Did any changes in relationships surprise you after surgery?

I am interested to hear what kinds of changes or challenges you had regarding your relationships with people after your weight loss surgery. Co-workers, friends, spouses, children, extended family members etc. what was your transition like? 

None of my relationships changed due to my surgery.

First,  I have to hand it to you - you are really asking some great, in-depth questions.  I think it's gonna make it so much easier for you in the long run to have all of these answers.  Not because your experience will be exactly like any of ours, but because you'll know the range of experiences and have learned what to expect. So good for you=)

The only "relationships" that changed for me were with strangers.  I am  no longer treated as a pariah or as invisible because of my weight.

amy

ps: upon reflection actually I guess many have changed, but only in that I can physically do more now and be more a part of things.  I can sit on the floor and play with my precious two year old grandson all he wants; and that alone is worth the surgery to me.  But there is so much more. Taking 3 or 4 or 5 mile walks is not unheard of anymore (except when my knee is out), I can go on vacations and do more than just sleep and eat, all kinds of stuff.  But interpersonally - no change within my immediate little family circle at all.  I was thin most of my life, then more than doubled my body weight in a year and kept that on for ten years, and now I'm back to being "normal".  kinda. ;P

Changes in relationships - I can't say that any really changed.   

Challenges:   in the beginning I was SO focused on everything with this surgery and doing it perfectly that I drove my family insane with the constant talking and obsessing over every little thing.  My daughter finally said one day, "I don't want to hear one more word about protein intake!" 

Other challenges:  I was honest with my closest friends and sponsees in Overeaters Anonymous about getting the surgery.  Most were supportive but some absolutely were not.  I even had one person drop me as her sponsor.  There is some anti-WLS sentiment with some people in OA so I've kept the surgery quiet unless I'm asked directly.  

Family members have been mostly supportive but I've had to do some education around the whole "this isn't the easy way out" thing.  

My spouse wasn't too excited about this surgery in the beginning but he is fully on board now and will actually be getting the surgery himself in April.  

My marriage is stronger, but I'm not sure how much of that is due to surgery, maybe because I'm feeling so much better.

I've just had to cut it with my best friend of 17 years, but that wasn't due to surgery, unless maybe because I'm stronger about my boundaries and what I will or won't put up with.

Family is stronger and I play so much more with them.

Except with my friend, everything is strong and good. I guess I can't say that about pre-surgery because I felt so badly.

So, yeah, I guess my surgery has changed things. A lot.

I find that people (family and friends, not strangers) around me feel the need to clarify what they are eating or why they are eating it. "Oh, I didn't have breakfast, so I'm having a big lunch" Even though I have not said anything or looked at their food. It is a bit strange. 

My son made a VERY interesting observation the other day. I was in the local running store buying new running shoes for my son and I was in my running gear and ended up having a rather protracted conversation with the young lady that had been helping my son. There was no one else in the store and we likely chatted for 20 minutes or so after my purchase. We discussed the Jeff Galloway program I am using for my half, some upcoming races, where she had her nails done that day (I am on the fence about doing nails again) and so on and so forth. We left, got in the car and headed home. After a few minutes my son looked over at me and said "You know you are totally different now, right Mom? You would never have talked about all that with someone before. Now you run and it is like all you do is talk about running with anyone around you." And yes, I reminded him we also talked about nails and some non-running conversation, but he was right. I am VERY out there with people that before I would never have engaged in conversation with and I almost feel as if I am in a sorority of sorts being a runner. And while I have always been an initiator of conversation, I am much more so now and bit more intensively than before, too. I also find strangers interact with me much more intensively, too. If I tell the checker at Harris Teeter I could not find something, they call someone to go get it for me. I am practically forced to have help out to my car with packages.  When I dropped my coffee (totally my fault) they insisted on replacing it for me, but when the same thing happened a year ago, I had to pay for my replacement at the exact same place. 

So I would say that it is all good, but it is a bit magical. Like I have stepped through into Narnia and living in a different world on the same planet than I ever have before. 

I had some really strange Reponses, my old lover the father of my son, said nothing about my lost wt. for yrs. And then finally one day he was like I miss my fat friend? And I showed him a picture, and said, well I never want to see this again! Me weighing 354lbs!! my HW.
I want through some fazes, one I called the ET, I just did not like the way my faced looked? and my hair never came out, but it thinned, and I hated it.
My old drinking buddy and I lost our friendship? she started asking questions like what was I wearing when we went to hang out? I was not the fat friend any longer. A year after my surgery, I became pregnant, and then a mother, and hanging out for me stopped altogether. She disappointed me by not coming to my baby shower, and the close friendship at that point pretty much ended. We barely keep and touch, and it's never been the same. Recently she saw and had the never to say I was maintain my wt. loss well. And I am thinking and knowing I've been smaller, but I have gained! 30lbs. what is she talking about? I know I am not 354lbs. pounds anymore, but I have gained. But she does not see me so often so how would she really know, I cant wait to lose again! and see if she notices? is that being arrogant, or was she trying to be funny? in the first place. I don't really care. She even tried to befriend a really close friend of mine, a childhood friend that I grew up with, that was totally supportive of my wl. success! Yes, I was a success once before, and I am determined to be again!!

(((())))) You ARE a total success !!  Thank God  you're LIVING your ife and not hiding !!

My biggest change was with my husband. I haven't always been big, I've gained a lot of weight over the past 7 years. And because I was so disgusted with myself, I hated taking pictures...would refuse most of the time, I hated going out in public or going out with friends, he would want to go out to dinner and I would have rather stayed at home. I remember last valentines day he went out with friends and I stayed at home because I couldn't find anything to wear and I hated the stares I would get because my husband is thin. And because of the constant remarks I would get from people, I guess I felt like my husband was too good for me. People would hit on him with me standing right there, without a care in the world, and tell me how attractive he is. He's never treated me any different and would always stand by my side but I guess I feel like I have something to give back.

The only change that REALLy surprises me is the negativity of the " haters"  including my soon to be ex hubby ... and the outrageous "positivity" support , generosity  of the " lovers "  ( and I DONT mean physically lol)