"Selfish Brat"

Thanks for the apology, I didn't mean to come off so harsh, just got a little defensive. 

Drama is some of it.  in fact, I think it started it.  A big part is the judgmental part of it.  We got tired of acting and dressing like we were "supposed to" and not being ourselves. 
Like I said, it has been a long time coming. 
I don't know if we will look for another church, honestly.  We are currently "worshipping" him on our own terms. 

I don't mean to be snippy in asking, but I'm curious....how does or would your church react to you doing pure romance parties? 

The people at my church think it's a great idea, especially for military spouses. It's hard for spouses to stay faithful, especially being gone for a year or more. It's a huge relief on the deployed spouse to only have to worry about buying batteries instead of worrying their spouse is cheating. It helps them keep their mind on their job and helps them be less distracted about what could be going on at home. Plus it helps the couples stay close durring deployments, especially on Skype.  

I only know  married military women so we have a great time at my parties. All of the ladies I sell to have said that their marriages have become stronger and their sex lives are better. Once the couples start talking to eachother and talking about what they like or don't like, they become better at communicating and better at listening. My husband and I believe that the biggest part of having a strong marriage is being able to talk about anything even if it's embarrassing. We also believe that sex is a beautiful part of marriage and the better the sex is, the stronger the marriage is. Not the only reason for a great marriage, but still a huge part.

see, thats a perfect answer, and I couldn't agree more. 
At my church it would NOT be viewed that way.  It would be frowned upon and encouraged not to participate. 
Its a combination of not talking about it, and just being 100% celibate, because handling things yourself is frowned upon to.
Just a glimpse as to why we chose to part ways with it......

I definitely wouldn't sneak around do anything behind my husband's back or do anything myself while he was home to do it himself. I also expect the same respect from him. But if he's away on deployment, I'm sending him with a deployment chest. I'll send him with a Super Stretch Lips (male stimulators), some Whipped (lubricants), and some toy cleaner (vaginal health). I'd Keep some Whipped (lubricants) a B.O.B. or a Platinum Pete (vaginal vibrators), and a toy cleaner (vaginal health) for me. Heck, I might even make a deployment pack to sell cheaper than buying each thing individually.