Mother of young children.

Gillyc
on 10/5/13 12:41 pm
DS on 12/17/13
I have been struggling to maintain my weight since the birth of my twins 2 years ago (I have had trouble in the past but had been able to maintain my obese status for 7 years or so).

I have hypothyroidism and generalised edema (which is very painful). Despite strict diet and daily swimming/running after three young children, I continue to gain weight.

My bmi is 56 and I've been forwarded for DS (I rejected RNY because of my wish for a second child 3 years ago, my bmi was 46 then).
I feel that I can no longer try exercise and diet to control my weight but I am so afraid that I will leave three young children motherless.

I know that the risks for (mostly?) healthy persons under 30 are low. I know I've had 3 operations before (gallbladder removal and 2 c-sections) and survived, but there are always some real risks and it would be one I put my hand up for rather then letting my weight make my life progressively unbearable despite best efforts.

I guess I just need to hear that others have been in the same situation and have improved their children's lives.
Member Services
on 10/5/13 1:45 pm, edited 10/5/13 1:45 pm - Irvine, CA

Welcome to OH!  We are glad you have joined our community.

You are not alone.  Many members have stated that being healthy for their families was a major factor when considering weight loss surgery.  We all want to be the best we can be for the ones we love, but to do that we have to take care of our ourselves. Congratulations for making the decision to focus on your health and wellbeing.

We hope that OH will be a source of support and encouragement to you as you move forward.  OH members are always ready to offer advice and personal experience to help new members understand the wls journey.

Here are a couple of links to some information that may help you navigate our site:

http://www.obesityhelp.com/content/sitehelp.html

http://www.obesityhelp.com/content/terms-of-service.html

If you have questions please contact us at [email protected]

mkvand
on 10/5/13 3:45 pm
VSG on 01/06/14 with

The risks of WLS are real, but they're less than the risks of staying morbidly obese, and you can minimize them by choosing a great surgeon and following the pre-op requirements to the letter.  Can you channel your anxiety into preparing for the surgery?  That is, researching and finding the best possible surgeon and getting yourself into the best pre-op shape possible?

pnut8377
on 10/6/13 3:14 am

I understand your concerns as a mother myself but this will be the best thing for you and your children. I'm having my surgery tomorrow and I'm a nervous wreck and having a ton of anxiety but I'm doing it for me and my children.  Anybody I know who has had WLS I ask them if they have any regrets.  Everyone of them said they only wish they did it sooner. 

                
Washu
on 10/6/13 8:52 am

Absolutely wished I had done this sooner. Five months out and still believe this was the best decision of my life. Good luck tomorrow - follow orders and heal swiftly. :)

View more of my photos at ObesityHelp.com  HW 275 SW 253 CW 155 - 5'2" Age 35 RNY 5/10/13

    

pnut8377
on 10/6/13 3:15 pm

Thank you!!!

Gina 21 Years Out
on 10/6/13 3:33 am - Burleson, TX

My sons were 10 and 12 when I had my RNY. I often wonder if their lives would have been any "better", had I lost weight SOONER, as I had been over 300 lbs when then they were born, and was 340 lbs on my surgery day. My youngest son only RECENTLY admitted to having been embarrassed to being seen with me "a few times". My saving grace was probably that we live in a fairly small town, and I was always very involved in their peewee sports, school, etc, so I knew all their friends,from babyhood, so only "new kids" would have been the ones to "make fun" of me. Last week Chris (he's 21 now) told me he gave a new kid a bloody nose for calling ME a "fat moose"..or something like that. Chris never told me back then. I CRIED, knowing my less than 10 yr old child defended me, all those yrs ago, for something HE had no control over...

Ok..hypothyroidism. Yes, it is very REAL...but what are you doing about it? Not calling you out. Just asking. Do not use it as an excuse not to face your fears. It may not can be "cured", but it can be "managed". I've been a nurse 35+ yrs, and have seen SO many improvements in treatment of this disease. It's amazing, really. WHY the generalized edema???? Have a heart condition??? That really concerned me when I read that. How much fluid are you carrying around? Are you getting short of breath-does the fluid "collect" in any particular places?

Only YOU..and your physicians can decise what is best for you, OF COURSE...but you coming in here, today, was not an accident. ANY surgery is a risk. A BMI of 56 is a risk for a million things-even WITHOUT surgery. Obviously a person with a BMI of 56 needs to get that BMI reduced-by most any means necessary. I know you want to see your babies grow up-AND you want to PARTICIPATE in them growing up...

Have you been back for a WLS surgical consultation since having your 3rd child? That would certainly be a good place to START, but the edema surely will have to addressed, to be sure there are no respiratory issues that would impede anesthesia.

You are VERY obviously a loving, caring mother, but you will not be able to fully take of THEM, if you are not able to take care of YOU..

 

RNY 4-22-02...

LW: 6lb,10 oz SW:340lb GW:170lb CW:155

We Can Do Hard Things

Anneg_11414
on 10/6/13 5:08 am - Buchanan, MI

As a mother of two young adult children (25 & 22), I want to do everything possible to be there for them as long as possible as they have already lost their father.  I have been looking into WLS for the last 10 years and now at my heaviest, it's my only option left.  My brother who is two years older than me and also obese, in the past week has now started dialysis because his kidneys have totally failed.  I do not want to be in that position two years from now.  I am finally able to be able to afford it due to the fact my insurance doesn't cover the surgery.  Thank goodness I have a very loving husband that understands how important it is to me.

Gillyc
on 10/6/13 5:21 am
DS on 12/17/13

Thank you for your replies, after researching DS a lot last night I know I have to go with it.  My referral is to Dr. Ganger (montreal).

 

I was only given the synthroid in late 2011 (for my thyroid).  The doctors saw it was high (5.45) back in 2008 when I was pregnant with my first child.  I begged for an induction at 38 weeks because I was so swollen my feet would split when I stood up.  They could not weigh me on the scales (over 150kg) before the operation, three days after my c-section I was 127kg on the same scale. At my 6week check up I was at 117kg.

I wear compression stockings and swim daily in the battle of the swell, but no doctor so far has really told me why I swell.  My lower legs and feet can increase 2 inches around in a day without my regime.  My arms have started swelling much more than they used to (all my nerves are being pinched like in my first pregnancy), it hurts a lot.  My upper thighs hurt to touch (can bring me to my knees).  I've changed my diet (pre twins) to hybrid southbeach.  Essentially no carbs unless double fibre. I still use some dairy.  I eat 3small meals and 3 'snacks' with my children (fruit, veggies, yogurt, cheese,nuts).  I don't carry my weight on my abdomin, so much as chest arms legs and now some on my back and face.

 

I will start taking some diuretics today (with potassium).  I hope it will help some, but I also wish I had a doctor more committed to finding out *why* I swell like this.  I know I need the surgery but I'm fairly sure this wont go away with it.

MickeyDee
on 10/6/13 8:47 am

There was a person here that suffered from lymphedema;  have your doctors explored this?  She had to wear compression stockings and have special massages which moved the liquid from her legs up into her body cavity.  Apparently her leg "back flow" valves were very weak and didn't force her lymph system to push liquid out of her legs and into the rest of the system where it could be processed and eliminated.

She'd had RNY, which did help, but didn't entirely solve the problem. 

 

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