Realistic Expectations

I think many (myself included) first come onto OH and see people post, hover over their name and see a svelte man or woman and think to themselves, "Weight loss surgery will make me look like that". 

It seems like a lot gets lost in translation either by innocent misunderstanding or rather all out ignorance. Surgery alone will not save us from ourselves. Initiatives to make real changes and form new healthy habits is crucial to success. 

I am surprised how many people log on X amount of time after surgery to say "Why haven't I lost as much as you guys have? There must be something wrong with me. Oh by the way I don't work out and I haven't really changed my diet".  

I would love to have some vets give their two cents on realistic expectations on what the job ahead really is like. Tell us how many times a week you purposefully worked/work out. Share what kind of changes you made to your diet. Please give us pre ops more perspective on just how big this tool is and just how much personal responsibility still needs to be implemented. 

Before surgery I went to Curves three times a week.  At the end of the half hour workout, I was covered in sweat.  I also went to the gym for water aerobics twice a week.

The day I came home from RNY surgery, my husband went to Sears and picked out an awesome treadmill.  It was waiting in the family room when I got home.  I did about five minutes on it that day.  I got on it every day and gradually worked myself up to an hour or more.  I added five or ten minutes a day.

I continued with water aerobics and also did the weight machines at my gym.  I drank protein shakes, ate no sugar or starchy things, tracked my protein and water and followed every rule.  I also attended every support group meeting.

As the weight came off, I made sure that I had nice clothes that fit well.  I did not buy a lot at one time, because I went out of sizes quickly, but did not wear anything that looked too big or too tight.  I took my vitamins, weighed myself daily and read labels before eating or drinking anything. 

My journey was very easy.  At one year, I had my appointment for my tummy tuck and that was performed a few months later (because the surgeon I picked was not available until then).

I love my new body and my new chance at living a healthy life.  I still weigh myself daily and am getting ready to go to a water exercise class now.  One of the things that helped me immensely was coming to this board and reading and sometimes helping others.

Well done! And you have an awesome hubby.

Beautiful success story...and you have a wonderfully realistic head on your shoulders too!

xo

I think this is a wonderful question.

Based on information my surgeon told me and things I'd heard from other people, I expected this surgery (RNY) to do two things for me.  I expected it to allow me to feel full on small amounts of food and I expected to get terribly ill (dumping syndrome) if I ate anything off my plan.  Basically I was hoping the surgery would make me make good food choices.  What I found is that it sure did allow me to get full on small portions, but I am still responsible for making good food choices.

I often see people posting here complaining that they aren't losing as fast as they thought they would, and I am not sure why some people expect to lose more than a pound every single day, but that just doesn't happen.  It's not realistic.

I also see people posting about how they aren't exercising and they are eating lots of carby snacks or sweets and they want to know what to do to get the weight coming off again.  Well, an operation on your stomach does not make you suddenly love to exercise and it doesn't remove all food cravings or magically make  you love vegetables and hate cookies. 

You still have to do the work.  My surgery makes it easier for me to do the work.  It does not make it easy.  Just easier than it was before surgery.

Hi Kelly,

I agree that this is a wonderful question and to be honest, most of my concerns revolve around not really knowing what to expect after surgery. You always have such great advice to offer as a Vet and I just wanted to pick your brain if I may...please?

I am considering the sleeve and go for my first consultation with the surgeon in two weeks. I was seriously excited when I finally made the appointment but the more I think and read about other people's experiences, the more I think I am slowing talking myself out of having the surgery...for like the 3rd time. I expect it is not uncommon to have mixed emotions and to go back and forth, I mean this is major surgery and a huge decision. But here is where I struggle constantly and the reason I have been contemplating this surgery for over 5 years now:

I have been overweight my entire life. To be perfectly honest, I am fat because I abuse food. I am a professional overeater and I probably could use some therapy, I am so serious about that. Now on several occasions I have been successful at losing over 100 pounds through sheer will and determination (diet and exercise). To achieve this, however,  I have to stick to an extremely restrictive diet (low carb, low sugar, low fat, high protein) and I exercise like a fiend. This, to me, sounds like what I will have to do post surgery, no?  

