I am about 450 pounds. Its been a year since my seperation (divorced but not official since that costs a lil money) and I have been living at a relatives for a year (had some money saved up for rent but its dried up now.) I cant pay anymore plus they are selling this house anyways so I have a month left here.

I have been trying to find a job but to no avail. I havent really had a career. I had a few small jobs in my early 20s. I am just about 30 now. I had dedicated my life to raising my son and so I took up the stay at home dad thing. so now I have this massive gap in work history and I look like a massive blimp. nobody will hire me.

I told them I would lose weight while living here for the year. I lost a lil. then gained it back. I blew my money on stuff that wouldnt help me to lose weight. I have made so many bad decisions that I feel overwhelmed by my stupidity.

I cannot afford surgery. I have a few hundred left and that is all. I dont know what I am going to do. If I magically find a job then I can get a room mate and that could work out for a while. but finding a job is proving impossible. I have no prospects. No college education (I went a few years but didnt finish). No honed talent for a career. I am as mediocre as you can get. I have made hundreds of bad turns for the bulk of my life.

I might deserve what is coming to me.

Having a stranger on the Internet point out what you already know isn't going to make you do what you already know you need to do, but whatever. I'll play along.

Make a list of why you need to get your $&!+ together. Still raising your son? Do it for him. Make a better life for him. Be an example to him.

Now make a list of DOable things you CAN do now to move in the right direction. Not everyone has a phd that gets work. You need to start looking for whatever you can right now, whether it's phone sales, sell your stuff on Ebay, whatever you can find. Several jobs if you can find them. 

You are durdling around online already, so I know you have internet access, so go to Dice.com and look for a job.

Put an ad on Craigslist for something you can do. Pull weeds, help with computers, pet sit - THINK OF SOMETHING. 

Get a roommate or two to get your living costs a low as possible. 

Again, start with a reason to do what you need to. You have a long track record of not following through, and poor motivation. Find what motivates you. Your alternative is to be a hopeless, homeless blob that seems to be CHOOSING  to do nothing. You deserve better, and so does your son.

you sound pretty depressed , for good reason it seems. It also seems that you are logical ,and know what you have done wrong.
If you are in Ca. you would qualify for medi-cal that would cover the surgery , but the weight is just one issue.
I have an adult daughter who will be "on the street" next month ( she has no plans), if her x  of 15 a year marriage won't help her. She also has made some real stupid decisions , and she is going to have to live with them.
If you want something different than what you have, CHANGE what you are doing.
If you want a job , go everywhere to get one , WalMart, McDonalds, piza delivery..ANYTHING , it may not be enough to live on BUT IT IS A START , I have given the same advice to my daughter , yet she sits at home in front of the T.V. , doing nothing, thus proving to us all that she really doesn't want to change
She has proven by her actions that she will not help herself , and you and she will find that others get tired of being used and soon won't care or will only be willing to help you as long as you are trying to do SOMETHING to help yourself.
Somehow you need to see a doc , get some counseling and get any job you can.
I really do feel for you because it sounds like you are in a really bad spot , you need more help than a forum can give you.
I wish you all the best , you need to start making better decisions, but you already know that
Best wishes !!!

Are you able to get any help from social services?  Perhaps you could qualify for disability?  It sounds like you are very depressed which can lead to bad choices and overeating.  It can't hurt to check it out.
I have been looking for work for a long time so I know how you feel.  I did the same thing for  years that now is outsourced out of the country because people in India will do it for pennies so I have had to retrain but the problem is with this economy not a lot of people will hire someone without experience.  It is very discouraging when even fast food places don't call you.  Don't give up, there is something out there for you.

I'm pretty sure that Starbucks provides health insurance that covers WLS, so that's worth investigating.

First I would check with whatever social services you have available... here we have welfare which will provide the very basics... look on craigslist, kijiji or wherever else there are listings. With your last few hundred rent a room.... they are usually cheap and its at least somewhere to live. Look for jobs.... here is the reality...fat people get work! Perhaps look for jobs that are not dealing directly with the public, like call center work. (it is just an example).

You have a gap in your resume from being a dad? So you explain that to potential employers. Moms have to do that all them time.

My hubby is like you.... he is in and out of work, doesn't expect much from himself, expects the world to hand him things and makes really poor choices. He is also bipolar! He can not logically see the consequences of his actions until the consequences meet up with him. YOU CAN GET BETTER.... seek the right kind of help.

What do you like doing? My husband is right now studying to get his license to sell insurance. He is good at it, he enjoys it and it is a constant profession...meaning... everyone needs insurance.

Anyway you know what to do but you need to get organized, put pencil to paper and write down step 1, step 2, step 3 and get on it...you don't have much time.

Juls

 If you are for real - I will point out the obvious - you can write.

You have been to school?  You have a a degree?  You have a resume?  You can drive?

This isn't about weight loss surgery - you need to get your sh*t together and be there for your kid. Hit your local social services and get temporary assistance and job help.

You don't need WLS to solve your problems. Even if you could afford WLS it won't change your situation.
Along with all the other suggestions, I suggest you also start hitting up all the weight loss tv shows and appply for some of them. They will usually pay you something while they put you through their program.
Check out your local mens shelter and get back on your feet.

I'm a firm believer of everything happens for a reason.  I know that right now you cant see a way out of your situation but, trouble only last for a season.  This too shall pass, I agree with finding out some avenues to seek help via social services.  I know that you can get on food stamps and medicade to provide for u and ur son.  You also may want to try dialing 211 on ur phone, its a national helpline that provides assistance to everyone.  Also, if you have the time, I would seriously try to go back to school.  The reason being is to develop a craft and also the government especially with ur situation will pay u to go back to school.  I have a friend that gets paid 6700 a semester just for going back to school with two kids as a single mom. Money she will never have to pay back to better herself for her and her kids. She uses that money to provide for her and her kids as well as schooling, they also pay for her daycare expenses.  They have Catholic Charities that are willing to help, Salvation armies, etc.  You have millions of resources out her to help you just have to humble yourself enough to admit you have a problem and ask for help.  I learned long time ago that its ok to ask for help, hell they may know something you didnt know.  Either way u have a little one tha****ches your every move and needs to be stable somewhere.  Best of luck and rely on ur faith, the God of my understanding will never give u to much u cant handle.  All this is doing is preparing u for a better future, in this time u will grow, become stronger mentally and physically.  He may not be on ur timing but I can atest that when HE does come through its always ON TIME.  I cant wait for u to turn this here challenge into a living testimony. Also STOP SPEAKING NEGATIVELY ON UR LIFE, SPEAK POSITIVE THINGS/AFFIRMATIONS. Like my pastor always says, never make a permanent decision based off a temporary setback.  What u call a set back maybe what God considers setting u up for a blessing of course. Be blessed

 Go to a temperary employment agency and take it day by day.  In these parts there is one called Kelly- these placements frequently lead to full time employment.  Back in the day when I was in college I tried it once and was offered full time by the end of the week.  Just put on your resume that you were a stay at home dad.  Lose the Debbie Downer attitude- if it comes through on a post like this I am guessing is is an issue for you in an interview.  You can choose to get your act together.