Hi...guess I'm just having one of those days.

I'm 4 weeks out tomorrow from RNY & I just feel pretty flat I guess. Yes, I had a few post-op complications to contend with (& a return to hospital for a few days) so I've been trying to tell myself to ease up on myself a bit but I'm struggling today.

It's not that I feel no weight loss - I do, I notice it. My bras have definitely got 'roomier', & I can see my torso's got neater, but it feels like nothings happening south of my waist lol! Am I going to end up with a disproportionate body?! Coz right now my ass looks to me like its bigger than its ever been!

Then I went & read this paper online from this nutritionist who claims that success of gastric bypass rates are calculated too early & should be taken from the 4 year point because at this stage 'over 50%' regain their weight...& of course, that really bummed me out.

All things considered I should be on an 'up' today because I drove for the first time, I'm seeing some results & every day I'm getting a little bit stronger after my MRSA infection & antibiotic side effects & I'm having no real diet problems...so why do I feel so despondent??

Cxx

I lose from the top of my body first too. It isnt where we would take it from if there was a choice, but at least it is going away!! Get stronger every day and we are here for you. sending hugs your way. feel better
I dont believe that you should let those stats bum you out, it is all about following the plan. I heard that those that do regain some still are smaller than when they started. There are so many conflicting studies it's hard to know what to believe.

Candy

Thanks Candy - you're right...it would be worse if nothing was happening wouldn't it? & things are all what you make of them. I just think I should be feeling exactly like I did before surgery!
Cxx

You feel despondent because you just had major surgery and your body has been insulted and assaulted and is still recovering.  
Because you are still under the effects of anesthesia which can take time to leave your body and can leave you depressed.  
Because you are losing fat and hormones are stored in fat so they are being released into your system at a high rate (think PMS x100).  
Because you are changing your relationship with food and your ability to deal with your emotions by overeating or eating certain comfort foods.  
Because your body and thus your identity is changing and that may result in your relationships changing, too, as people get used to seeing you differently and may fear what will happen as you no longer lack the self worth or confidence to stick up for yourself and say what you feel and possibly even let go of unhealthy people who have hurt you or haven't supported you.  
Other then that there is no reason to be despondent.

I'm six weeks post-op and have "survived" my frustrations at the four week mark but these bullet points are awesome - so helpful to me today.  I'm going to print and post them at my office.  Thanks for so clearly articulating what I've struggled to understand for weeks!!

This makes a lot of sense to me...thankyou : ) x

Thanks, ladytazz, for breaking this down for me so eloquently. It's been 5 1/2 months since my surgery & I'm still not 100%. One thing that sure cheers me up, though, is the fact that I'm 70+ pounds lighter & can walk 5+ miles on one walk!

Thanks again for this.

CAROLINE-I have been following your story since the beginning...yea..I'll admit it..I'm your STALKER..lol...usually whatever I was GOING to say, someone has already said, so I usually don't repeat the same stuff, but I DO have you on my daily prayer board..

It's a well known fact that we nurses make the WORST pts (career hospice nurse here), and that we will always be worse on ourselves than we would EVER be on anyone else. Pretend, for a moment, that that woman int he mirror was a pt, who has come to you for advice...Would you tell her "Your infection is much better, your face looks great, but WOW, you sure have a fat ass!!"...of course you wouldn't!!!

I suspect you are having a bit of "buyer's remorse"-and who wouldn't-after all you have been thru???????

Has that NUT had WLS? If not..well..forget her AND her stupid calculated rates...

I'm 10 yrs post op and 300% HEALTHIER than I was 10 years ago..

now..go STAT that !

Preach it sista!!!  LOVE your response!

Thanks Gina...you actually made me laugh there! No, I certainly wouldn't say that to a patient - I'd be more likely to say 'are you kidding me?! ...give yourself a chance girl!'

