Discrimination may sound too harsh. But would you as fat person date another fat person? Would you as a fat person hire another fat person? etc.

What are your experiences?

to be completely honest yes i would hire a fat preson.  date on the other had hell NO by the time his stuff got past his gut and mine he have to be hung like a horse LOL sorry heavy men are not what i am attracted to but a husky built one is just fineeeeeeeeeeee

LOL!

I love your candidness!

I defend fat people against discrimination because they are generally unable to fend for themselves..

Good for you R5S! Very often no one will speak up when something is said. :-(

What do you mean, fat people are generally unable to fend for themselves?

It's always nice to stand up for others.  However, when I was fat, I was capable of standing up for myself and fending for myself.  I'm kinda offended that you would think fat people are less capable of that than skinny people.

Kelly

Kelly,
While the poster made a very general statement, I think they had a valid point. In my personal experience, I have seen a number of overweight people not stand up for themselves and have had heard/seen countless posts on the weigh****chers board on things that they had put up with.

I was very rarely picked on as a kid (due to my size) for two reasons in my opinion.  (1) I was very good in sports despite my size so I was always picked first out of the girls and (2) I would not take any crap. 

I remember when I was 14 or so they were taunting a girl named Sandy on the bus.  Sandy was overweight, wore glasses that were two inches thick and was very, very quiet.  It was mainly one boy in particular, he actually went so far as to spit in her hair one of this lungy things.  Of course, I didn't allow this to go on and I went off (in words) with this bully until he finally shut up.  I probably was not too kind with my comments to him ... I went after his "short" size, he was probably only 5' 2 or so, however, I turned the table on him and after that, he had nothing further to say to Sandy. 

I am very glad that you have the courage to defend yourself ... unfortunately, there are others that don't and they come in all shapes and sizes, not just overweight people.

I read this the way Nancy did, too.  A lot of people who are obese just sit there and "take it," whatever "it" is.  We see it here when people have a big ol' life change after wls...and change jobs, move across country and/or break up with spouses, partners or old friends after they finally start NOT "taking it" any longer.

Sue

I'm finding that, the thinner I get, the more sympathy I have  for a fat person.  As far as dating,  I've always been attrached to the teddy bear kind of guys.  Still do.  I sure don't want somebody to be skinny.  When I put my arms around a man,  I want something to hold.

I have dated fat ppl..............I have hired fat ppl. It's not a matter of appearance. It's a matter or qualification for a job or character for a date.................or at least that's the way it SHOULD be!

Like a previous poster, I find myself becoming more generous and sympathetic towards fat people the more weight I lose.  When I was fat(ter), I do think I was as discriminatory towards my fellow fatties as the rest of the world, which was totally a reflection of my own self-loathing where my weight was concerned.

I did, though, and still do prefer tall, slightly hefty men, what someone called teddy bears.  I guess I didn't want to worry about breaking a guy during bedroom romping, ha! 

 I LOVE big and tall men...always have. My ex was only 5'9" but a little on the heavy side my new boyfriend is 6'4" and about 320......he's perfect. I guess I've always had trust issues with men for reasons I'd rather not speak about and he just makes me feel safe when I'm in his arms. 

Love it! Oh and I too find myself looking at overwieght people now much differently, I want to scream to the world how much this surgery has helped and me even though i'd only lost around 40 pounds total and I still have plenty to go, I feel amazing!!! 

I wanted to hire a very obese young girl once, but the Store owner told me it would look bad for their food business to have someone so fat working there. He thought maybe the customers would think that she was eating the food she was serving at that it made her fat!

He did have a valid point though regarding how she would manouver around the small counter with other staff as everyone bumps into each other as it was, without such a large girl behind the counter too. He also though perhaps she would not be physically capable of standing on her feet for 12 hours a day.

While some of his points were valid, I knew the real reason was that he didn't want someone "fat" serving his food to customers.  Sad but true and I had the lovely job of telling her she didn't get the job. Discrimination is a sad reality these days.

While I'm not physically attracted to bigger guys, if I fell in love with someone who happened to be bigger, then I think that physical attraction would come later. Must admit I love my current boyfriends slender frame! I've always been attracted to tall skinny boys, but I think that was just because I wanted the opposite of what I was. Now I am a "normal" weight, I do like my men a bit meatier! lol

Since becoming "skinny", I have noticed that I notice larger  people more. I have noticed I am judging them in my head :(  "Why are you buying that packet of chocolate, why are you eating that massive tub of ice-cream, why are you in the McDonalds drive-thru" and I think it's because I myself made all of these mistakes.  But I had no self control when I was that size, pre-rny, so really shouldn't even be having these thoughts. 

My heart goes out to larger people now and when I see someone who is debilitatingly large I just want to tell them about the options available to them! I was to share my wonderful "secret" so they too can experience this wonderful life that is available after weight-loss!

Some do.... the (in)famous "Surgery Wars" are a good example. Instead of supporting one another as on other Bariatric Sites... It seems that one can have "Open Season" on people who have a a Surgery that is not part of a certain group... (NOT all....most DS'er;s are awesome and wonderful people) It just seems a militant group who enjoys insulting some peoples decisions on their choice of surgery...

