DIVORCE

Sometimes I wonder if the speed of communications is all that good. I had a husband off on a one-year long cruise around the world, and while we had our disagreements via letters, it helped to let things cool off when hasty things were said and read and answered and it took WEEKS to do!

Yes, he is deployed, yes, he is under a great deal of stress. 

Write to him and tell him what you said in Line 3.

Hugs,

i was thinkung the exact same thing!

if you think your marriage is worth saving, follow Lynn N's advice

Well I am going to spin it like this:

You just had WLS, have lost a bunch of weight, are cute, no kids, cool hair, and had a good 8 year run that is now over. That's a pretty good place to start :)

Nothing is perfect, and nothing lasts forever because we aren't here forever. I am sure after the heartache something great will come your way be it a new relationship or otherwise.

10 years from now (or less) you will look back and realize WLS is one of the best things to ever happen to you, divorce or not. And who knows, maybe your husband just can't deal with all YOUR changes and just needs some time or counseling? idk I don't know either of you. All I can say is....keep on keeping on. It will get BETTER!

I'm sorry you are going through this too.  My husband surprised me asking for a divorce also, after 16 years of marriage.

It's tough, we do have to small children. 

Be kind to yourself, you'll question A LOT and wonder if you could have done something differently. 

Manda,
      The deep dark secret is that relationships often get stressed or fall apart after WLS. Why? Well, to be honest, WLS brings about change and change is not easy on most people. People, as creatures of habit, like a certain comfort zone. We grow accustom to the way things are and are often threatened by anything different.
      Sometimes partners are threatened because they s their role in the relationship being diminished. They see that the relationship isn't just about them, when they realize that their partner, who is now more attractive to others, will require that they be treated, (and viewed), in a different light. 
      WLS is about improving live through living healthier. It is a total lifestyle change, to a healthy lifestyle. A healthy life is dependent on having healthy, supportive people around you. We can not force change upon others, only hope that they will accept it and be healthy and supportive.
      Best wishes and please do not let this derail you. WLS was about living a better longer life, which you will. You chose to change your life for the better, it is a shame that he has chosen not to live that new life with you, but you need to stay focused on you goals. If he ever truly loved you, he will find his way back.

I'm sending Hugs your way.  Getting blind sidded is the horrible.  I wish you luck working threw things. 

 I am so sorry this is happening to you ((((hugs)))) ... words fail me...

I'm so sorry. This is SUCH a common thread among couples going through deployment :-(.

GEEZ...what a tool.
(sorry, not helpful, I know)

I don't have any words of wisdom.

Keep coming back here. Lots of good people with lots of life experience.

So sorry this happened...things will be okay.

Thanks everybody for your support.  It means a lot, and helped a lot.
I haven't talked to him again, yet, but I have made a decision....
I am not accepting this.  I am not rolling over and letting him out this easily.
If he needs space or whatever, hows living on the other side of the world for another year for ya?
I love him and am going to fight for him.
We got married in the LDS Temple for Time and All Eternity, and whether he currently believes in that or not is besides the point. 
We will get through this, I'm not going anywhere.