embarrassed and ashamed to tell people the negatives. We are embarrassed of our failures....afterall, we've failed all our life and now we've failed again. It sucks.

I was happy losing 163 lbs after my surgery. I dealt with the pain, the learning how to eat again, how to drink again. Now, 141 lbs heavier... I can tell you - for the first time - I will say I regret it!

Not only have I gained my weight back - my life is different now. I was a healthy fat person. Now I'm a fat person who is anemic, calcium deficient, lactose intolerant, tired all the time, my memory is bad, I throw-up more often than I'd like, my gastro-intestinal track is unpredictable and my stools are most often runny and urgent.... shall I go on? There's nothing positive left about the surgery. In fact, it's my "Secret Shame". I used to want everyone to know - now I hope no one finds out. I can't eat much - at least of the good for me foods. I can however pound away crackers and chips - they go down easily.

My biggest fear? How many years of my life did I steal from my 9 year old son and my husband?

Anyway - I hope someone reads this and thinks a little harder about their decision to have any type of gastric bypass surgery. "

I share this, because I know it's true for many longer-term post ops out there, myself included.

A few stacks of Ritz, and I'm right there along with this woman, gaining back all of my lost weight.  It wouldn't take much, I realize that.  I gained 55 already, in a short few months, I could gain 100 - 175 if I didn't obsess.

But, anyways, I know this comment either made you cringe, or made you think:  "Whatever, she's just bitter."  (Me or the original poster, it doesn't matter.)  It's still so real for so many people.

There's a woman I know as an acquaintance, who had weight loss surgery shortly before I did.  I did not know her before she had the procedure, but she's well over 300-400 pounds now.  I have never talked about "The Surgery" with her, and I wouldn't unless she started the conversation, because, she's failed.  How must that make her feel?  Maybe she's also suffering with complications?  It's possible that she has issues, that no one knows about, because she's so embarrassed of her "failure."  I only know she had the gastric bypass because someone else told me that she had "that same surgery you had, you know!"

She's not the only one. There are more people that I know, that have "failed" to progress or relapsed back to what they were - some of it I can't share - because it's not my place yet.  I know some of you out there have had serious non-success.  (I don't like calling it failure, because sometimes, for some reasons, it's not "your fault.")  Those people who don't make it through this process with a Shiny Happy Butterfly Journey aren't sharing it, though, unless they have a reason to make it known.   Perhaps if they've got a story to tell, a message to get out:  they might be open and share their experiences.  Otherwise, they're hiding their past, and often forgetting that they ever tried to change.