OT: How to tell someone they are verbally/emotionally abusive
Her only choices are to stay and risk escalation into physical abuse, or leave.
He's controlling her by the withdrawl of "love" and pouting etc etc etc.
Google verbally abusive relationship signs/symptoms. There's enough info out there... NO need for her to stay in this ****
Your post sounds like a "statistic waiting to happen". Extreme jealousy, seemingly stalking behavior and the instance that he is only right are a recipe for a very poor relationship and probable physical harm to your friend. He is not likely to change. She is going to have to make the decision to leave, WITHOUT telling him. Too many statistics about women saying they want to leave an abusive relationship, and they end up in the hosptial or worse. DAVE
Dave Chambers, 6'3" tall, 365 before RNY, 185 low, 200 currently. My profile page: product reviews, tips for your journey, hi protein snacks, hi potency delicious green tea, and personal web site.
This guy sounds like my EX-husband, who became and Ex for BS exactly like this.
If he has not physically abused her yet, I'm predicting it will simply be a matter of time.
You can tell your friend that he is not going to change. He is who he is. Regardless of what we would like to believe, "men" like this one do not change because this is not a bad habit, it's a psychological flaw that would need some intense therapy to correct.
You friend needs to dump this guy; however, I would also predict that if she tries he may end up stalking her...
on 8/5/11 11:33 pm
I left in the middle of the night with 2 small kids with just the clothes on our backs, to get away from an abusive alcoholic. I had called a women's help line and they got me to a shelter, where I told my kids we were on an adventure. I had to leave my job because the shelter was so far away, I had no money, no clothes, no furniture, nothing. Things worked out and I decided then and there to never put myself and my kids into that kind of position again. I haven't live with a man since (that was 12 years ago). I have had the same boyfriend for years and believe me, if he talked to me like that he would be an ex boyfriend. I expect to be treated the same way I treat him.
Good luck but I would stay out of it. Maybe if she didn't have someone she could vent to, she might take some steps to better her situation.
WLS 10/28/2002 Revision 7/23/2010
High Weight (2002) 240 Revision Weight (2010) 220 Current Weight 115.
There's nothing for you to tell her except that you don't think she deserves to be treated that way and that you will support her when she is ready to leave the abusive boyfriend. Because nothing she does will make him change. All she can change is herself. She does not have to stay and continue to be abused.
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
on 8/6/11 4:20 pm
"The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue." --- Dorothy Parker
"You may not like what I say or how I say it, but it may be just exactly what you need to hear." ---Kathryn White