I'm sad about my body

I've lost 30lbs since May and am down 50lbs from my all time high in 2011. I have 200lbs to lose and am in the midst of medical weight management (maybe 3-5 months to go). I feel like my body is already deflating, and it is making me so sad.

I know I should be happy, and I am proud of the weight I've lost, but my skin is just wrecked. It's not JUST that there's so much of it, I have lines of acne and rashes in every fold no matter how much I wash, and there are new folds every day. My thigh is drooping over the back of my knee. My pannus is already quite extended and I know it's only going to get worse.  I look at myself naked and just cry.

When I am in a dark mood, I am just so sad and hopeless about it. I know it seems like it is just skin but it IS the largest organ after all, and it's already causing me discomfort. I might get through this and have surgery and hopefully reach my goal weight, but I feel like I have ruined my body.

 I know that I'm doing the right thing for my health and obviously skin folds are better than my high weight, but I am just so sad sometimes that I got as bad as I did, and that I will never be rid of the consequences.

I'm just in a sad place and could use some support.

In reality,it isn't the weight LOSS that ruined yur body. You had already. Ruined your body with the weight GAIN. I am not saying this to make you feel worse but to give you some perspective on the situation.

What. You are doing now,losing weight. In prep for losing MORE weight,is going to ultimately fix your body. Staying obese is never going to fix your body is is already messed up,as all of our oldies were.
We have to focus now on getting our bodies better inside and out.

Insurance will usually cover panniculectomy and other procedures if they re deemed medically necessary and yours sound like it will bemedicallynecessary since. You already are having rashes and issues.

Start now documenting these. Issues with pics every time. Ou. Go to the doctor for an issue. Every time. This documentation ins what ou will usetoget your plastics covered by insurance,after o.
GL

Yeah, I know. That was my point, perhaps poorly articulated. I am sad that I ruined my body by ballooning up to my high weight. I know it. 

Wish I could just hug you right now !

We have battle scars.....good, bad, and ugly. But...it is our experiences and the interactions with the world that make us who we are,

YOU are not the sum of your wounds. People love you for you, skin and all. My mom used to call it her 'chubbie'. Now that she is gone I really miss he 'chubbie'

We mourn things gone bye but celebrate the new path ahead of us. You will find creative ways to disguise the chubbies or have them removed if YOU want.

Talk to you MD about treatments for the rashes in the folds. This will help with insurance later if you decide plastic surgery is for you. Get counseling if you need that to help you process the changes coming your way. We are here for you, and yes quite a few of us have chubbies !!

Beautiful response, Saterry

Anne

Thank you so much. I was moved to tears reading this.

Some days are worse than others as far as being upset about our saggy new bodies.  I know exactly how you feel, some days I look at my new "deflated" body (in clothes LOL) and thing dang I look good. Then other days I look at my droopy breasts and get upset.  it changes day to day.  You are taking such a positive path now, I was no where near a successful as you preop, you should be proud. there are inexpensive support garments that can keep things contained and your dr can help you with the skinfold issues.

Blessings your way  ( ) 

Anne

 

Sweetheart you are going through the inevitable! I don't think anyone who has gone through this Weight Loss journey hasn't had a moment when they look at their changing body and cry. I surely know i did and still do from time to time. the main thing we all have to realize is we are not used to the body we are in after weight loss. We have been living for years with 70-100+ lbs on our bodies, and we have grown to be comfortable in a sense. You will definitely get over this in time. Once you get your reconstructive surgery you will be a force to be reckoned with!!!

Great advice and support!  This is what OH is all about!

 ElizaM,  

Keep going, you are doing great.  There will be issues to overcome but you can do it!  Take the advice you have been given and run with it, it is great advice. 

Best Wishes!

I'm going to echo what "hollykim" posted about documenting!  documenting!  documenting!  Start a paper trail by seeing your PCP immediately.  Keep receipts of OTC creams that you purchase to handle the rashes and itching.  Keep receipts of prescriptions.  Take pictures and update those pictures as you continue to lose weight.

Truth is - yes, it is going to get worse.  And yup - as much as we try to rationalize and accept it - the changes DO make us sad.  I'm 5 years out and I have some days where I look at my "tube sock" breasts in the mirror and laugh - and then some days when I absolutely want to cry. 

Someone recently tagged me in a photo on Facebook and when I opened the file I was truly stunned!  OMG, *I* was that big???     Not to minimize what you;re going through and how you're feeling, but I'll take a 120 pound weight loss and saggy breasts any day!

Hang in there,

    Sandie