So I recieved a call today from the surgeons office about my stress test that was done in JUne.  The earlier part of JUne might I add, stating that I had some signs of arrhythmia and would need to follow up with the Cardiologist ASAP.  So I questioned why they would tell me a month prior to the surgery.  At any rate I went and got a clearance from the Cardiologist I saw in February.  So when I went to medical records and got my information, my noisy self starts reading the physcians notes and they were hilarious.  PATIENT IS WELL-DEVELOPED, WELL-NOURISHED, OBESED BLACK LADY THAT WHEEZES?  LMAO DAMN CAN U SUM THAT UP FOR ME

That would be funny if it wasn't so unprofessional!

LOL! I was having numbness in the back of my head (it was a pinched nerve) and went to see a doctor. I like to read my notes and it said " patient presented with complaint of numbness to the back of the head. On examination the patient does have a rather large head". My husband laughed soooo hard and now he tells everyone that i was "diagnosed with big head". LOL

   Well, if you're going to have something wrong...

LMAO girl that is funny, but was it true?  I would have told him u never know this may be due to swelling?  Thank u and good night, and scene

 True story, now as to whether his diagnosis was right.....lol I just like to think it was because i have a big brain 

My mom worked in a doctor's office for many years, and she says that medical notes contain some real doozies. My favorite was the abbreviation "FLK", which stands for "funny-looking kid".

I would be mad as hell if that was my FLK (funny looking kid).  Funny or not I would still claim his funny looking a$$.  get in the car sweet pea.

FLK sounds very insulting but it is used to describe a child who looks like there is something wrong but cant put their finger on it.  It is not to describe an "ugly" child but to describe a child who looks like thre maybe some sort of disorder but not sure what it is.  It is used a lot.

 I sort of like the well-developed part.  But, O M G.

No it was definitely hilarious, it was too funny to be offended.  It had other notes under social history of, patient is single never married, lives in fort worth has an ok job.  Damn I didnt know you were hiring. LOL it wasnt like they were passing out depression pills. Patient kept pressing me for pain medication with a pain scale of 8/10.  Damn I thought thats what my insurance covered.  Betcha I wont read anything else I learned my lesson.

Well developed and because I had bronchitis they did xrays and he wrote some other notes then put I also noticed no signs of chest asculations and the patient has pendulous breast?  WTF, I would also like to add that this was a county hospital if that makes sense?  LOL.  Mind u these are not my words their straight from medical records.

A friend of mine, who was a tad "small" up top, once had a chest xray that said "no breast tissue is visualized and the possibility of a mastectomy cannot be excluded".   Thank goodness age and a couple of kids took care of that problem.

That's just how docs do their reports. I once had to get a report from the hospital about a previous surgery and it was written exactly the same way. It's just normal doc talk, it can be pretty hilarious at times, but it's not meant to be insulting to the patient, since most patients will never see them.

Yes^^^...normal doctor jargon.

Working as a paramedic for many years taught me the value of looking at what I wrote throuth the eyes of others. In the past it was common to refer to "shortness of breath'. In the grand scheme of things it became necessary to change that to "difficulty in breathing". The reason? They do not give us much space to write and abbreviations happen. SOB is not a realy popular diagnosis amongst patients, though if the shoe fits.....

My lesson learned?  Refer to spontaneous abortions as miscarriages.  I was interviewing a mother for her latest baby's birth certificate.  I asked her to confirm the abortion and the poor thing went bat **** crazy on me.  Of course I apologized profusely and told her that "spontaneous abortion" is the same thing as a miscarriage.  We both learned something from that encounter, but I think I learned the more valuable lesson.