Should I tell my step daughter who is overweight

So I realize that I'm still in the process of getting approval for WLS however, I really cannot quit thinking about my step daughter.  You see although she lives with her mother most of the time, she is a big part of my life too since I've been in her life for six and a half years now.  She is 15 and has always struggled with her weight just like her dad, my husband, unlike her mom who makes fun of "fat" people, has always had the most self control with her own weight, and is so disgusted by anyone being fat, including me. 

I worry if I should tell her (my step daughter) about the wls. I guess selfishly, I worry more about if her mom knows and the wrath and negative comments my step daughter will hear afterwords about me. I don't want her to feel bad for being overweight.   She's beautiful as she is. 

 How do I explain this or should I keep quiet about the WLS?

Being a stepmom myself, I was open with my stepchildren about my WLS just factually, because they were going to notice my weight loss anyway.

I think her mom is going to rail and be negative about you no matter what you do or say no matter what the subject. I think telling your stepdaughter what you said in your post about being beautiful just the way she is is the most loving to say. I'm grateful for the people including my stepmother who said that to me when I was 15, in contrast to my mom's insanity about my weight.

Thank you!  My husband says it doesn't matter what I do, unfortunately,  his ex will always take the chance to be negative towards me. So I guess you're right about that.

She's 15, I think it is appropriate to tell her you are having surgery.  Share your dietary guidelines with her, while she should not go as low-calories as you will be post surgery, the general idea of protein first, carbs las****ch your portions, chew well, listen to your body when it tells you it is full, don't waste calories on liquids (aside from protein drinks obv.) or sweets - plus exercise are great ways for her to take ownership of her own health. 

As an overweight teen, she may need a supportive adult who is there to teach her healthier habits and support her in her efforts to be healthy - without ridicule.  You seem to be that person for her.

If her mom harasses her about you having surgery, then you need to speak to her mom and explain that this is the best choice for you to regain control of your health and she needs to keep her comments to herself.

Good Luck.

Thank you!

Tell her what?? Your post is not clear. Are you trying to decide if you should tell her you are having surgery?? Are you worried somehow she will think you think she is fat if you tell her?? I don't think one has anything to do with the other.

Yes, I'm trying to decide if when the time comes if I should tell her about the surgery. But, yes, I worry about her self image too.  It 's just awkward I guess. 

I would  tell her.Her mother will take pot shots at you no matter what you do.Kids are smart.She might think you are ill if you don't tell her.I am sure she will help you with your transition on losing weight.Cooking together and shopping  is a great thing to.
 
Since I have had the surgery my kids actually are making healthier choices.My son who loved soda no longer drinks it and has lost weight.My daughter helps me with the grocery shopping which makes my life much easier.

I am sure you losing weight will not make her feel bad about herself.Watching you lose weight I am sure will help her.

Thank you for your reply. :)

I decided who I should tell based on this question - "If I die during surgery, would I have wanted this person to know ahead of time?"  For example, I think my parents would be devastated if I hadn't told them I was having surgery and they found out once my partner called them to tell them something had gone wrong.  

But if you're worried that she would tell her mom, then it might be a better idea to keep it to yourself - since it wouldn't be appropriate to ask a minor child to keep secrets from her parent :/  

I saw your comment about your husband above, so nevermind that last question!