Childhood Sexual Abuse and It's Link to Obesity

After being molested and raped throughout my childhood from age 6-14 I used food also to make myself un attractive to men.  Figured no one will wanna try it again if I am fat. Well, when I was 18, a man tried and was convicted of crimminal sexual assult against me.  It made me wake up and say well I guess that didnt solve ANYTHING!  Now here I am morbidly obesed and in a love/hate relationship with food and myself! I fell stupid for thinking it would help change. Anyways enough of my ramblings...
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In my pre-surgical counseling group almost every one admitted to being sexually abused as a child.  Not a scientific study, but certainly got my attention.

I run an Emotional Eating group at work. Every member has had some form of abuse. It is very hard to deal with those terrible feelings, so we tend to comfort ourselves, that only pushes down the memories and makes people obese. Working on dealing with those memories without the use of food is difficult. It happens every day, many times a day.
Currently I am writing a novel about Obesity & Gastric Bypass surgerry, based on my own & others experiences, with fiction thrown in. I have maintained my 100 & weight loss for 4 years and am very proud of it! I never would have been this successful without my OH friends

I am very sorry for those of you who suffered abuse as child/adolescent/or as and adult.

I too was a victim of CSA by my mother (Yes woman can be just as cruel and abusive as men)  - but my stepfather was worse, and my mother failed to protect me and my sisters. I was very lucky to be placed in a fosterhome at 8.

I think most of us, who have studied the causes of obesity know that there is not one single factor causing obesity. Genetics, sociological, physical and psychological factors all play their part - and we sure know that there is no simple cure for obesity and that WLS is not an easy fix.

For me CSA made me struggle with recurrent depressions, severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Bulimia for 21 years and Social phobias. I have no doubt that antidepressants and antianxiety medications have caused weight gain for me - because I became more sedantive.

During the years I have had more than 900 hours of therapy in order to survive and cope. I did recover from my eating disorder - but it took 21 years before I was able to stop binge-eating and puking afterwards. I have to live with the pain of CSA and it is hard.

I eat healthy food (but do not go out much ...) and even if I do not overeat to cope with unwanted or difficult to handle feelings - my weight increased until 3 years ago - even though I tried everything to loose the weight, I was never able to keep the weight off (sounds familiar?) .  Increasing weight have made my social phobia worse.

So yes I am sure that some of the consequences of CSA have caused ME to become Obese. Would I have become obese if I had not been sexually abused as a child? Yes I think I would - but I might have been able to avoid WLS. I will however never know.

All I know is that I will treat myself really well and do what ever it takes to live and cope as good
as I can. I would not be getting WLS if I had given up on myself. Just like therapy I see it as getting a tool to help me improve my quality of life - it will not fix everything and I do not believe that loosing 100 pounds will make everything in my life perfect. It will give me other challenges and I am sure some feelings that are burried in excess bodyfat will need to be adressed. But bring it on! I will deal with that too.  

IMO - all the therapy in the world to cope with the aftermath of CSA - will not prevent anyone from becoming obese.  Obesity is a complex issue that has to be adressed and treated. And for severe obesity WLS is an option. Survivors of CSA will however still need to live with the pain and problems - WLS will not change that.

BTW - male survivors are not alone - a big online community and organisation exist offering support and healing retreats:

www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php

I am sure there are several other ressources availble for women too. Because I know that all survivors will need to adress certain issues in order to recover and LIVE.