The other day I was out with my daycare kids and ran into a lady that I know and we have a mutual friend.  My friend has lost 260 lbs all on her own.  Congratulations to her!  I am so proud of her and thats what we talked about.  This lady went on and on about our friend.  I agreed.  It is a major accomplishment.  Anyway, I thought I'm going to tell her I had wls and I can brag on myself.  HA.  What a laugh.  She just stared at me like I was worthelss.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!  I worked hard at this weight loss and I am VERY proud of myself!!  That's it!!!  I'm not going to tell anyone anymore if I get that kind of reaction. 

 You should be proud of yourself!  I don't think people realize or have insight to back up the cruel opinions they can have.  My dear friend had her WLS a few years ago and mine is scheduled this week.  Someone in my family stated about my good friend "well, she did it the easy way."  Give me a break, the easy way?  No, just one of the ways.  Any WLS is a major undertaking with all the preparation and undertaking of new skills to eat properly...and of course it is MAJOR SURGERY.  Anyone who thinks it is "easy" or "not real" or "cheating" is simply uninformed or ignorant of the process.  Good wishes to you, you have done great!  I hope to do the same!
  I commend anyone who has taken on this process!!!

 I keep it to myself. People think it is the same as having a tooth pulled and that you cheated. I don't waste my time educating them. I just let them think I was never fat.

Hi Julie,

I understand what you're saying as I have experienced similar.

When I went into this, I decided I'd be very open about my surgery.  My thoughts being that if I acted ashamed and hid my intentions, I would only be guilty of promoting the negative stigma that so many seem to have attached to wls, so I was very open and forthcoming about my decision to have surgery. 

If I could go back and change things, I would not be quite so open for a number of reasons.

One of those reasons is I hate when I run into people I have not seen in a while that my weight loss always seems to be brought into the discussion, and I'm at a point where I just don't want to continue discussing it.  I am more than my weight, or my weight loss.

I will also add that I have been in conversations where my wls has been mentioned to someone who did not know I had wls and I have visibly watched their demeanor towards me change.  It's almost like their respect level drops a notch or two.

While those of us who have chosen to have wls understand the work and commitment it takes, I really don't think most people outside the wls community have the slightest clue what it takes.  I thin****il they walk in our shoes, they're clueless. 

Keep up the good work because you are doing awesome!!!

Hi Julie6

               I made a decision early on that I wasnt going to disclose my weight loss surgery to anyone...Only people that knew were the ones I wanted to know....I find people out there are most discourteous when it comes to weight loss surgery!!  Yes, and they do think it is the easy way out too...This surgery is not easy...you still have to diet...still have to exercise and now you have to take vitamins too...it is not easy!!!!  I stand behind what I decided to not disclose my surgery...its not anyones business....You have worked hard....enjoy your life and be very proud!!!!

 Girl .. You have every right who to tell or not too.... sadly  What you JUST POSTED  MAY cross over to Face BOOK  MY advice , REMOVE ANY PHOTOS or anthing that will TIE you to WHO you are   on he NET!  NO Kidding! ... Just word Up... It's your Body, your Choice. YOU get to Chose... I stand behind you 100%!!!!!!! 

I'm two months out and fortunately have not had any negative reactions. But I do tell people it's not the EASY way, it's the SUCCESSFUL way. (I always think I have to clarify that I understand it's a tool and regain is possible. But it is still statistically the most successful way to lose and keep off the most weight.)

Do you think perhaps you are reading too much into her look?

 Never? No one? That seems a bit extreme. 

I feel you, i at first I wasnt going to tell anyone, but I had employees and I went ahead and told. Sure enough, I get positive comments "you look great," I get the negative on you didnt have to do that you could have taken some old wise tale rememdy etc. today I had a wonen I raley had a conversation with just come up and asked what did i do to lose the weight , i do not know what came over me but i did not answer her. i just ignored her. now i know why starr jones refused to tell anyone she had surgery.  it is our business we do not have to tell. let um guess.

JULIE-since you said she's "a lady that I know" I'm figuring she's not an actual FRIEND anyway-right? Don't sweat her opinion-it doesn't matter. Is she overweight? Often our successmakes others face their own demons/jealousy/etc.

Now..YOU need to stop saying the mutual friend "has lost 260 lbs all her own", because DOES make it sound like YOU think you did something "wrong". KUDOS to your friend for taking charge of her life/health, but betcha she had SOME kind of help, though non-surgical (perhaps dietician/WW/trainer/etc). I pray she is able to maintain the loss, long term, but I think we all know how successful WE were at that.

You ABSOLUTELY will want to talk about your WLS, and how it improves your health-and you should feel free to. You never know whom you might help. Do you belong to a "in real life" support group? There's nothing equal to being able to sit with peeps who truly UNDERSTAND dumping/foamies/tube sock boobs/snarky friends. If there is not a local group-START ONE. OH can get you started-it's truly easy, and very rewarding.

Hang in there-you're a beautiful lady, and have LOTS to share!!!!

You should be proud of yourself! 

Imagine you have to dig a big pit and all you have is a spoon. You could dig the pit, it would be VERY difficult, and you might lose the willpower to do it, but you could.

Or you can get a big shovel to help you. You're still doing the work, but you have a tool to help you. Wouldn't it make sense to use the shovel if you have it!?!

When I talk to folks (and I tell everyone I meet about my surgery BTW) I focus on the health, and how this surgery helped me become healthy. That's what's important, it's not a race or a competition, it's a journey to a healthy life- and no one can argue with that.

:Danni

Well said...your analogy with the shovel is excellent...I'm going to steel that one!

Jackie

 Congratulations to you; you have every right to be proud of your weightloss! That being said, I often do not understand why some people feel it necessary to tell others, especially people we don't know very well, personal details about our health. If she asked about your weightloss, I would think it would have been enough to brag that you have lost the weight by decreasing your calories and increasing your physical activity, she probably could have related to that.  Was there a reason you felt it was important to share with this woman? I mean, if she was morbidly obese I may have shared that info...some people have never met anyone who has had wls and you could have answered some questions. But, generally, I wouldn't share that info any more than I would share the news of the cavity I had filled last week, or the gallbladder I had removed 14 years ago.  It isn't anyone else's business.

I am choosy about who I share my WLS with, and tell many people that I chose to finally take charge of my health. If people say something about it being the easy way, I ask them what they think is easy about getting one's insides all rearranged.

For sure WLS is not the easy way out! We all have to work so hard every single day! And I am grateful every single day for the help it gave me in getting the weight off in the first place.

I'd like to hear how being cut open by a surgeon is taking the "easy way out".