Regaining shame

brokenberi
on 2/25/14 3:44 am

The old habits are back and I can't stop! I am so ashamed! I've regained almost 15lbs.  I know what to do, but can't make myself do it.  Has anyone out there been through this and found a way to get back?

Patm
on 2/25/14 4:35 am - Ontario, Canada
RNY on 01/20/12

If your centre has a good psychologist make an appointment and find out why you are going back to old habits

  

 

 

 

brokenberi
on 2/26/14 3:29 am

Thank you so much! I know there are issues I need to address.  I will take your advice and make an appt.

Lucycat
on 2/25/14 5:51 am - Lewiston, ID

First of all, don't be ashamed, just admit that you are human:) You know the more you stress about this, the worst it will get.  Start tracking your eating again and see how many calories you are taking in each day. Look at you activity level and see if you can increase it.  I've been where you are, and I needed to find my motivation. I realized that I might have to go back on diabetic meds if I didn't lose some more weight. The reason we slide back is because food is comforting and it tastes good. If I let myself get too hungry, then I eat the wrong things. I know drink a RTD protein drink in mid afternoon, and that keeps the munchies away. You'll be okay, just take a hard look at what you're eating. 

 

            
AnneGG
on 2/25/14 6:53 am, edited 2/25/14 6:54 am

How far out are you? Are you past the honeymoon stage?

This sure does require ha*****ange, doesn't it? Everything I hated to do pre-op with daily diet and exercise I've got to do now, especially in maintenance.

The most important thing for me has been getting the word "can't" out of my vocabulary and replacing it with the words "will" and "determination". "Can't" lets you be helpless and not take responsibility for your own well being. I don't wait for motivation because I will be waiting an awfully long time, and it doesn't seem to hang around me much. I also don't allow myself any excuses, and don't pay attention to my thoughts or feelings. Plus I don't allow any white carbs or sugar anywhere in my universe if I can possibly help it.

I practice this one day at a time, and am aware that I can and sometimes do relapse in a second. I catch myself as soon as I can mainly because I hate the losing on my own part so much.

It's incredibly hard work given how I am wired, and given what I want to do rather than what I need to do. But the payoff makes it worth it for me.

So I encourage you to figure out what you really want and be willing to work for it. I know that's bad news, but there just isn't any other way.

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls the butterfly." Richard Bach

"Support fosters your growth. If you are getting enough of the right support, you will experience a major transformation in yourself. You will discover a sense of empowerment and peace you have never before experienced. You will come to believe you can overcome your challenges and find some joy in this world." Katie Jay

Ladytazz
on 2/25/14 10:07 am

Regain after WLS was one of the most painful experiences in my life.  I shut myself off from everyone who could support me.  I was embarrassed to see my doctor so my health deteriorated even more.  I couldn't reach out for the help I so desperately needed.

Thankfully, 15 lbs is manageable.  I was looking at 100 lbs.  I felt like I did pre op only with the only hope I had left was gone.  I was so hopeless that even WLS couldn't help me.

One of the things that helps is keeping plugged in for support.  Stick around even if you don't feel like you want to.  It will get better. Just take it one day at a time.

WLS 10/28/2002 Revision 7/23/2010

High Weight  (2002) 240 Revision Weight (2010) 220 Current Weight 115.

Kate -True Brit
on 2/25/14 10:04 pm - UK

Been there, done that! In fact wrong tenses - am there, doing that! Currently fighting a bigger gain than yours. And it s HARD. And very difficult not to slip back permanently into old habits.

But my motivator is that I will NOT buy bigger clothes! So I am trying very, very hard. I have no choice as if I get any bigger, I will, quite literally, have no clothes to wear.  

This s not my first regain, at about four years post-op I gained about 28lbs before I panicked and lost them again. Hopefully, now at almost 8 years post-op, my panic is now great enough to stop the current gain. 

Highest 290, Banded - 248   Lowest 139 (too thin!). Comfort zone 155-165.

Happily banded since May 2006.  Regain of 28lbs 2013-14.  ALL GONE!

But some has returned! Up to 175, argh! Off we go again,

   

brokenberi
on 2/26/14 3:26 am

Thank you so much! I will be 2 weeks post -op next month.  I wish I had reached out sooner.  I won't give up.

brokenberi
on 2/26/14 3:34 am

Error.  I will be 2 YEARS post-op sleeve next month.

SunnyDisposition
on 2/26/14 11:00 am - PA

My 10 year anniversary is coming up in May. In 10 years I have gained back 50-60 pounds. (It keeps fluctuating). 

I am convinced that our bodies are NOT like everyone else on the planet. I have a 1 cup capacity, I am careful about everything I eat. 

My husband
can eat an entire pizza by himself. I can not eat a full slice of a 12 inch pizza (a few bites of crust) and I gain weight.

To him, a diet is cutting back from a full pizza to a half pizza, and he loses weight. He eats 3 hamburgers, AND a side of fries, and never gains a pound, and has the energy that food provides for him. I eat salad greens, a bit of protein in a grilled chicken breast, and I gain weight. To make things worse I have no energy and drag myself through my day, and then beat myself up afterwards for the gain.

So, I am convinced, I will never be thin, never be 'normal' and at best I will be a Kirsty Alley or an Oprah. After all, they have all the money in the world, the best food money can buy, access to the best personal trainers, friends and support, personal swimming pools, gym equipment, doctors, pills or liposuction, and they're still.... battling obesity.

I can not take away nothing from nothing. I can not eat less than salad greens and protein shakes, and raw zucchini with no dressing, 'light soups' from Progresso, chicken bullion, boiled eggs, bits of steak or chicken, or rice cakes. There is nothing more for me to 'stop' eating.

There is no more to cut back on. 

I'd love to
suck down about 10 bottles of beer, a thick shake from Wendy's, or a doughnut. I haven't had a doughnut in 20 years. I'd probably puke from the sugar.
But I don't eat those things. I cut ALL of that out years ago... at least 10 years ago.

Meanwhile the new war on obesity includes 'fat shaming' and on Facebook people pass around photos and videos of fat women stuffing their faces or dancing in g-strings with their dimpled legs and bulging bellies and they laugh, and it's perfectly acceptable. After all, we do nothing except sit around and eat Big Macs, right?

I think I am done with it all.

My favorite food in the world is curry chicken from my favorite Chinese restaurant. Two or three times a year my husband and I go to the restaurant. I eat the won ton soup while he finishes his meal, and it takes me two more meals to actually finish my dinner because I am full so quickly from the soup. I take a couple of bites at the restaurant, then bring the rest of it home in a to go container, have some for lunch the next day, and maybe dinner. 

And yet I gain weight.

So... I am posting this today to let others know that sometimes it's really NOT about what you're eating. And shame comes from not gaining the weight back, but from not being accepted into society for being who you are, and being forced into seclusion, as if the very sight of you (us) is offensive to people.

Screw em.





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