Just...help (need encouragement and advice)

Okay, I know I'm not the only one saying this as the new year starts, but I think I need to reach out right now.  I've been depressed for about 3 months and I've come to realize that it's getting worse and interfering with my life.  

I'm almost six months post-op - and was doing really well until Thanksgiving.  I started having job problems in October and began drinking wine again - at first just on weekends, but since the holiday season started I've gone back to every night.  I've been really depressed and I realized on NYE (as I was thinking very suicidal thoughts) that I needed to get a hold of my depression.  That a lot of my thoughts were coming from this dark space, and not necessarily reality.  I am stopping drinking alcohol today.  I started therapy a month ago.

Anyway, the first thing I did this morning was call the doctor's office to get my meds re-evaluated. I have an appt. tomorrow.  So, my first question is:  can anyone recommend an anti-depressant that doesn't make them gain weight?  I am currently on Lexapro.  I was on Celexa for about 12 years when it stopped working for me about a year ago. 

Secondly, what are the best ways to get back on track with the weight loss?  I haven't really gained so much as stayed the same for the past six weeks.  I work at a university and my exercise outlet has been closed for break, but I plan to start again on Monday.  I used to write down my food intake, and I will start that again - but right now I'm feeling no restriction - is there a way to get that back? 

Anyway, any encouragement or help anyone can give would be appreciated.

I take both Celexa and Lamictal. I also take Klonopin for my anxiety/panic attacks. I have a emergency pill I take for when my suicidal thoughts try to become more than just thoughts but cant think of the name right off (havent had to use it in a long time). I hope your dr can find something that works for u. If u need someone to talk to Im here.

I take wellbutrin.It has worked for me.I think talking to your doctor is a good thing.Depression is a horrible thing.You are taking the right steps to taking care of yourself.You know the wine may make you feel better in the moment/ But you know it will make you feel like crap later on.Therapy is a good thing.I tell my therapist everything.It does make you feel better.Our friends can listen but they don't want to hear the same thing over again.I have been losing since the surgery and I take meds.You know what you have to do to lose the weight,Start writing everything down and write something good that you did for that day.I think if you have any negative friends it is time to not be around them.They will  not help.The holidays do bring a lot of stress on us.Take care.

I'm so sorry your feeling so down. It sounds like you  are taking good steps (going to md, and counseling). Zoloft and wellbutrin are 2 suggestions that don't usually cause weight gain (I'm sure your md will discuss this with you). Hang in there!

Ok, I have no idea on the medication.  But you started this before, you just have to get back on the horse!  You know what you need to do, you listed them all!  Looking at your numbers, you have done great and you will start doing great again!  Keep your chin up :)

I am glad you are OK and that you are still here. Sending love and hugs your way. I've been in that deep hole myself, and I know how badly it sucks, and I'm super proud of you for kicking the booze and calling your doctor.

I am Lexapro as well, as well as a whole other ****tail... Lamictal, Buspar, Lexapro, and Topamax, plus Xanax for panic attacks. I have bipolar and I've tried LOTS of meds over the years, gotta love the trial-end error process. NOT!

Everybody reacts differently to medication, so who knows how things will turn out. Off the top of my head, of all the antidepressant class, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, and Effexor are less likely to cause weight gain. Celexa/Lexapro and Paxil are most likely to cause weight gain IIRC. (And then there's Lithium, which is a whole different special ballgame... ouch.)

Honestly, if you're at a point where you're thinking of hurting yourself, getting mentally and emotionally well is your top priority. If you pick up ten pounds from the meds, that's OK, you can work with that-- far better than the alternative.

Please PM if you need somebody to chat with, I have email notifications on and check my email obsessively.

Journaling may help. Sometimes you need to just have an outlet for your emotions especially if you don't feel comfortable talking about them. Depression is a serious matter especially if you are having thoughts of harming yourself or turning to alcohol for comfort. You may need help refocusing and getting back on track. Remember why you started this journey in the beginning. I wish you all the best and continual success on your weight loss journey.

Hi,

My name is Brandi and I'm an alcoholic.  I had GB in 2009 - by 2012 I was drinking socially - then ALL of 2013 I was drinking EVERYDAY.   I firmly believe the depression has a lot to do with things.  I knew what I was doing however.  I knew with this surgery I couldn't drink afterwards...yet I did and now I'm alcoholic.  Im curious as to why it matters to you which meds won't make you gain weight?  I would much rather get my depression under control rather then care about the weight gain.  Hey... look at me.  I gained 40lbs last year just from drinking wine.  It certainly was NOT from bad eating choices.  I really would like you to consider taking care of your mental health first.  Then address the weight as a secondary priority.  I say this not with sarcasm or judgement...I would rather you be fat then dead as you outline in your post.  

I would really love to be co-supporters if you are up to it.  

I highly RECOMMEND - My Fitness Pal app.  It's the coolest freakin app I've ever downloaded.  Seems like you have a plan in the works.  The key is sticking to it.  ALSO - GET BACK TO YOUR SUPPORT GROUP!!!!!  That was my biggest mistake was leaving my support group after losing the weight. 

Go back to the basics.  AND I can't see your restriction being gone this early in the game.  I'm almost 5 years out and I still have restriction.  It's rather maddening actually - cause some days I want to pig out and can't. 

Just wanted to say - I can relate to you... I am here to encourage, help, talk if you want.   I'll send you a request now. 

Hang in there... FIGHT BACK!!!

I hear your pain and can relate so much. I'm both a therapist and a regular person with my own issues and WLS, and I want to respond from both sides. I hope you are being completely honest with your therapist, especially about the suicidal thoughts, and that you have been referred to a psychiatrist. We are not doctors here, and should not be recommending meds. There are meds where weight gain is less of a concern. Stopping ETOH is essential, both because of the WLS and addiction concerns, but also because it is a depressant- I’m glad to hear that you are doing that. I also hear you taking responsibility for your well-being, and that is essential, too. Kudos for that. Keep reaching out for support. So that is my professional hat.

From my personal self, I do relate. I have struggled with depression my whole life. In my case, it’s biochemical and genetic and related to a crummy childhood with lots of trauma drama, as I put it. When I was young I was seriously suicidal. Now I am so very very grateful that I did not act on it. I would have missed out on so much, all the sorrows and wonder that life is. So please please promise yourself you will never take action no matter how bad it gets. Reach out first. Also, I can say there is lots of hope- give it time, give it persistence, give it strength even when you don’t feel you have anything to give. You can’t see what your future will hold. I am in a very good place now.

Re: your food, I would recommend logging your food as you are going to do, plus measuring rather than worrying about capacity. Going back to your exercising will help a lot- it’s one of the best antidepressants there is in addition to all the other good stuff it does.

You will make it and it will get better. Promise. You just have to hang tough and do what you need to do to manage.