Trouble with me is I'm impatient - while I was sick I was distracted. I just wanted the pain & the nausea to go away & then I'd be happy (as I told myself). Now that's fading out my original objective is returning to focus & I'm constantly second guessing myself - 'am I eating too much?', 'am I eating too little?', 'dietician told me to forget the weightloss & keep the calories up til I'm healed so I had better not skip anything...', 'I did this to lose weight so I'd be better skipping that meal...', 'I should be at the gym by now...but I've still got a big hole in my side!' - argh! lol! Where's my head at?!!

Cxx (& thankyou for the prayers)

 What Lady Tazz says!! Darling, please go easy on yourself. It's a strange thing, but your mind CAN play these games on you. You are traumatized. Think about the stress and duress your little body has been through!! I know you were unable to answer private mails, but if you like, just reply here and I will send you my home email. I am in England, not sure ... But thought you may be here too.

Chin up!!!
Peace,
T

Thankyou! I know, my head tells me to catch a grip but then goes off thinking for itself lol!

I'm not actually in England - but I am in the UK (so well spotted there) I'm in Northern Ireland & being off the last couple of weeks has allowed me to witness our outstanding success at our Olympics (tho my surgeon is actually there this week which is a bit sickening but I guess he can afford it lol!)

My email is carriebell@hotmail.co.uk.

Cxx

i dont know about you all, but i am not a stat.  I am Jodi.  I am a mother and a daughter and a sister and a fighter, but not a stat.  I have beat back those numbers several times in my life.  Hell, if i listened to stats i would be dead by now.  Keep doing what works and screw those odds.  Choose your destiny girl.  You have been through much and many are praying for you.  I am in your corner sending healing thoughts and encouraging vibes your way. 

Thankyou Jodi. You have the right attitude...it all just kinda messes with your head doesn't it?
Cxx

You've been through hell, nobody expects you to be dancing a jig just yet and for some of us, it can take quite a few pounds before we really really see it.

Dont focus on the statistics, focus on you! you can do this and you will. and give yourself some time. hugs, Judi

Thanks Judi. You've helped me gain a little perspective there!Cxx

 Hang in there and prove those statistics wrong girl!  I got so sick of everyone saying oh yeah I knew someone who had that surgery and theyre bigger than they use to be now.  Well instead of letting that bring me down I was and still am determined not to be one of those ppl and to prove them wrong.  Youre only a few weeks out and still emotionally trying to put everything together whats going on with your body.  It takes a while.  Just remember to breath and dont be to hard on yourself.  Hugs! 

Thankyou! I think I've become obsessed with looking for the problems - I'm scared of getting my hopes up & being mistaken in doing so...its like I want to shore myself up against the problems because 'forewarned is forearmed' & all that? I want to be able to insure myself against further disaster lol!
Cxx

You control this journey from now on, you have the tool to make it happen, now you gotta get your head in the game and do it.  It really is all a mind game now, you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start feeling happy for yourself, you have a chance that some die waiting for.  Sorry thats a little abrupt but its true.

Oh I know that Heidi - honestly, I do. & some days I'm over the moon & can't believe I've actually done...that its over...that I'm out the other side & no one can take it away from me. I feel safe (& if I'm honest, a little bit smug) & I feel like I cant imagine feeling any different than that...& then for some reason - just snap your fingers - & I'm full of doubt. Full of 'what have I done?', 'what if it all goes wrong?', 'what if I start getting sick again & it won't stop?', 'what if I never feel well again?' & 'you did this to YOURSELF...' - all things I am sure we all ask in those first few weeks & to a point I expected. I never thought it was going to be a walk in the park or that it was all going to fall into my lap with ease - I just didn't expect the confusion & doubt of am I 'doing it right' or the feeling not deserving it...that's a weird one but its there all the same. It's like a sense of guilt, selfishness, failure to appreciate what I have in my life to a point that I had to have MORE - I had to be thin again too...
Yeah, its not a feeling of 'poor me' & self-pity - its more a feeling of 'lucky me - but I don't deserve it so by some kind of karma-like force I'm gonna pay for it' - if that makes sense? I'm telling you, I've lost it lol!
Cxxx