So in my past experiences with losing extreme amounts of weight, I am all in the first several months and the weight comes off quickly. My last go around was from August of 2011 until June of 2012 when I lost a total of 115 pounds. Again I did nothing but stick to an extremely restrictive diet and exercise plan I created myself. I was thrilled with my results and truly believed I had beaten my demons once and for all. No turning back right!?  Wrong! Just like all the other times before, my victory was short lived. I went on vacation to Las Vegas and all I have to say is one word... BUFFET. That was all it took for me to slide right back into old habits and now here I am today having regained every single pound I had lost plus 20 more on top of that. I am currently at my highest weight ever and miserable.

So my question is, knowing my history, what will WLS do to change what I think is a behavioral, maybe even a mental issue? The problem is not that I don't know what to do to lose the weight, I just feel like I am addicted to eating, like a real food addict. If WLS is just a tool and the real determinant of my success is going to be my ability to change my lifestyle, am I really a good candidate for this surgery?? 

You are probably thinking "Girl, these are questions you need to ask your doc, or better yet, a psychiatrist, ASAP!!" Maybe so, but I guess my real questions are in your experience, were the physical effects of not having much of a stomach left (or if you had the bypass, you know what I mean) enough to keep you on track? Do you think it Is realistic to expect that I physically WON'T be able to eat like I do now? As time goes on, do you find it harder to stay in your lane with eating?? Also, did you find that the post-op support helped you stay on track, mentally and emotionally? So many questions!! Sorry if this post is overwhelming but that is exactly how I feel right now, overwhelmed!

Maybe I am just psyching myself out ... and maybe this post is TMI but I am really looking for help, preferably from someone who may understand where I am coming from. Any advice or words of wisdom you could offer would be greatly appreciated... and thanks for *listening* to my rant!

Johnelka

Therapy can help a lot with the struggle.

Most of us have or have had the compulsions about and addiction to food, especially carbs and sugar- highly addictive.

But, no, the compulsions don't go away with surgery. The demons never go away, because that is the brain part that the surgery can't do anything about. There is no cure. All we can do is work on managing them and holding them in check. For me, it will be a forever challenge, and sometimes it is as hard for me now as it ever was.

But that certainly doesn't mean you're not a good candidate for surgery. The surgery wouldn't exist at all if we were all poor candidates because of our food addiction.

You have a good track record with managing all that weight loss. That takes huge strength and persistence.

The blessing of surgery is that it helps so much with getting the weight off relatively easily. It doesn't set up all that deprivation stuff because the hunger isn't there, or is at least greatly reduced if it does hang around. It gives you a chance, some breathing space, to get new more workable habits going to support the weight loss and practice for maintenance. That is the gift that WLS gives.

I won't kid you or soft pedal it, maintenance is a forever bear. It's as hard for me as pre-op was, except I do have a small tummy to work with. It just simply takes daily self management and commitment. I look at it as a challenge, and practice practice practice every single day for the rest of my life with no vacations.

Has it been worth it to me, does it continue to be worth it no matter how hard I have to work? Oh, my, yes. Oh, my, yes. I'm proud of myself for finally learning to manage my demons. Doesn't mean they will ever go away. But I'm managing them rather than them having me in a choke hold. Most of the time.

Hope this is helpful for you!

LOVE 

Thanks so much for your reply Anne! And I am definitely going to take full advantage of the psych consults to really work through my issues with food. I feel encouraged that I can do this, and that WLS will make it just a little easier than it has been in the past. I have worked very hard in the past to get the weight off... so I know I can be committed.

I really want to dance again... and date, and feel good about the way I look when I see people I haven't seen in a while. I want to be done with these feelings of shame and embarrassment. And I am going to let that be my motivation to move forward.

Thanks again!

Johnelka