I "get"  educating people...But calling some people Christian-Judeo Guilt is over the top...I am Buddhist/Zen and I believe in eating healthy and well...It has nothing to do with guilt...

Not all of us can afford to pay out of pocket, not all of us WANT a certain surgery and not all of us are "sheeple". (Nor are all of us stupid or "dumb" which I find highly offensive as I have an autistic son, he is smarter than most "normies" I know.)

So yeah... Of course discrimination goes on within the Obese, Bariatric community. Simply look at some of the threads here.

in the "real" world, it happens all the time as well. Fair? Heck NO...But it goes on. (Remember I said I was a cynic just from what I have observed in daily "real life"...Most people are rude and care only for themselves...NOT all...But many. Regardless of their weight, color, sexual orientation or what not. I have a Gay brother I love with all my heart...I have often seen him be discrimanatory against hetero people often lumping them in "Christian groups" He knows I am Buddhist and of course doesn't lump me in those groups, but I often chastise him saying others might be wiccan or zen or Buddhist and not "agree" with him but accept him.)
Warmly,
Jackie

Of course, it's ONLY DSers that do this. Right.

Which part of the IF/THEN construct do you have trouble understanding??  I didn't call anyone, anything.  If you chose to self-identify with character traits in my statement, then that was your choice.  And if so, perhaps it is a good thing you didn't have a DS.

However, you should NOT consider the DS if you

1. Are too stupid to follow the simple rules of the DS: eat high protein, take your supplements, get your labs done diligently and adjust your supplements as necessary
2. Are too lacking in self-control to manage/time your overall intake of refined carbs to avoid weight gain and gas
3. Are too sheep-like to argue with your PCP or surgeon for the right to have the most effective WLS
4. Are too passive to fight your insurance company to get the DS, when most of them will LOSE on appeal
5. Are too cowed by doctors to stand up to them in the future, to explain what surgery you had and how your treatments need to be tailored
6. Are too submissive to advocate for yourself
7. Are too weak to be certain that you will ALWAYS ensure your access to necessary protein, supplements, lab tests and other medical care
8. Are too dim-witted or so brainwashed by Judeo-Christian “morality” to understand that eating delicious flavorful food that you enjoy and which is right for your anatomy is not sinful or gluttonous – it is wonderful!
9. Are so self-loathing that you feel you need to suffer to atone for your sins in order to enjoy life with weight loss surgery

Nowhere does this state that IF you had some other surgery, THEN you must have those traits.  Unless of course you have some sort of reading comprehension problem.

I would date a fat guy...lazy and sloppy no (that goes for skinny guys too).  I am a manager and I would hire a fat person.  I know form experience that fat people can be hard workers...I am.  I have been working 60+ hours a week for 8 years.  I did that when I was 350+ lbs too. 

Would I hire someone fat ... absolutely, as long as they were the best qualified candidate.  However, wouldn't just hire them because they were fat.

Dating ... maybe.  I wouldn't call it discrimination, however, if most of us are honest we have certain preferences.  Some women prefer not to date short men ... bald men.  Some men, like blondes better than redheads/brunettes, etc. 

On first appearance, I would say I probably would not be very attractive to a very obese man.
However, if I got to know that person, people definitely have a way of growing on me.  Personally, I actually don't find stick thin men or women really attractive.  I think people look more real with a little curves.  But again a man will get a lot more attractive to me once I get to know the real person they are.

A little off track, however, one time we were hiring a person for a Credit Representative job and I was probably only 23 years old at the time and the hiring Manager said to mine & his boss (Vice President) that he didn't want to hire the candidate because she was a woman ..... and no women would be strong enough in that position to demand money,etc., She would probably cry if confronted, yelled at, etc.  The fool actually said this in front of me ... a woman! 

The VP just smiled at him and stood back to watch me go off on the Manager.  Hmmmm ... the woman was actually hired and she actually did a good job. 

Regardless of weight, age, race, religion , etc. discrimination should not be tolerated and anyone that doesn't stand up for someone else, in my mind, is part of the problem. 

Another randorm thought, did you see the Oscars?  Everyone was commenting how it was pathetic that Kirk Douglass presented and that it was so awkard watching him.  And they were interviewing some people on the street on what they thought of his performance and two of the interviewees were in their late teens/early twenties and they commented that they thought he was adorable and was actually the funnest part of the night.  That made me smile.  As a country sometimes I think we have no respect for our senior citizens and we regard the elderly as useless members of society.   For crying out loud the man is like 95, went through a stroke, etc. ....give him some credit and respect.  Okay, okay, I will get off my high horse now.  . 

Actually, the kids were right:  he is adorable.  I am happy to see him with his sense of humor in tack and still having "the joy of life" about him.  I hope I'm like that when I'm 95.  Only 39 years to go!

OT- My boss wouldn't hire some one after seeing that they graduated college in the 70's...she said he was too old.  Weird what people decide to discriminate against. 

So I am surprised she had no problem hiring me at 350.